


Nightmares strike in the spine

by magalud



Series: Nightmares [2]
Category: due South
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Benton is arrested, Childhood Memories, Childhood Trauma, Crimes & Criminals, Cultural Differences, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Frozen Armpit of Canada, Fugitive!Ray, Healing, Healing Sex, Heavy Angst, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Inuit people rock, Kidnapping, Medical Conditions, Medical Inaccuracies, Mounties (RCMP), Mounties are so helpful, Native American Character(s), Past Child Abuse, Physical Disability, Ray Vecchio is a prince, Sex, Shamanism, Triggers, Violence, international shenanigans, mistreating of Canadian nationals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-15 11:15:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 30
Words: 88,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29558277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magalud/pseuds/magalud
Summary: In the wake of Victoria’s cruelty, how many times can one wound bleed?
Relationships: Benton Fraser/Original Female Character
Series: Nightmares [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2118105





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: These people belong to Alliance and those other guys, and I just play around with them. Many cameos. Linda is mine, Benny is not. Boy, how I wish it was the other way around... Maybe throw in Ray, too, ‘cause he’s bald and cute.
> 
> Warning: This is a sort of healing series. Many unpleasant experiences to deal with, so it’s not for the faint of heart. 
> 
> Thanks to my friends Jan and Cris, not only for sharing the belief as little Mulders, but also, among other reasons, for not running away from me when reading the first version .... 
> 
> English is not my first language, please forgive me any mistakes. 
> 
> This was written before my first trip to Canada. I have so many apologies to Canadians I cannot even begin. I am so very sorry.

## Chapter 1

He was not crying, really. No one could call it crying. Benton Fraser was weeping, wailing, keening, ululating, or sobbing. Tears were striking down his cheeks; body folded in two, arms crossed in his stomach, kneeling in front of Linda's grave. It was such pain, such pain... 

"You have to move on, son". 

"Go away, Dad!" he shouted, still mourning. All he could think about was Linda. * _Linda, my love, I love you, I love you...*_

"Stop that, Benton", ordered Bob Fraser sternly. "I did not raise you to display such a scene". 

"Stay away, Dad", he insisted, this time sounding tired. He tuned out his dead father's judgmental words and resumed his mourning. 

How his life changed since she was gone... Fraser could not remember when he laughed, or ate, or slept, or really truly lived. He had managed to isolate from all his friends in Chicago, one by one. The last straw was when Diefenbaker refused to go home with him, and announced he was going to live with the Vecchio family, from whom Fraser had violently parted months before. 

But none of that was the wolf's fault. Nor anyone's. He had dug this hole by himself, and he was feeling so alone, so alone. All he wished was to be dead with her. * _Linda my love_ * 

The funeral had been beautiful. It was hard to believe that everything had been organized by Tony, since no other Vecchio was in a position to take on the task. It was an ecumenical ceremony. Father Biehan had received a special request from Father Mulcahey to assist the ceremony. 

What amazed people the most was the number of participants. For a person who didn't even have a family, Linda had had a very busy funeral. There was a very colorful display of uniforms and flags. There were the full Vecchio clan, the Mutchniks, the Robinson mother and daughter, the hospital staff, police from various districts, most of the Canadian Consulate staff in Chicago, and even mobsters – yes, a small entourage from Zukos. This last group decided to keep a respectable distance, but was not asked to leave. 

The day had also been pretty darn beautiful. So beautiful, in fact, that it was a crime to conduct such a painful ceremony on a day like this, Ray thought, beside his mother. On the other side of Mrs. Vecchio, Benton Fraser, the widower, had an impassive face, his brilliant red uniform impossibly impeccable. All Vecchios had prominent red patrician noses from crying. 

When all the words were said and the two priests ended the ceremony, there were many eyes shedding tears among those present. Benton took two flowers, gave one to Ray, and together the two put the flowers on top of Linda's coffin. Ben watched the slow pace that followed the coffin down to the grave, without listening to the crowd sniffling around him. 

That had been before. Now, from behind the tears, he glimpsed at the tombstone. It had changed again. 

**"HERE LIES**   
**BEAUTIFUL LINDA**   
**MURDERED BY VICTORIA**   
**MOURNED BY ALL HER FRIENDS**   
**KILLED BY BENTON FRASER "**

* * * 

"Linda…!" 

Benton Fraser was panting quietly as he recovered from the nightmare, his body shaking and sweating. The dream of Linda's death had not plagued him from three days in a row, and he had thought it had gone away for good. Obviously, he was wrong. For a minute, he tried to catch his breath, and then he looked around to assess his situation. 

How many times had he done it? How many times had he been there? Benton Fraser had lost count and at that point, he frankly could not care less. He was tired, and yes, grouchy – something unheard of. But there were many things about him lately that were unheard of. 

Sometime ago, Benton Fraser had begun to do a lot of things he had never done before. He fell in love, he cared deeply for the woman at his side, and he found out happiness. It was not unheard of that he had spent weeks at someone's hospital bed. Only this time, he could not stand the wait anymore. 

Linda had been in coma for weeks. She had received a cocktail of illegal drugs from Victoria, and her recovery had been uncertain, as well as her survival. During all those tense weeks Fraser had alternatively been relentlessly by her side and chasing the person that had put her in such condition, aiding the law enforcement officers such as Ray Vecchio. Now, as he assessed his situation, he did not find a lot of progress. 

At least, Linda had been off the machines three days ago and survived. The doctors did not expect her to live without the equipment. But she had not shown any sign of recovery, either. _Beautiful_ , thought Benton looking at her face, as she seemed to be asleep. Linda had an IV in her hand, catheter in her waist and some wires hooked to her forehead to monitor the brain activity. Still, to him, she looked so beautiful, so serene, so vulnerable, so fragile, so unworthy of all the things Victoria had done to her... 

It was all his fault. Fraser's heart was strangled inside his chest as he realized that every ordeal Linda had gone through had been his responsibility. And still there was no sign of Victoria. That part of his constant nightmare was true: he and Ray had been off to Wisconsin, and to Michigan, and they followed every tiny little lead they had got hold. To no avail. 

In the beginning it hadn't been like that. Fraser and Ray followed the lead on the small boat used by Victoria, and, with the blessings of Lt. Welsh and Inspector Thatcher, they hopped on a trail that came down to a small town in Michigan suspiciously called Benton Harbor. That lead was dead. But while they were there, Fraser and Ray came across two other leads – one pointing to a bank robbery in Saginaw, Michigan, and the other to a similar crime in Green Bay, Wisconsin. Both of them were dead leads, too. Ray was frustrated as they came back to Chicago. The Italian was fuming and flapping his arms at everyone. Fraser was unusually quiet, more so after the hospital said Linda's condition was turning to worse. Even Ma Vecchio's pampering would not cheer the Mountie up. 

Then Benton Fraser had simply disappeared. 

At first, Ray almost panicked. His first thought was that the Psycho Bitch from Hell (as he called Victoria) had returned and taken Benny. She would torture him and dump him in some dark alley to be found dead, or worse. He recommended extra security for Linda, but Welsh said nothing could be done before 48 hours or some confirmation that Fraser had been kidnapped. 

That was not the case, though. For 48 hours later, Fraser strode inside the 27th Precinct, dirty, ragged and unshaved, towing the captain of the boat that had taken Victoria away. Fraser dumped the terrified man unceremoniously in a chair by Ray's desk, announcing darkly. "Be glad I was not chasing you for littering". 

After complaining for more than three hours about how he was hunted down by a crazed Mountie, the man spilled the beans. It was not much, though. His name was Del Crenshaw, and he had been a sailor by the lake, arrested for small potatoes a couple of times. Victoria had hired him to paint a boat and take it across Lake Michigan to a place called Benton Harbor, and it had made him 30 thousand dollars richer. That was about all he could say. He had not known Victoria previously, nor knew her intentions. To Crenshaw, the whole thing was just a gig that paid extremely well. He never expected that part of the price he would be paying would be charges on aiding and abetting a fugitive, kidnapping, torture, accessory to murder and attempted murder. 

After that, the case seemed to be dwindling. The snitches were quiet; the streets were devoid of information. Ray had gone to the lengths of consulting some informants inside the Mob, people he had known as his undercover job as Armando Langostini. They were not talking either. All leads went to dead-ends, the information died away. There was no case. Victoria was gone and Linda was half dead. 

The doctors tried to cheer Fraser up. Although she was dead to the world, Linda's situation was not totally helpless. The drugs Victoria gave her engendered major blood strokes in her brain, not to mention lungs failure and delay in blood coagulation. For a while, they could not guarantee her survival. Linda was hooked to virtually every machine they had to prevent a total collapse of her organs. She had a few close calls, but her heart took every sling and arrow of her outrageous fortune. And that kept her alive. 

Meanwhile that, Fraser held extensive negotiations with Dr. Lennyard. As helpful as he had always been, Linda's doctor still had authority over her, and that could really upset the Mountie. He questioned some of the doctor's decisions regarding her health, and sometimes they were bordering open conflict. At such points, strangely, it took a very special Italian diplomat to break the deadlock. In her own way, Ma Vecchio was the one whose point of view always seemed to prevail. 

"Benito?" 

Fraser raised his head immediately when he heard the old woman's voice. He tried to smile at Ray's mother, and failed miserably. "I am not sleeping". 

She smiled. "You should be, _caro_ _mio_. I can stay with her tonight. Why don't you go home and get some sleep?" 

How could Fraser tell Ray's mom, always so gentle and helpful, that he could not go home? That without Linda he could not bear being in their apartment? Every little thing inside the place was a reminder that she was not there, that she might never be there again, and Fraser could not stand it. He chose the diplomatic answer. 

"I assure you I am fine, thank you. You should also rest, Mrs. Vecchio." 

"Nonsense. There is no arguing over this. Raymondo is coming to pick you up. He is parking the car."

Right after he said that, an Armani-clad figure went inside the room. "Hey, Benny". Ray stepped to the bed, kissed the forehead of the still figure lying on it and said something in Italian to her. The scene was so touching that Fraser felt a lump in his throat. 

Then Ray turned to him. "Ready to go, Benny?" 

"Ray, I was telling your mother I am not tired at all. There is no need -" 

"Benny, sorry, but she has made up her mind. You know how Ma gets once she decides about something. She even had Tony tide up the guestroom for you. Come on, I am taking you home." 

Fraser sighed, and it sounded like resignation, but it was relief to find out he was going to the Vecchio's and not to his apartment. He nodded, picked up the Stetson and approached the bed. Oblivious to Ray and his mother, he caressed tenderly Linda's hair, brushed his lips in hers and whispered, "Love you forever". Then he followed Ray and left the room before he could see Mrs. Vecchio's tears. 

*** * ***

"Linda?" 

It seemed she could not open her eyes. She was so tired. The sounds were so confusing. Something sounded as beeping, and then there was stirrings, or chirping... What kind of place was that? 

"Linda?" 

_Help me, please_ , her mind screamed. But all she could do was moan. It sounded so loud in her head. There were voices near her, somebody was issuing orders, and wet cloth was put in her eyes. She could feel the wetness in gentle circles around her eyes. 

"Linda, try to open your eyes now. You can do that now." 

If only she really could!... But Linda decided it was worth a try, and so she did. Tentatively, eyelids fluttering, there was light, light so bright she could hardly bear. And all she could see after that were blurs. Nevertheless, there was palpable relief and emotion before her. 

She still could see only blurs, and then she was propped up in the bed. Her whole body seemed numb; she could hardly feel. Cool water was put on her lips, and when she opened them in response, a straw was put there. 

"Linda, try to drink some water. You won't be able to talk otherwise". 

The images were getting clearer. There was a nurse hovering above her face, and Linda turned her attention to the glass of water. She managed to suck a small amount of water, then almost choked. She coughed, and the nurse smiled. "Good reflexes, Linda. Welcome back to us". 

So, she was in a hospital. Again. There were some other people in the room, frantically moving, but she did not recognize any of them. So Linda focused her eyes on the nurse again. 

"Do you feel like talking, Linda?" 

_Yes_. But all she could do was nod. After that, she parted her lips. Nothing came out of them. She was getting so tired. Linda closed her eyes, sighing. The nurse got closer to her and Linda forced it out of her mouth. "B-ben?" 

In seconds, before the nurse could answer anything, Linda was out again. 

*** * ***

Linda opened her eyes once more, and the most gratifying vision came to her blurry eyes. Her heart immediately expanded in sweet pain at the sight of a smiling Benton Fraser by her. She tried to smile. "Hi." 

The Mountie tried not to show his shock as he heard how weak her voice was. He just took her free hand into his. "Hi. I was told you called me. How do you feel?" 

"Tired". She sighed and closed her eyes, but then opened them again. "Ben. Please stay". 

Fraser's heart shrunk at the pain contained in those words. "I am here to stay, Linda. Now rest some more, please". 

Linda was struggling to keep her eyes open, and managed another weak smile. "Yes, Ben." 

Then she closed her eyes, not opening them again. Fraser kissed her forehead gently and let her rest. He felt like a million-ton weight had been taken from his shoulders. Then he raised his head and his eyes met Ray's, and they were glistening with unshed tears. Things seemed to be finally taking a good turn. 

For days, Linda would wake up only for a few minutes. She complained she was weaker than ever. She was taken to several exams, for there were a lot of severe drugs still fighting within her body. Even though her movements were very slow, and she tired easily, not once she complained about being on a hospital. 

Every time Linda woke up, she looked for Fraser, her eyes shining with love for him. The Mountie was there all free time he could, but Inspector Thatcher was quick to point out he had hardly any personal time left for leave. He had practically moved in the hospital. 

"Hello, Ben". Linda was beaming to find him by her side. It was late at night, and even her soft tone of voice sounded loud in the quiet room. 

"How are you?" 

"I still sleep a lot, and my body aches", she complained. "I guess it is because I was out for such a long time". 

Fraser smiled. "We were worried about you. There were times the doctors wouldn't tell us anything". 

"I know you were here most of the time, even though I was unconscious". Fraser blushed and took her hand. Linda tried to sit, but her body did not help at all. Then she blushed. "I want to ask you something, but I am embarrassed." 

"Don't be. You can ask me anything, you know that". 

"Did you sing for me while I was asleep? I think I remember it". 

"Really? I did, at least twice. Do you remember the song?" 

"I guess it was that one about the old cowboy who wants to ride forever and lives in a place called Alberta in a ranch near Devil's Gate. I love this song. You know I love it even more when you sing it". 

"I did not know you could hear that.” 

"I did, Ben", she smiled. "I remember you telling me things. Telling me you and Ray were going away for a few days to follow a lead on the case. Then you came back and you told me the lead was no good." 

Fraser was amazed. "Ray will be very surprised when he hears this." 

"But I remember other things, Ben. I had some strange dreams. Another Mountie came in my dreams, an older one. I recognized the uniform." 

"Really?" Fraser tried to repress the intuition that Linda might have seen his father's ghost and asked, "And what did he do? In the dream, I mean?" 

"I don't remember much. He spoke to me, but I can't recall what he said". Her eyes were beginning to struggle to stay open. "He had blue eyes, like you... He smiled at me, and I remember I liked that". 

"Then it was a good dream, I assume?" 

"Yes", she yawned lightly. "Oh, I am sorry."

"Don't be. You need to rest." 

"I am tired of resting. I want to get well soon." 

"The doctors are working hard for that". Fraser kissed her hand gently. "I am sure you will be home in no time."

"I hope so, too. I miss Diefenbaker a lot." 

"He misses you, too. Ray told me how well he took care of you when I was gone. He grew very fond of you". 

"Dief saved my life, Ben", she said quietly. "I love that wolf". 

Fraser could not meet Linda's eyes, and struggled to say. "I am sorry, Linda. I should never have left that way. I am so sorry". 

"Please, Ben. It is over. Let it be over". 

"But I hurt you so much. I can't forgive myself." 

Linda was really tired, and the words were whispered. "It won't be over until you do, Ben. I have forgiven you. I know you did what you did to protect me. We must get it over with if we are to go on with our lives." 

His eyes were glistening with tears when he looked at her, and saw her eyes almost closed. "I love you, Linda. I am scared to lose you". 

"You won't lose me, Ben. Ever... I love you. More than forever." Then her eyes closed, and she slept, exhausted. 

Fraser kissed her forehead before the tears came down hard. Those few words had reassured him so much that he couldn't help himself, but keep on crying. For the second time, Victoria had almost destroyed his life. This time he would make sure she did not succeed. 

*** * ***

"Ray?" 

Instantly, the Italian detective materialized by her side. They were alone, and it was late at night. Linda smiled at him in the dim light of the street lamps outside, and so did he, the beautiful smile he reserved for the very lucky people. 

"Hi there, girl. Don't you want to sleep some more?" 

"No, thank you, Ray." 

"Are you OK?" 

"I guess. Ray, may I ask you something?" 

"Of course, sweetheart. You know you can ask anything." 

"You have always told me the truth, Ray. You never lied to me. I trust you will not begin to lie to me now." 

Ray could feel this was big. "Linda, what is it?" 

"Ben is not happy, is he? There is something bothering him". 

Ray felt a knot in his stomach. _She is such a smart girl and she can read Benny like an open book_ , he thought. But out lout, his only words were non-committal. "He is worried about you, Linda, that's all. We all are very worried about you." 

"There is something more, Ray. I can feel it". 

"Linda, you are not supposed to be worried about Benny. You are the one who almost died." 

"Ray, I trust you. There is something wrong with Ben, and I can't rest if he is not well. Is Victoria back?" 

"No, thank God, no. Although I would love if she showed up, so I could give her a piece of my mind..." 

Linda admonished him. "Ray, don't change the subject." 

"All right, all right. But I am not changing the subject. Victoria is the reason Benny is so sad. He feels guilty about all that happened to you." 

"Ray, he saved my life. You both saved me. She was going… She said she would…” Linda could not bring herself to say the words. “How can he...?" 

"Linda, that is how Victoria affects him. She always brings out the worst in Benny. I tried to talk to him, but he just clamped up. You know how he gets." 

"He can't do that, Ray. First, it is not true. He is not responsible for what she did. Besides, I need him, Ray. If he is feeling all guilty and upset, he won't be able to help me". Linda blushed, and put her head down. "I am so ashamed to say this. I know it is selfish, and I am aware what I sound like, but that is how I feel...” 

Ray kissed her forehead. "You just gave me a great argument to use on Benny. He won't help himself, but if I tell him you need him, then he might listen.” 

"I will talk to him, too. I wish I could help him more.” 

"You can. Get out of this hospital quick, and he will come around in no time, OK?" 

"OK". She tried to sit up to kiss him, but could not. He leaned in and then hugged her. "I love you, Ray.” 

"And I love you too, kid. Now get some sleep.” 

So Linda did. 


	2. Chapter 2

## Chapter 2

Slowly, Linda learned about everything that happened to her, and the damage that Victoria's drugs had done. The doctors were still unsure about her full recovery, due to the strokes. The MRI and cat scan revealed large areas on the brain still flooded with blood. Those were very dangerous areas, said the doctors, and Linda might be in for some permanent consequences. Still, it was too early to say anything for sure. That thought comforted her and all her visitors. 

This time Linda was in for a lot of them. Even though she still tired easily, she was more than happy to see everyone that came to the hospital, from Vecchios to Donna, her former nurse, who brought her pictures of her little girl Melissa. Linda had a lot of trouble to sit by herself, but she managed to be propped up and stared intensely at the baby's pictures. She tried to hide it, but Fraser could see her emotion. The loss of their baby was still an open wound to Linda, one from which she might never heal. 

Most of the time, however, Linda was not in social function, but with the doctors, and they were filled of questions about her every single improvement. They wanted to know everything she felt. Sometimes there would be five specialists inside her room, and it scared her a bit. 

Then came that really scary day, but not because of many doctors. Actually, Linda was relaxing, with a bunch of Vecchio women as visitors, and Fraser was still in the Consulate. The women were talking and having tea, and Linda felt so warm by their friendship. 

"When you get out of here", said Frannie, sitting on her bed, "I can take you to the place they make these biscuits". 

Linda took another bite. "They are delicious. Are you sure you won't get in trouble for this?" 

Ma Vecchio said. "What? For bringing tea and cookies to you? The doctors know better than to do that." 

Frannie leaned in with a teapot. "Here, Linda, let me pour you some more". 

"Thank you, Frannie. This is nice tea." 

Francesca missed the spot, and then boiling water was all over Linda's legs. Frannie jumped. 

"Oh, Linda, I am so sorry". 

"Here, take the paper towel", said Ma. "Maria, get some more from the bathroom". 

"The nurse will not be happy, Francesca", chided Maria, going inside the little bathroom. 

"I am more worried about Linda than about what the nurse will say", said the youngest Vecchio, using the towel to dry up Linda's legs. "Honey, did you burn yourself? The water was really hot." 

Linda cocked her head and looked at her, expression blank. "Francesca, I can’t feel a thing."

"Thank God it was nothing serious", sighed Maria. 

But Ma Vecchio was staring at Linda, who had a puzzled expression. "Linda, _bambina_... What do you feel?" 

"Nothing, Ma", was Linda's candid answer. "I should be able to feel _something_... shouldn’t I?" 

Suddenly all four women were staring at each other, speechless. Frannie was the first to galvanize into action. "I will call the nurse." 

She went out the room and Ma Vecchio came near Linda, who was beginning to get a little bit scared. "Ma... I can feel something might be wrong... Maybe there is something _very_ wrong..." 

The Italian woman took her hand and caressed it gently. "No, _bambina_. Don't think those things. Let the doctors do their magic". 

A nurse came in and smiled at Linda. "Hi, Linda. Your sister told me you are not feeling well. What is it?" 

"I am not sure". Linda seemed shaken. "I cannot feel my legs". 

The nurse was really nice, because she smiled again in a reassuring way. "OK, let's check it out. Lie down, please". 

Linda slid down in the bed, and had to use both arms to do so. All her body protested, because she was still very sore. Then Mrs. Vecchio rearranged her covers, and the nurse asked. "Ma'am, could you please help me here?" 

Linda tried to raise her head, and watched as the nurse raised her covers from her feet to her waist, leaving her legs exposed. "Linda, this is what we are going to do. You look at the ceiling, and you tell me if you can feel my touch, or what kind of touch, ok?" 

"OK." Linda stared at the ceiling expectantly, and the nurse motioned Mrs. Vecchio and Maria. A few instants passed, Linda waited. The nurse probably was doing something she had to do prior to that test. "I am ready", she said, still staring at the ceiling. "You can begin." 

Mrs. Vecchio suppressed a sob, and Maria held her, but Linda could not see that. The nurse asked. "Can you feel this, Linda?" 

"No." 

"And this?" 

"No". 

Linda thought she heard a noise, like something slapping on flesh. "And that?" 

"I can't feel a thing. Is that bad?" 

The nurse put the covers back over her legs. Linda did not feel it, she just saw. "I will get the doctor now, and I am sure he will be able to answer to all your questions". Then she turned to Mrs. Vecchio and Maria. "Ma'am, please, could you and your daughter come with me for a minute?" 

Before she could avoid it, Linda watched as the Vecchio women were led out, then found she was alone for some minutes, fidgety and anxious. A few minutes after that, she thought it was taking longer than she imagined, staring at the ceiling. She was beginning to be very, very afraid. Linda was feeling alone and closed her eyes, trying not to cry. Why didn't Ma come back? Where did Frannie go? How long would it take for Ben to come? 

"Linda?" The voice of a doctor startled her. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you. Remember me? I am Dr. Wilson."

She stared at him, her brain slowly functioning. "Yes. Yes, I remember you, doctor. You talked to me after that exam in my head, didn't you?" 

"Yes, I was the one. The nurse told me something about your legs". 

"I don't seem to feel anything about them, doctor. I don't think that is a good sign". 

The doctor took her file from the foot of the bed, and glanced through it, as he explained. "We will have to do some more exams. And try to keep that in mind: until we know for sure, this could only be a result of the long time you have been in bed. Do you understand?" 

Scared, Linda tried to blink back the tears as she nodded, and two male nurses went inside her room after a polite knock. They were carrying a gurney. Dr. Wilson explained. "Now they will take you to the exam room for another cat scan. We are lucky it is available now". 

The orderlies transferred her to the gurney and she asked, "Could somebody go with me? I would not like to be alone.'

"Is that your family out there?" Linda nodded, and Dr. Wilson smiled. "I will talk to them now, and they will be waiting for you come out of the exam. Try not to worry, OK?" 

"OK, doctor."

Linda was taken to the exam room, and she just glimpsed at the Vecchio women as they surrounded Dr. Wilson for explanations as to what was happening. Linda's heart was tight, as she entered the exam room. She tried very, very hard not to cry. 

*** * ***

After the exam was made, it seemed to Linda that it had taken forever until she was back in her room. And when she arrived there, Fraser, Ray and Ma were waiting for her. Linda was so tired, and so worried that it seemed an equal struggle to sleep and to stay wake. 

"I was told the results aren't due until tomorrow", she answered Ray. "Dr. Wilson said that it might only be related to the long time I was in a coma."

"Yes, it probably is like that. Remember when it happened last? Your legs did not support you as they should." 

Fraser was sitting on her bed, their hands joined. She could feel his sweaty palms, his nervousness. Linda looked at him and smiled, trying to reassure him. "I feel fine, really."

"Good", said Ma, and she kissed Linda's cheek. "Now you try to rest. I will return on the morning." 

"Thanks, Ma. The tea was quite nice."

"The nurse will be bringing you dinner now, and you eat properly, OK? You are losing weight, and this is not good for recovery." 

"Yes, Ma." 

Ray said. "I will be back, Linda, don't worry". 

Mother and son left, and Fraser kissed her hands. "Are you really OK?" 

"Yes, Ben. Dr. Wilson said it was too early to say anything." She looked at him. "Ben, may I ask you something?" 

"Of course." 

"Is something bothering you? Sometimes you look so... sad." 

"You must not worry about me." 

"Ben, talk to me", Linda asked. "Please, Ben. I need you to." 

"I am sorry." Fraser looked at his lap, his face miserable. "I was hoping... I didn't want... I am sorry." 

Linda extended her arms, but could not get forward, and had to ask. "Please Ben, hold me." 

He obeyed, and she felt safe in his arms. "I needed that", she whispered. 

"I am sorry." Ben's voice was so filled with deep emotions that Linda could feel the struggle within him. "I am so sorry, Linda. Please forgive me." 

"Forgive you for what?" 

"I am... the reason you are here. It is all my fault, Linda, I am so sorry."

"No, Ben. You did not do this to me. It was that woman, and you are not responsible for the things she did." 

"I should have – " 

She never let him finish. "You did what you could and what you deemed was best. You saved my life, and you also saved Ray's life. We are both very grateful to you. Ben, if it wasn't for you, she would have killed me. I could feel it in my bones that she wanted me dead." She shivered in his arms, remembering Victoria's eyes on her, the murderous intent plain on them. She tried to shrug the thought away. "So, I won't have you saying things like, this is all your fault. I don't want to hear it anymore. But I need you to forgive yourself." Linda raised her head and stared into his blue eyes, filled with emotion as they stared into hers. "Can you do that? Can you forgive yourself? Do that for me, Ben?" 

He looked at her, eyes glistening. "I love you so much."

"I love you, too. You have been a source of strength to me. I need you."

She snuggled herself against his chest, curled in his arms. Ben sighed, and caressed her back soothingly. "I am sorry for being so frightened. I thought I had lost you, and this I would not bear. And now this exam..." 

"What about it?" 

"I have to say I am worried", he confessed quietly. "I don't like it, Linda."

"We will just have to wait. Whatever the results are, Ben, remember: this is * _not_ * your fault. Promise me you will remember that." 

"I promise", he said meekly and then he smiled. "Since when you became so smart?" 

Linda blushed and smiled. "I have been around Ma Vecchio a lot lately. She is very smart." 

"I should have known." Ben flashed one of his most prized smiles, and Linda felt herself melting in his arms. For the first time, in many days, she could feel the anguish and agony dissipating from her heart. Held by Ben, feeling him so close to her, listening to his heart, she felt as if she could take arms against a sea of troubles. With Ben by her side, Linda had a sensation she could be stronger than a mighty warrior. 

Little did she know how much she would need that strength. 

*** * ***

When Dr. Lennyard came inside her room followed by Dr. Wilson, Linda knew that things were not good. She was alone in her room, after finishing her afternoon meal. Visitors would not come by until a couple of hours later. 

"Hello, Linda."

"Dr. Lennyard, it is a surprise", she admitted. 

"Dr. Wilson thought it would be best if I was present", explained the psychiatrist. "He was looking for your legal guardian and next of kin."

Linda felt a knot in her stomach. "I take it that the results are back." 

Dr. Wilson nodded. "Yes, and they are quite conclusive, Linda". He stepped closer to her and raised a sheet filled with graphics. "These are the shots from your brain. You have seen some of them before, haven't you?" 

"Yes", she answered. 

"Let me show you.' He took out a pen from his jacket and pointed to a particularly colorful graphic. "This is a picture of your brain. These blue blots are blood irrigated areas, and this blood is from those strokes caused by the drugs injected in you. Now, this area here", he pointed to a point almost totally covered in blue, "controls all movements from your waist down, and it has been flooded with blood. We found that your nerves are not responding to any feelings in your legs, and we must find out why. So far, we have two theories: one, the blood is mechanically blocking all stimuli from your brain to your nerves, or two, the drugs themselves have some substance that chemically prevents your brain from responding to the stimuli. Do you understand what I am telling you so far, Linda?" 

She had almost forgot how to breathe. "I am not sure, doctor. Does this mean I can't walk?" 

Dr. Wilson went a little pale from her simple and blunt question, and yet it was not rude. "Ultimately, yes, Linda", he answered quietly. "I am sorry, but you cannot walk. Let me tell you, however, that at this point nothing indicates that it is permanent. There is a very good chance we can heal you. Do you understand it?" 

Tears were blocking her vision, and she just nodded, her heart crushed. "There is every chance that you can be as good as ever, Linda", continued Dr. Wilson. "However, we don't know when it can be so. Until then, you should be aware that there are going to be some changes. Very extensive changes.” 

Linda was still stricken, weeping in total silent, her head unmoving; her eyes fixed on the graphics Dr. Wilson was showing. Both doctors kept quiet for a moment, and Dr. Lennyard brought her a glass of water. She took it mechanically, not looking at the doctors, not drinking the water either. 

"Linda", Dr. Lennyard's quiet voice broke the silence. "Linda, why don't we talk about it?" 

The girl finally raised her head and looked at him, tears all over her face. "Doctor... How can I give Ben so much more grief? He doesn't deserve it". 

The doctors exchanged looks, and she lowered her head. "I am sorry. It seems I cannot think straight." 

Dr. Wilson said. "It is quite all right, Linda. I know this is very shocking news." 

"I know there are a lot of more things I need to know", she said, trying to regain her composure. "I just don't know... what to ask... or how to feel." 

"Keep in mind that we will be doing all we can to get you on your feet again, literally", stressed Dr. Wilson. "Remember, this is not permanent, and it won't keep you from having a productive life." 

"I will try to keep that in mind, doctor." 

"I know you will have many more questions, and I will stop by to answer them later. Right now, I am sure you have a lot of things to discuss with Dr. Lennyard". 

"OK. Thank you for everything, Dr. Wilson." 

The neurologist left the room and Dr. Lennyard sat on the chair by Linda's bed. He handed her some tissues. "Are you worried about Constable Fraser?" 

Linda wiped her tears and nodded. "Ben is under so much stress. He feels guilty about everything that happened. Victoria is still at large, and he thinks it is his fault, too. Now this... I did not want to give him another blow like that. He will feel guilty for this, too, I know he will." 

Dr. Lennyard eyed her clinically. "You feel guilty, too, don't you?" 

"I must help him. This is not going to help". 

"Linda, listen to me. You are about as guilty as he is. If both of you are going to work this together, you must realize that there is no guilt involved." 

"I tried to tell him that", Linda offered. "But Ben can be so stubborn sometimes". 

The psychiatrist laughed softly. "So can you. But you seem to be more worried about him than yourself. Why is that, Linda?" 

"I love him."

"I know that, but try to tell me more. He is a strong man, and he will go through this. Why are you so worried about him? Maybe you are really worried about you." 

Linda stared at the doctor. She knew that he was right. And she thought hard, for a while. Then she searched her heart. 

"I've never known anybody who made me feel like this," she said softly, "And it frightens me. I've never needed anybody like I need him, and I sometimes think he doesn't need me like that. I am afraid he might leave me." 

"And he has done that once, hasn't he?" 

"He did not want to", offered Linda. "It was not for real."

"But you felt abandoned the same way. Now you need him once more, and you are afraid that he will leave you again."

Linda looked at the doctor, her heart aching at the thought of Ben going away one more time. She would not survive it; she knew in her heart. It was sheer luck that she had survived it once. 

Dr. Lennyard rose from the chair and said. "Maybe you should think about all this some more, Linda. Maybe you should focus on the fact that you are up for a hard time. You will need strength and support, and you have every right to ask for it." 

He squeezed her hand softly in a support gesture, then left the room. Linda was left alone and confused, and tried to sort out her feelings, or what would happen to her from now on. 


	3. Chapter 3

## Chapter 3

Dr. Lennyard came to see Linda once more, less than two hours after he had left. All visitors were kept out as they discussed. This time it was quite productive. They had some practical decisions to make. And they did. 

A bunch of angry Vecchios and a very concerned Fraser greeted the psychiatrist as he left Linda's room. He explained the situation briefly, and explained Linda was still very confused, but she wanted to talk to Fraser. Alone. 

"Ben", she called as he walked in the room. His face betrayed all his deep emotion, as her face betrayed all the pain she was going through. "You talked to Dr. Lennyard?" 

"He told us what the doctor said. Linda, I am so sorry". Ben sat on her bed and took her hands into his. "Look, he said that there is a chance this condition is temporary and we will do everything to put you back on your feet again. I want to help."

"It is nice of you to say so, Ben, because I have to talk to you about this. I must know if you really want to help." 

"Of course I do", he was taken aback. "I don't –" 

Linda didn’t look at him, holding his hands in hers. "Ben, don't get me wrong. I need you to be honest now, and I will not be hurt if you tell me that you can't do this. You have your own life, and I don't have any right to ask you to stop living it, or to live it by my side, in this state I am. But I won't be able to take care of myself and if I don't get help, I will have to go back to the institution. It is simple as _that_. This is why I need to know." 

Fraser asked sharply. "Did Dr. Lennyard tell you this? Did he threaten to take you back to the hospital?" 

She raised her head and guaranteed, "It was not a threat, Ben, just a practical solution. But I told him I was not moving again to the Vecchio home. I know that Mrs. Vecchio will offer it, and there is every chance that Ray will insist on it. But it would not work out. Besides, it would not be fair to Ray's mother, because she is a very good person, but she is old, and I will be a burden on her. But I can't take care of myself, and I will need somebody's help. I am asking if you are willing to be that somebody." 

"Of course I am willing to take care of you", said Ben quietly. "How could you think otherwise?" 

Linda took a deep breath, and her voice was tired. "Ben, I have been thinking. And I know it is not easy. My life has totally changed, and it is going to be a rough ride. I don't doubt that you want to do it, but this is going to be hard. I can't walk, I can't go to the bathroom by myself, I can't take a bath alone, I can't make love. I will require a lot of intensive care, and this care would be more easily provided in a hospital or an institution. Getting it outside of a hospital will demand a lot of preparation." 

"Linda, I love you." Ben was so confused at all the things Linda was saying. His heart was about to break. 

She shook her head, staring at him. "That is not what I am asking, Ben. I know you do and I am so very grateful. I also know that if you say you can't take care of me it does not mean you love me less. But this is a very strong commitment. It would not be right for me to simply assume you would take such a responsibility. So, I understand if you might need some time to think about it before you tell me anything." Linda was getting tired, too, and she sighed, trying not to think about her life without Fraser in it. "Dr. Lennyard told me I still have to be trained to be on a wheelchair, so we have time to take a decision. This is not easy, but it has to be done, Ben."

Fraser got closer to her. His eyes were shining so much Linda thought they would lighten up the whole room. "Linda, I don't need any time to answer you. I will take care of you. I just can't imagine my life without you. I know this will mean a lot of changes in our life. We might need to move from our apartment. I will need to be trained to take care of you, too. It won't be easy, I know. But I will be there for you. You should have known it." 

This time Linda could not hold back the tears. "I could not take it for granted, Ben. I know you love me, but this is too much. I hope you understand why I had to ask." 

He leaned in and kissed her forehead gently. "I do. And I am so proud of you." 

She wiped her tears. "I will need your help right now, though." 

"Now? Do you need anything?" 

"Yes", she said sheepishly. "I need your support to tell Ray and his family I won't be in their house anymore. This won't be easy, you know." 

Fraser smiled. "Yes, I imagine it won't be. But in the end, they will understand, I am sure." 

Linda raised her hand, and Fraser took it to his lips, kissing it gently. "We will need to talk a lot, too", said Linda. "If this is going to work out, we need to be open and honest about everything." 

"Yes. Although I admit I am not good at this." 

"Neither am I. Dr. Lennyard offered to help us. He said he could see us together. As a therapist, I mean." 

"Would you like that?" 

"I am not sure whether it would help that much. Why don't we try for ourselves a while, then see if we need his help?" 

"Good idea", agreed Fraser. "Do you want to rest now?" 

Linda closed her eyes. "I would love to." The she opened them again. "But there are Vecchios out there, I know, and they will not rest until I talk to them. Might as well be now. But I am thirsty. Could you get me some water, please?" 

Fraser laughed quietly as he picked up the glass. "You will need much more than water to calm them down." 

He was more than right. The Vecchios' first reaction was to cry their hearts out, then shout at the doctors, and then finally - as Linda predicted – they offered their home to Linda. It took Fraser and Linda's efforts combined to convince them that moving back to their own apartment was the best choice. They could not, however, escape from Ma Vecchio's offer to help take care of Linda every now and them. As a matter of fact, the offer was very welcome. Linda and Fraser knew they needed all the help they could get. 

Ray seemed devastated. He grabbed Linda's hand and would not let it go. Linda saw those huge green eyes looking at her endlessly, trying to keep the tears from falling. Frannie seemed to be shaken, Ma was obviously very sad, but Ray was the worse. 

"But what are you going to do, _bambina_?" Ma Vecchio was still having a hard time to understand. "Benito has his job, and he won't be able to take care of you all day."

"I may take another job later, but first I need to learn how to move by myself", answered Linda. "Until then, I have to come to the hospital for physical therapy. I will also need a nurse at home while Ben is at work." 

"Nonsense", said Mrs. Vecchio. "I can take care of you. No need to call a stranger." 

"Ma", said Linda gently. "A nurse is really necessary. There will be times when someone must carry me. You can't lift me alone." 

"But how can you afford it?" 

"Dr. Lennyard told me there are agencies with qualified professionals. They are quite affordable." 

Fraser intervened. "Besides, Dr. Wilson insists Linda's condition is only temporary. She will be able to walk again. They just don't know when."

Ray was still holding her hand, and said quietly. "We will be praying for that, Linda." 

"I know, Ray", she smiled. "I am very grateful for that."

"You are family, _bambina_ ", said Ma. "We take care of our own."

That night Linda was exhausted. Strangely, however, she could hardly sleep. All this was so new to her. She had a terrible nightmare, and relived some of the horrors of her life in a particularly nasty dream. Fraser was there, and soothed her when she woke up screaming. As he held her in his arms, he realized there was a long way to go, and they had just started. 

*** * ***

Linda was barely awake when Fraser kissed her goodbye and went to work in the morning after. But she could see the bags under his eyes, and knew he had been crying quietly. She had done the same thing at night, but things changed when morning came. During that awful night, she made a promise to herself – she would not be an extra source of worry to Ben. The situation was bad enough, so she would always be nice and gentle to him, and never, ever, let it show how sad she was. 

After her morning meal, Linda helped the nurse give her the morning hygiene, then she took her medicine and waited for the first of the doctors to come. That was routine, but she knew it was about to change. New routines would be established. 

Actually, the head nurse came first, with some papers. Linda was told she would be having pool therapy and also exercises, but Dr. Wilson would soon be there to work over some other details. The new routine would be established sooner than she thought. 

The door opened after a polite knock. "Good morning, Linda. How are you?" 

She was smiling when Dr. Wilson came in with her chart. "I am fine, sir. The head nurse told me about schedules for therapy. I can't wait to begin." 

"Good. You look motivated, Linda. That is important." 

"I want to know for sure if I really do have a chance to walk again, doctor." 

"We will do everything we can, Linda. But I am here to talk about some bad stuff. Are you up to it?" 

"No point in delaying, I guess. What bad stuff are we talking about?" 

"You know part of your treatment consists on periodical exams to help us monitor all brain, chemical and mechanical improvements of your condition. One of those exams, unfortunately, is quite invasive. It means taking some fluid from your spine to analyze its electrolytes, so we will be able to know if the drugs are still keeping you from walking. Do you understand what I am saying?" 

"Yes, I do. I just don't understand why you called it bad stuff."

"I won't lie to you, Linda. That can be quite painful. It means an incision on your back every time we do that. Normally, it means two days to recover. The test must be done once a week." 

"Every _week?_ " 

"I am afraid so. But this exam will give us heads up on your condition. I will also make sure you get sedated and then be given painkillers." 

"I don't like those. They make me groggy.” 

"Dr. Lennyard told me about that. He said you don't like to take medicine, and I am not very crazy about prescribing it, either, believe me. But this test is really aggressive, Linda. I am sorry.” 

Linda did not like to hear that, but she had been warned that her life would change, and a lot. That sort of things was to be expected. 

"Whatever you say, doctor."

"Good. It means we can move on. Now what about we discuss the chair?" 

"Pardon me?" 

"A wheelchair. You will need one, and I suggest you get your own, rented or bought, instead of using the hospital issued one. You will get used to it faster with your own." 

"Sounds good. But where can I get one?" 

"As I told you before, there are places you can buy or lease one. I can recommend one or two of those. Of course, you can choose any chair you like, but I firmly recommend against a power-driven one." 

"What is the difference from the others?" 

"I mean the ones with a motor, an engine. They are not suitable for your case."

"They sound expensive, too. But why are they not suitable for me?" 

"First of all, that kind of chair is recommended for the elderly and frail patients. That is not your case. Second of all, a chair helps you to build your arm muscles. It is quite a workout, as you will find out. And you will need that." 

"I will?" 

"Believe me. In case your situation improves quickly, and your legs start getting some feeling back, you may be upgraded to crutches. But you won't be able to support yourself if your arm muscles aren't fit for that. Do you understand?" 

"Yes, yes. I also understand that part of my physical therapy will be about that."

"You are right. I believe your will have your first session this afternoon, right before visiting hours. Your friends will be thrilled to know that."

"They most certainly will." Then Linda blushed, and her voice became soft. "Er, Dr. Wilson, could I ask something from you?" 

"Please do. It is important that you feel free to ask anything regarding your condition." 

Linda felt relieved. "Thank you. Could you give Constable Fraser permission to come here anytime of the day? I mean, beyond the visiting hours."

"Why do you ask that, Linda?" 

Her face was a whole shade of darker red and she could not meet the doctor's eyes anymore. "I know he is not family, nor I am his next of kin, so legally there is no reason why he should be allowed here 24 hours a day, but he will take care of me when I get released, so he will need to learn how to take care of me, and.... Well, I am not sure he can do that only in visiting hours. He is a fast learner, but there are so many little details, you know? I think he could need the extra time. Is that possible, Dr. Wilson?" 

The doctor smiled softly. He had read Linda's chart and knew she was in psychiatric care, but she was also very interesting. That young woman had the innocence of a child. It was a very refreshing experience to a doctor used to whining patients and depressed people. Something about her touched his heart, and he felt he owed her at least sincerity. 

"I will talk to the head nurse and to the floor administration as well, Linda. I can't promise you anything, but I will talk to them that it is a procedure that could improve your treatment." 

The smile she gave to him was positively shiny. "Thank you very much, Dr. Wilson. Er, now could I ask you an even more delicate question?" 

"Of course." 

Linda was beet red, and she was vividly staring at her lap. "I... don't know how to ask this... I was wondering if there is something you could tell me about... people in my condition..." 

"What would you like to know, Linda?" 

She could not raise her head, but she pronounced the words clearly, so there would not be any doubt. "Er... About sex. I don't know if I can... do it." 

Dr. Wilson never saw it coming. He was also taken by surprise, but tried to control himself. Linda, of course, noticed his surprise, and flinched out of pure embarrassment. "Well, Linda, I... Frankly, I am not sure if I can help you with this. I mean, about your doubts." 

Linda took a big breath and decided to show him her heart. "Doctor, I know I cannot have a normal life because of my paralysis, but I don't think Ben needs to suffer with this, too. I would like to know if I can be with him in some way that we could both enjoy. Do you understand what I am trying to say?" 

"I think I do, Linda. I understand what you are trying to say. I am not sure if I can answer your question, but I will try, OK?" 

"OK." 

Dr. Wilson began drawing circles in the air as he spoke. "You know that we still don't know for sure about the effects of this drug. We are doing all these tests to determine if the drug is blocking your brain from receiving stimuli or if this drug is intercepting the stimuli from reaching your brain. Do you understand the difference?" 

"Yes, I do. But what has to do with... my question?" 

"Everything, Linda. Orgasm is primarily a brain function. So, your sexual activity may be submitted to the same condition that made you paralyzed. Linda, I am a neurologist. I have had patients that were driven to uncontrollable orgasms due to brain damage. Others had lost all sexual desire. I have seen different cases, different reactions, and each case is unique. Most of the cases are of people who suffered accidents, and they have mechanical impairments that make them unable to feel their legs. Surgery is the best option for them. This is not your case. Your nerves are fine; your spinal connections are in top condition. I insist: you have a good chance of walking again, and feeling your legs again. I guess what I am trying to say is simple. There is every chance you can find ways of pleasuring each other, but I am not the most indicated person to tell you about this. I won't lie to you, and we need to have a frank relationship. So, all I can tell you is this – I don't know if you can feel sexual pleasure as long as you are paralyzed. I am sorry."

Linda got so sad. She had some hopes about making her life as normal as possible. But risking out sex of her life was too much. And it was so unfair to Ben... 

Sensing her distress, Dr. Wilson said, "But that does not mean it is final, Linda. Of course, there is every chance you can walk again, and in that case, I am certain this condition would also revert itself. At any rate, I would recommend you discuss this a little further with Dr. Lennyard. I am sure you both can talk about your feelings on this matter. As your physician, though, I am willing to give you a suggestion." 

"A suggestion?" 

"Yes. Why don't you and your partner talk about it and try it at least once, if you both feel up to it? It even might help your treatment, and I am not talking about the psychological aspect of it." 

For the first time, Linda looked up to him. There were unshed tears in her eyes, and her voice trembled as she asked, "Really? I don't understand." 

"Well, it would be pretty helpful if you pay attention to your body reactions when you... experiment. Sexual activity triggers all sorts of responses in your body, and some of them have no parallel in everyday life. There is also a chance you might feel something, maybe some skin or metabolic reaction. Of course, the both of you would have to discuss it very thoroughly, because of the other bearings involved. Sex is not only a physical activity, and I cannot tell you about your relationship, emotional or psychological aspect or anything like that." 

"I understand, doctor". Linda sniffed and wiped the tears. "I appreciate your sincerity. It means a lot to me." 

The doctor cleared his throat, then said, "Oh, yes, well, I guess we covered it all for now. I will stop by later. I think I should also give several of those warnings to Constable Fraser, if he is going to be your primary caretaker." 

"I will be talking to him soon, doctor. Don't worry, he will ask you everything about it."

Dr. Wilson smiled again. "Good. Now try to rest, because we have a long road ahead of us."

Linda knew the doctor was not kidding. 


	4. Chapter 4

## Chapter 4

Two weeks later, Linda had a totally new life and seemed to be eager for release. She could spin the wheelchair really fast around the hospital, and she often asked to go by herself to the therapy pool. However, she could not lift herself from the bed to the wheelchair by herself. Dr. Lennyard indicated she might be able to go home in a few more days. 

Fraser was also trained to bathe Linda and to change the catheter that now cared for her necessities. He received special authorization to be with Linda out of visiting hours. During this time, he realized that ever since Linda was told of her new condition (temporary paralysis, as Dr. Wilson insisted on saying) she did not once complain. She also never showed a sad face, though some of the exercises were very hard and painful. 

Ray saw Linda go through some tough exams. Once a week she had to pull out some spinal fluid, and it would set her back for a while, for she would be unable to do anything but lie down for at least the next two days. Even then, she would not complain. But there were other exams that required her to be immobile, and they were performed then. Dr. Wilson said she was doing just fine, but she still could not feel a thing from the waist down. 

Still, Linda seemed to always be in good spirits. She smiled and laughed, and seemed very happy with everyone that went to see her. She talked about the paralysis without a hint of depression, and surprised everyone who thought she would be bitter about it. Her reactions delighted Fraser. 

"Now I have requested permission from the building's superintendent to put some boards on the front stairs or some sort of ramp for the wheelchair", said Fraser, and he seemed excited. "He said he would rather change the building than to lose us as tenants." 

"Oh, that was very kind of him. And did he agree to put the boards?" 

"He said he will give me the answer tomorrow, but I am expecting it is yes. That way, we can take the chair to the park." 

Linda smiled again. "I would love that. I can't wait to get home, Ben."

"Dief is counting the days", he guaranteed. "He misses you so much." 

"I miss him so much, too." 

A soft knock on the door interrupted their dialogue, and Fraser opened the door. He was surprised to see the visitor. 

"Inspector."

"Good evening, Fraser. May I come in?" 

As Fraser stepped aside to let his superior come inside the room with a bouquet of flowers, Linda smiled. "Meg, how nice of you to come." 

"These are for you", she offered the flowers. "It is from all of us in the Consulate."

"You shouldn't have bothered. Please, please, sit down."

Meg Thatcher crossed the bedroom discretely eyeing the wheelchair at the other side of the bed. She armed herself with her most diplomatic smile and said, "I was told you are improving a lot, and may be released soon." 

"That is true", chatted Linda. "I am really anxious to get home. There will be so many new things for me, and I have to get used to them pretty fast." 

"I am glad you look so good. After all you have been through, you sure seem very lively." 

"Thank you, Meg. It is very sweet of you." 

"I am sorry I could not come earlier. But I was always posted about your condition. Matter of fact, Turnbull keeps pestering me about it." 

"Yes, Ben told me. He said even Orwitz has asked about my health. Please make sure all staff receives my gratitude. It really means a lot to me." 

"Linda, forgive me for my bluntness, but I must say this to you and Fraser. If there is anything you two need, or if there is anything in my power to help, please let me know. Not only in a working capacity, but also as a friend." 

Linda was really touched. She knew Meg was not the emotional type, and for the cool professional Mountie to say those words, they really must have been true. She looked at Ben, and he was also very touched by those words. Linda smiled, "Meg, this is very nice. I don't even have words to thank you." 

"Inspector", said Fraser. "I appreciate it deeply."

The woman's dark eyes were sparkling. "I have considered myself a friend of yours and Linda's, Fraser. And this is what friends do for each other. I also want you to know that I will change the leasing contract of the Consulate's car, to some model that can fit a wheelchair." 

Fraser was overwhelmed. "We can't accept this, Inspector." 

Meg Thatcher held one hand up to prevent him from talking any further. "No discussion on this, Fraser. It is a perfectly acceptable administrative decision. The diplomatic car must also suit the needs of my deputy liaison officer and his family." 

Linda blushed furiously to be called Fraser’s family. First the Vecchios, now this... It was all so touching. She felt tears forming in her eyes, and realized that she needed to express her needs from now on. So many new experiences... 

"Meg, please let me hug you."

The Mountie lady stood up, and the girl held her firmly in her arms. "Thank you, Meg. This means much more than I can say." 

Meg looked at Linda and smiled – a true smile, not a professional one, but one that made her whole face shine, her eyes sparkling. Fraser realized his boss had her heart singing at that precise moment. It was so rare and so beautiful he almost felt ashamed of being in the presence of such a secret. The Dragon Lady was offering friendship. After the mutual attraction they felt for a brief time, Fraser had always secretly feared his superior would treat Linda badly. That was not to happen. 

*** * ***

With a happy "Get well soon" balloon in his hand, Ray was sort of surprised to find Linda alone that evening. "Hey gorgeous, got you a new balloon", he kissed her forehead and put the gift by the bed. "You all alone?" 

Linda tried to sit up, and grimaced a little. "Ben will be back soon." 

"How do you feel?" 

"I am better Ray, thank you". Linda had taken the spinal fluid exam the day before, and the recovery was slow and painful. "I am glad you are here. I thought you might be on a stakeout." 

Ray sat and avoided her green eyes, making an effort to smile. "Thank God I am not."

Linda looked at him carefully. "Lt. Welsh must have found new help, then. Last time he was here; he was complaining of being short-staffed. But if you are here every other night, it means things are settled." 

Ray shifted in the chair, and shrugged. "Well, we always manage. You know how things can go crazy in the precinct." 

Not even his smile could make her change the subject. "Ray, are you trying to lie to me?" 

Green Italian eyes grew wider at her, and he saw he could not get away with anything. Ray turned to her, feeling almost annoyed and defeated, because he had been caught. "Sheesh. How do you do that? You learned that from Fraser, right? It's freaky, Linda: you are not a Mountie, but you've got the big-eyed Mountie look just the same!" 

At that exact moment, Fraser came inside the room, and was greeted by strange looks. There was an eerie silence. He immediately felt the tension in the room. 

"Hello, Ray."

Ray looked at Linda, and she kept quiet, blushing a little. "Hi, Benny." 

Fraser then looked back at Ray and asked. "Is everything all right?" 

Ray exchanged more looks with Linda and finally, the Italian answered, without the least enthusiasm. "Everything is peachy, Benny. I am fine." 

Fraser waited a few seconds, and neither of them said anything. The Canadian tried again. "Well, if you don't mind my saying so, you don't look so fine, Ray."

At that point, Ray and Linda tried to speak at the same time, then stopped. Fraser felt like they were two little kids, trying to hide some bad deed. Linda was the one who tried for the second time. "Actually, Ben, I don't think everything is fine." 

Fraser realized that Ray was blushing, and he hardly did that. But the detective neither ventured to answer anything or explain Linda's words. So, she went on. "Ray, my condition is temporary. I was hoping that you would remember that. But it seems neither you or Ben have paid much attention to this fact." 

Both shot her questioning looks, so she proceeded. "I don't want neither of you giving up your life to cluck me like some mother hen, OK? I appreciate your taking time to visit me at the hospital, and everything, but if you need to be on a stakeout, or if you two just want to spend some time together, I want you to do that. More than that: I _need_ you to do that. I need to feel that my life will be the same again. Do you understand?" 

Fraser was the first to speak. "Linda, I don't know what to say. Actually, I am not sure I understand what you are saying. What happened here?" 

Ray sighed. "She noticed I have been ditching the stakeouts to be with her. I couldn't tell her that Welsh refuses to put me on the rooster, though. He asks about you every day, too." 

"I have always known Lt. Welsh to be a very nice person, too, Ray. But I need you two to be doing things that you two do. Ben, lately you have not done anything in your life but take care of me. I appreciate it, of course, but I know how much you need to be involved in some police work, the way Ray helps you. Even if it is not work, you guys should be out to watch a football game, get a hockey game, go to a pool bar or something." 

Ben said, "But I want to be with you."

"I want you to be happy, Ben. I don't want you to be with me out of duty. Besides, I need that, Ben. If you don't get happy, I may get so sad and give up the fight. Give me something to fight for, that is all I ask, please." 

Ray jumped in. "Linda, sometimes you will feel sad, or even angry. It is normal in a situation like yours. Even I am feeling angry at what happened to you." 

"But I can't get angry, Ray", said Linda quietly. "If I do, I lose my focus and I need all my energy to fight this thing. I am asking both of you to help me." 

"Of course we will", said Ray, as Fraser quietly rubbed his thumb in his eyebrow. 

Linda saw the Mountie's distress and called him. "Ben, please, come here." 

He sat on the bed and she gently picked up his hand. "Ben, I love you so much. I am so grateful for everything you are doing. I am not angry or disappointed in you. I know this must be as hard for you as it is for me. But I would not bear to see you sacrifice yourself even more because of me, Ben. I don't want you to take care of me, or be with me just because it is the noble thing to do, or because you feel guilty. I told you this that day the doctors told me I was paralyzed. I meant it then, and I mean it now. We made a deal, Benton Fraser, and I am just trying to see if you keep up your part of the bargain, OK?" 

Fraser watched her eyes shining, and the corner of her lips curling in a smile. The tension he had been feeling immediately dissolved, and he kissed her fingers tenderly. "All right. I will keep my end of the bargain." 

Linda turned her head. "Do we have a deal too, Ray?" 

Ray smiled. "You cut tough deals, Linda. A real Chicagoan." 

"No, Ray, I just want you to make me see that my condition is temporary. I don't want to form habits that could prevent me from ever walking again. Besides, I don't want you two to give up anything because of me. I consider this a very important point." 

"Such a tough kid", smiled Ray. "I always knew you were a fighter." 

She smiled tenderly at the two men she loved most in the world, and shook her head, trying to dismiss tears that were threatening to form in her eyes. "All right. Now tell me more about the district. I don't want to be the last one to hear about the news when I get out of here."

After that, she began to listen to Ray's passionate exposition about his workplace, one she knew so well and had so many friends. 

That was a busy night in the hospital. Linda was not sleepy anyway, but she could see Fraser tossing each time a nurse came inside to take her temperature or give her painkillers due to that stressful spinal fluid exam. Half an hour later, he sat up and looked at her even in the darkened room. Linda sighed. "Ben, you should get some sleep." 

He smirked. "I should say the same." 

"I can't sleep". She tried to turn around to face him, and winced at the pain in her back. "But you have to work in the morning." 

"Don't worry about me." He got up and held her hand to his face. "You need to recover."

Linda tried to sit up, but the pain made her give up the attempt. "Actually, Ben, I am worried about you." 

"No, Linda, please." Fraser kissed her fingers tenderly. 

"I talked to Dr. Wilson about something that has been bothering me, and he said I should talk to you about it." 

"What is it, my love?" 

Linda smiled at the endearment, and held her resolution. "You know I love you very much, and I don't want my situation to make you give up anything. I couldn't bear it, Ben. So, I asked Dr. Wilson about how people like me deal with... sex." 

Fraser was still holding her hand to his face, so she could feel his skin getting hot as he blushed. He cleared his throat. "He said we should talk about it?" 

Linda nodded, also turning red in the face. "Dr. Wilson also said my case is quite different from the ones he usually treats, but each case is different from another. He indicated that couples in our situation often find ways to... pleasure one another." She stared into his blue eyes, now almost grey in the dark. "I think we should try it, Ben." 

He felt a blow in his stomach when Linda said that. The matter clearly had not been in his foremost preoccupations, although it had come across his mind in one occasion. Before Linda, he could pass through long periods of celibacy. As a matter of fact, he did. But now, having her so close was really temptation. Only her illness could cool his passion. 

"Linda, maybe we should take it easy. You should first concentrate in getting better." 

She smiled. "You are very diplomatic, Ben. But I know us. We are very fond of sex, and there is no denying. My guess is that you may feel ashamed of it, even scared, because of my condition. I told you I wouldn't have that. We will work it out." 

Fraser kissed her hand, relieved to no end. "I love you." 

"I love you, too." It was Linda's turn to blush. "I also want you. Maybe we should talk some more about it." 

"I don't want to rush you into doing anything you don't want just because you think I might like." 

"Then we may talk some more, and I will tell you whenever I am ready. Will you tell me when you are ready?" 

"Yes. We will talk, then." 

"Of course. But not now. I still have plans to see you sleeping sometime soon." 

He smiled at her and brushed his lips against hers tenderly. "OK. I will try to sleep then." 

He kissed her again. "Good night." 

"Good night, Ben." 


	5. Chapter 5

## Chapter 5

Too bad Linda had to take the spinal fluid in the same Friday she went home. A big party was being prepared, but the whole thing had to be called off since Linda would not be able to move much for a couple of days. Diefenbaker, however, provided a great reception (wolf-style, of course), and Linda had him in her bed practically the whole day, as Vecchios flowed in and out. 

There was a surprise gift waiting for her at the apartment. After endless nagging from Ray, Fraser had finally bought a telephone. The Mountie was convinced that it would be the only way he could be away from Linda during the day. This reasoning was much more persuasive to him than his friend's very vocal arguing. The phone was located in the kitchen, but there was an extension at the also brand-new nightstand by the side of their bed. 

Linda found flowers in her front window, a courtesy from Mrs. Mutchnik. The painkillers were really making her drowsy, and she apologized to Fraser. He didn't accept those apologies and they settled for the new routine that would begin Monday morning. Actually, Linda's new life began on Saturday, when the nurse arrived to meet Linda. The girl was still recovering from the spinal fluid exam, but she found Jenny Hammet a very nice lady: 35 years old, sweet and gentle as any nurse should be. Their first contact was very reassuring, and Fraser felt another tension knot slowly melting from his muscles. 

"Diefenbaker is staying", said Fraser, as he was getting ready to work Monday morning. 

"That won't be necessary, Ben", said Linda, sitting in bed and watching Fraser putting on all the Mountie paraphernalia. "I can stay on my own for half an hour. And Dief needs to walk anyway. He was all over me the whole weekend." 

Fraser seemed very embarrassed. "Actually, Linda, he doesn't want to come with me. You know how he gets when he makes up his mind. I couldn't get him to come with me even if the Queen herself was on the Consulate. Sometimes he can be very insolent, you know."

Linda tried not to laugh, but could not help herself. "I remember you saying something like pay, pay, pay." 

It was Fraser's turn to smile. "Well, yes. But I have to go now, because Ray won't be able to pick me up. You will be OK, right?" 

"Don't have anything to worry, Ben. Jenny will be here at 8:30, and now Dief can keep me company until then." 

"OK. I am going, then.” 

He didn't move, and just stared at her, longing eyes. He clearly was unsure about leaving. Linda smiled tenderly, feeling secure and cared for. "Ben, you can go in peace. We have a phone now, remember? It is right here, by my side. I can call you, or Ray, or Dr. Lennyard, even the police and the fire department, if anything happens. I will be fine." 

Fraser let his head hang, then tried to smile nervously. Linda found that adorable. "You are absolutely right. As always". He sat on the bed to kiss her gently, and she tasted the mint tea in his lips. "I will come home as soon as I can."

"Don't forget to tell Meg and Turnbull and Orwitz I said hi". 

"I will. Take care, OK?" 

"Try not to worry too much." 

Fraser stood up, picked up the Stetson and gave her one of his most prized smiles. She blew him a kiss and Dief woofed quietly, as he decided to leave before he changed his mind. Fraser was worried, and insecure, but Linda needed to know he had confidence in her and in the new nurse. He later realized it was not too much to qualify that as one of the single most difficult acts he had ever done. 

Linda craned her neck, trying to see the Stetson from her window. She could not see it, but she did not mind. She was proud that Fraser could trust her so much, never mind Diefenbaker's presence. Too bad she could not even get out of bed, or make a lot of movements. Although her arms were getting stronger every day, her lower abdomen was also totally numb, and that was very restrictive to her moving around. It was frustrating, but she learned to live with that. Instead, Linda wanted to believe that her new learning phase was starting at that moment, and she was lucky to have it. 

Suddenly Diefenbaker stood in attention, and Linda heard the front door opening and a cheerful greeting. "Hello." 

Linda recognized the voice. "I’m in here, Jenny."

The nurse came in, smiling. "Good morning, Linda. How are you feeling today?" 

"I am better than the last time you saw me, thank you." 

"Good, because we have physical exercises today, and I would not like to do that if you were feeling bad. Have you had breakfast?" 

"Actually, no, but Ben left everything in the kitchen." 

"I see that he has left already." 

"Yes, he could not stay longer." 

"Well, then why don't we change your catheter bag, and after that we can eat and spin around in the wheelchair, what do you say?" 

Linda smiled. Jenny was so nice, and had such a wonderful way to talk and smile. She was also strong enough to pick Linda up and help her with the exercises. Linda felt she was cared for and safe. As a matter of fact, with the guidance from Dr. Wilson, Dr. Lennyard and Fraser, Jenny had Linda's week already planned. 

"Once a week, the hospital will send a van to pick you up and you will be there the whole day. Dr. Lennyard wants to see you, and then there is pool therapy. After that, there is the spinal fluid exam. Then you get a two-day vacation. Isn't that nice?" 

"Sounds good. I just wished there was something I could do after the fluid exam." 

"Well, we can always use the chair and go outside, if you'd like. Enjoy the weather if we have a chance. You know, winter is almost over." 

"I would like that, but sometimes I get a little feverish, too." 

"Then we will have to see about that." She looked at Diefenbaker. "The dog seems very possessive." 

"Diefenbaker has not seen me for a long time. He missed me." 

"He is very cute". Dief shot Jenny his best "they-starve-me-to-death" look. It worked. "Would you like me feed him, too?" 

That was enough to produce a glow in amber eyes, and Jenny had found an instant friend. Linda, though, quickly reminded. "No, Ben does that every night. But I am sure Dief would appreciate fresh water." Linda had to suppress a smile when Dief sighed loudly, and rested his head between his paws looking defeated. No jelly doughnuts from that one. Well, the world could not be perfect all the time. At least the woman was back. 

Both women went through their new routine, adjusting to each other quite openly. After some exercises, Jenny bathed Linda, then made her a snack. She would be having dinner with Fraser and Ray later. 

They weren't quite done eating, and Frannie arrived, bringing Ma, Maria and Tony. It seemed the dinner plans were changed for a full meal with the whole clan, and Linda was dismissed from helping. The Vecchios were busy in the kitchen, and Jenny was relieved that she would not have to leave Linda alone until Fraser arrived. When he did, he seemed as surprised as Linda was at the Vecchio invasion. Ray just shook his head, knowing full well that there was nothing, act of God or force of nature included, that was capable of stopping Vecchios in action. 

The night was filled with laughter, food and love. In the midst of confusion and chaos of an Italian family in motion, Fraser looked at Linda, and she seemed a little bit tired, but happy. She was smiling at everyone, turning around in the chair, politely refusing the second helpings Ma insisted she should have. Diefenbaker was ecstatic, and he excelled at his best "I am a starving wolf" look. The scene gave the Mountie a strong feeling of relief and security. Linda and he were indeed loved as family, in the best and in the worst times. No money in the world could pay that. 

Their new life had begun well. 

*** * ***

Weeks later, Linda did not wake up as usual when Fraser raised at the crack of dawn. He actually did not find that unusual – the last session of spinal fluid taking was fairly difficult, and she went to sleep very early the night before. She needed the rest. 

When the Mountie was ready to leave, he came in the bedroom and Linda was still unmoving. Dief was by her side, and whined softly. Fraser sat on the bed, and she stirred slowly. "Hi," greeted Fraser to her sleepy face. "Don't you want breakfast?" 

"Hmmm? Already?" Her voice was so cracked as she tried to rise, for a fleeting moment forgetting that she was unable to do that on her own. "Oh, I feel so tired."

Fraser propped her up a little, then noticed she was warmer than usual. "Do you feel unwell?" 

"I am thirsty", she admitted. "Are you going to work now?" 

He picked up a glass of water and helped her drink, as he confessed. "I am not sure I am going anymore. You don't look good." 

Linda tried to smile as she handed him the glass. "I always look like this when I do those sessions, Ben. You know that." 

"You look feverish, Linda. Maybe I should call Dr. Wilson." 

"I think you are exaggerating. But I could use a little more sleep." 

"Would you like to lie down again?" 

"Yes, please. On my side, now, so my back won't hurt." 

Fraser gently picked her up and put her into a comfortable position, then covered her. "Is that all right?" 

"Perfect, Ben, thank you." 

"You just rest, and I will take care of everything". 

Linda sighed and was almost half-asleep when she said, "Love you, Ben." 

He kissed her forehead gently, then frowned at the warm skin. It did not look good. Actually, it has not been looking any good for some time, and the Mountie thought it was about time he did something about it. He picked up the phone with a determination typical of Frasers with a mission. 

*** * ***

After warning the Consulate he would be a little late, and leaving Linda with Jenny, Fraser marched to the hospital to talk to Dr. Wilson. Linda had a mild fever, but her condition in all was not good. The Mountie was getting slightly impatient and upset about the treatment, and it was time to get vocal about it. Dr. Wilson's reaction was much expected. 

"Of course, Constable, if you feel you need a second opinion, please feel free to ask for it. I can recommend several specialists on the field. But I must remind you: you have been warned that the treatment would not be easy, and that it could take long." 

Fraser cleared his throat. "Doctor, I am not dissatisfied with you either personally nor professionally. I am just seeing Linda not getting any better. Now she is suffering." 

"I understand, Constable, believe me, I do. I don't feel any resentment because of your words. In fact, I encourage you to see other specialists. As I said before, I would be more than happy to give you names of excellent professionals in the whole Chicago area, or perhaps in New York City if – " 

Fraser interrupted. "Frankly, sir, I would appreciate it if you could recommend some specialists in Ottawa or Toronto." 

"Canada? Why move her so far away?" 

"I am afraid RCMP medical insurance requires Canadian specialists." 

"But Linda has her own medical insurance. And she is not on the RCMP." 

"But I am. And she will be entitled to the same medical insurance once she becomes my wife." 

Dr. Wilson was taken aback. "I was not aware you two were planning to get married so soon." 

Fraser set his jaw in determination. "With all due respect, sir, if that is what it takes to get her better medical treatment, I could marry her tomorrow". 

The doctor eyed him carefully, then smiled, his eyes getting softer. "I can see that, Constable. And frankly, I am glad to see someone so concerned about my patient. But you realize that you need to talk about that with Dr. Lennyard, don't you?" 

"Yes, sir, and that is what I am going to do the minute we terminate this conversation."

"OK, do it now." Dr. Wilson was smiling at the young man's determination. "Then come back here, so I can give you names and telephone numbers."

"Thank you kindly."

Fraser never returned to Dr. Wilson that day. He and Dr. Lennyard had a long and tense conversation, because Fraser's determination to give Linda a better treatment ended in a very familiar discussion about Linda's legal guardianship. That had always been a sore point between the two men, and it showed no sign of alleviating. 

Once again, Dr. Lennyard was very upset at Fraser's proposal to marry Linda and take her to Canada. In the end, they reached a compromise. Linda would give the final word, and Fraser would talk to her later in the evening, when he went home. Then, if need should be, the couple could set up an arrangement with Dr. Lennyard. They would need the doctor's help – after all, Linda did not even have a passport. 

With all those things in mind, the Canadian went to the Consulate. Inspector Thatcher made it clear that, even though she was sympathetic to the situation, Fraser had no more accumulated leave. She was sorry, but he could not take the day off, and he would have to make extra time to compensate for the hours he had been absent. Stoically, as usual, Fraser accepted that, and began to make calls to Canada before he resumed filing. 

"Canadian Consulate, Constable Fraser speaking." 

The voice on the end of the line was from afar. "Ben?" 

Fraser's face opened in a smile. "Eric! I did not expect your call so soon. I just called a few hours ago". 

The Inuit man explained. "I came to town today to pick up my mail before I resume hunting. You were lucky." 

"In more ways than one. Eric, I need your help. Is the tribe's shaman available?" 

"You sick?" 

"No, not me. But I have a very sick person living with me, and I believe the shaman might help her a lot."

"I can talk to the old man, see if he is free." 

"I would appreciate it, Eric. Frankly, I am getting worried. She is a little confused right now, and I think she could benefit from a healing treatment in the traditional ways. The problem is I can't take her to the tribe." 

"That won't be a problem. My nephew David and a friend of his are planning on a trip to the States. They could help." 

"I would be very grateful, Eric." 

"No problem, Ben. Take care." 

*** * ***

Linda was smiling when Fraser got home that evening. She made it a point to greet him with a happy face, even though her back hurt and she was feeling the room spinning. But he had left so worried in the morning that she did not want to upset him anymore. Linda even convinced Jenny not to say a word about the fever or her sick feeling. So, she had given up the wheelchair and stayed in bed all day, but the feeling did not subside. 

"Hi, Ben. How was your day?" 

Fraser kissed her and sat on the bed, patting Dief away. "It was very busy. I got news."

"Really?" 

"I have an idea." 

She tried to smile, intrigued. "Ben, what are you up to?" 

Fraser took her hands into his and looked into startlingly green eyes that were locked on his. His stomach was doing flip-flops, but he managed to say. "I think we should get married at once." 

The green eyes widened and Linda parted her lips, surprised. "Ben..." 

He offered, now more daring, her hands twisting under his nervous ones. "If we get married, then you would be entitled to RCMP medical insurance. It would mean getting medical treatment in Canada, and that probably would be the end of those horrible spinal fluid taking sessions." 

Linda drew her head down, and felt her hands suddenly trembling under his. How could she say what she had to say? There was a hole in her heart, and she felt almost a physical pain. _Oh please, God, help me_. 

Fraser's heart fell to his feet. She was not smiling anymore. Actually, she was shaking. Blue eyes searched for the green ones, but they were cast down. Fraser began to panic at the thought of causing her such distress. _What have I done? I_ hurt _her. That was the wrong thing to say_ _. How can I fix this now?_ "Linda? My love, what's wrong?" 

Linda raised her eyes to look at him and there were tears in them. She gently put the palm of one hand in his cheek, the other still in his hands. "Oh, Ben... I love you so much... But I can't accept that." 

"Linda, why?" 

Tears were already streaming down her cheeks, her heart so tight inside her chest she thought it would crunch away into nothingness. "It would not be right, Ben. I want to marry you because I love you, not because of some medical insurance, or some better chance to be treated in Canada. Ben, I also want to marry you in my own two feet. I am so sorry. Please forgive me. I love you, but I cannot marry you like this. Forgive me, please. Please, Ben, forgive me." 

Linda was crying so much she could not say anything else. He pulled her to him, and nestled her in his arms as she cried. He was also in tears, and strangely he understood her motivations. So he stroked her hair gently, and shooed her. "It is fine, Linda, just fine. Don't worry about it". 

"I am so sorry, Ben, so sorry. I wanted to be stronger. You deserve someone stronger." 

"No, it is just fine. You don't have to be anything, and there is nothing I deserve more than you. Don't worry about it, OK? We won't talk about it again until you are on your feet." 

She looked at him, her nose red and her eyes swollen. "Are you mad at me?" 

It was not easy, but Ben smiled. "Of course I am not mad at you. I understand what you are saying, I really do." 

"Oh, Ben, I am so sorry." Linda rested her head on his chest, her hair tangling on golden buttons and Sam Browne belt. "I really am". 

"Yes, so am I", he said, a lighter tone in his voice. "That is the second time I ask you to marry me, and you turn me down". 

She couldn't resist looking up to see his face, and found the amused gleam on his eyes so reassuring, as well as his hands wiping the tears from her face, as he gave her one of his sweetest smiles. "I love you. I will wait for you". Suddenly Fraser had an inspiration, eyes sparkling. "Don't go away". 

Linda knew he did not mean his words, so she just watched, truly intrigued, as Fraser went to the closet. From the pocket of his Sam Browne belt, the Mountie produced a blue velvet tiny box. Linda felt her heart speeding up as he approached the bed, thoroughly embarrassed. "I was waiting to give this to you properly," he explained. "Now seems the best time." 

Linda tried to say, "Ben – please, I –" 

He put his fingers on her lips, gently silencing her. "You know what is there in this box. The doctors took this ring from your finger when you were taken to the ICU, when they still did not know if you were going to... survive." His eyes filled with tears. "It was the only thing I had to hang on and think of you all those weeks. I promised myself that the next time you put that on your finger I would do it. I would give it to you." 

Linda suppressed a sob as Fraser's fingers travelled to her cheek, wiping the tears away. "I was hoping it could be when you agreed to marry me, but it seems you are not willing to do that sometime soon, so..." Linda could smile through her tears when she glimpsed the twinkle of jest in his blue eyes. Then he looked at her hand and took the ring from the box. "So this is not officially an engagement, but still... I would be very honored if you would wear this ring." 

Not without effort, Linda swallowed the tears and struggled to find the voice. "The only one honored will be me, Ben..." 

Tenderly, as only he could be sometimes, Fraser slipped the ring in her delicate finger and searched for the green eyes once more. He found so much love and devotion he thought he would melt right there. 

Then they kissed, and then they fell in bed, Linda grimacing in silence because of the pain in the back. That night they cuddled. Linda did not sleep right away. Her fever kept her awake, and she decided that there had come the time to talk about a long-avoided subject. When she got better, she would do it, she decided. 


	6. Chapter 6

## Chapter 6

This time he decided to control himself. Fraser did not cease to be amazed to find out how he lacked control whenever Linda was involved. Even though he promised her, it was getting hard to keep the promise. Mainly because of the news Ray brought him. 

When they arrived at Fraser's apartment, Mrs. Mutchnik was teaching Linda how to knit. Linda thought that learning handcrafts would help her pass the time, and the idea of making clothes to Fraser was extremely appealing. However, since Linda had taken that awful exam in the day before, none of them thought she would be up to staying so long in the wheelchair. The minute Ray and Fraser walked in, Linda beamed. 

"What a scene", said Ray with one of his prized smiles. "Two beauties together. Benny, we are such lucky men to have them waiting for us like this". 

"Oh, you are always so flattering, Detective", said Mrs. Mutchnik, trying her best not to blush. "If only I were 50 years younger..." 

"Then I would be very sorry, because poor Mr. Mutchnik would not stand a chance." 

The old woman actually blushed. "Oh, boys…!" 

Linda was very amused by their exchange. "Hi, Ben. Hello, Ray". 

Fraser took his tunic out and said, "Mrs, Mutchnik, we brought dinner, and we hope you are staying." 

"Yes, please", added Linda. 

"You are very sweet, both of you. But Oscar says he won't eat until I get home. And then he wants to watch that wonderful show about that young man who has a cat and a newspaper. It is filmed here in Chicago; you know?" 

Ray shrugged. "Yes, go figure that, Mrs. Mutchnik." 

The old lady was grabbing her bags and stuff. "I am going now. You kids enjoy your meal and have fun. Linda, you can keep that woolen yarn. Later I will show you the secret to a good mitten, my dear."

"I am looking forward to it, Mrs. Mutchnik. Thank you so much for your company."

"One of these days you will call me Edna as I ask you so much. Well, now I must go. But should you need anything, please knock on my door." 

"Thanks again. Bye." 

Fraser escorted the old lady to her apartment, and Linda sighed. "She is such a lovely lady." 

Ray said, "Yes, and she probably adopted you, too, just like Ma. You and Benny have that effect on little old ladies, I guess." He kissed her front and asked. "How are you feeling today?" 

"Better. The fever broke down in the afternoon, and I feel good enough to sit." 

"That is so good", said Ray. "It means you are getting better. What did the exam say?" 

"Results are only Monday. But Dr. Wilson says my response is very promising." 

Fraser came back and shut the door. "Yes, indeed. You look very good." 

He bent to brush his lips on hers, and Linda knew instantly there something was amiss. "I am glad you are feeling so good, Linda." 

She looked at him attentively. "Ben, what is wrong?" 

There was the slightest hesitation, unnoticed to those who did not know him well, and Fraser looked away. Then Linda turned to Ray, and there were widened green eyes trying to avoid her stare. 

"Ray?" 

"Yes, sweetie?" 

"Do I really have to ask? You two are trying to hide something from me, and both are lousy liars." 

Ray threw his arms up, exasperated. "I don't believe this. How can she always do that? I swear it, Benny, she is psychic." 

"Actually, Ray, I don't think there has been any indication of supernatural powers involved, although it is quite alarming that - " 

Linda kept her voice down. "It is not working, guys. I have posed a question, and I expect an answer. Please." 

Both became silent, looking chastised. Ben was the first to speak. "Linda, we just didn't want to worry you." 

"Sorry to break this to you, Ben, but you see, I am already worried. Can you _please_ tell me what is going on here?" 

"Ray has received a tip. Somebody might be watching you." 

"Watching me?" 

"Yes", confirmed the Italian. "That mobster family who sheltered Victoria has been sending snoops around in the streets. The word that your name might still be out for a hit attracted one of my snitches. He told me a name of one the involved, a name I didn't like to hear". 

Linda drew a breath she did not notice she had been holding. Then very carefully she asked, "Do you know the name, Ray? I mean, did you recognize it?" 

"I do not know the guy, only his fame. He is bad news, Linda." 

"Do you believe he or the mobsters are out to get me?" 

"I don't know. But there is a chance they might be following you." 

"Why would they do that?" 

"They might think Victoria gave you information about them. They might want revenge for driving Victoria away. They might have been conned by her. Or maybe it's nothing, Linda, I don't know." 

Linda smiled. "Then relax, Ray. I think you are over-reacting. I don't think there is a reason they could be after me. Besides, even if they were, things are different now. I mean, I am never alone, so they cannot really reach me without being spotted." 

"Linda, just because we can't figure out their reason does not mean they don't have one." 

She thought for a moment. "Yes, yes, Ray, you are right. But until then, I don't think we have reason to worry." 

"I hope you are right. Anyway, I am not willing to take a risk. I will talk to Welsh, so be used to seeing some more uniforms on the neighborhood, OK?" 

She smiled. "I think you are exaggerating, but thanks, anyway". 

Ben, who had become very quiet, said. "Now that this is over, why don't we just forget all about it and have some dinner?" Diefenbaker woofed in agreement, Ray made a fuss about getting the pasta reheated and Linda sighed in relief. She did not want to show Benny how scared she was with the flimsiest possibility of having to face Victoria again. 


	7. Chapter 7

## Chapter 7

They were just kissing and cuddling in bed. Ray had gone home some time ago, and Dief decided to sleep by the kitchen. Fraser was a little more at ease, now that Linda had recovered from that awful test. It had been some time since they could be with each other like that, and he was relaxed. 

In Fraser's arms, Linda began to feel an odd sense of familiarity. She could inhale his scent again, keeping her lips over his neck and cheeks. If she had free movement of her body, she knew they would have been making love by now. It broke her heart to realize she was not able to do it, but she was determined not to deprive Fraser that pleasure. 

Linda took her fingers and raised them to his face in silence, her green eyes shining by the feeble light coming from the street. Her fingertips danced in his lips for some seconds, and she sighed. Ben held her gaze with love, feeling his heart swelling. This girl was everything to him. He should be demonstrating this to her, but... he did not want to risk her getting hurt. 

"This is so good", murmured Linda, still kissing his chest. "It's been a long time". 

"Yes", said Fraser, caressing her hair. "I missed that, too." 

"Ben, do you remember that talk we had in the hospital?" 

He smiled. "We talked a lot in the hospital, Linda. Which talk are you referring?" 

Linda tried not to betray the expectation on her voice. "The one about sex, Ben. I want you to know that if you are willing to try... I am ready". 

"You are?" Blue eyes suddenly were ablaze towards Linda. She felt a shiver throughout her whole body - or at least whatever parts she could feel. 

"Yes", she answered and blushed. "I am more than ready, Ben. Please." 

Then Linda stretched herself upwards, as much as she could, in order to capture his lips, this time no longer in cuddling mode, but in full passion mode, desire flaring in her veins. She was totally aware of his hot body under hers, and his breath was beginning to speed up a little. Oh, hers was catching, too. 

Their lips separated only enough time so they could catch some oxygen, and then they were locked again, Fraser's strong hands caressing everything he could from Linda's body. Her hands were unbuttoning his red long johns and Fraser squirmed to get out of the offending piece of clothing. Then he desperately helped Linda out of her camisole, and she whispered. "Yes, Ben... I can feel it..." 

Fraser felt her trembling body, and plunged to capture her breasts in his hands, making her gasp and then moan as his thumbs went through her nipples, hardening them instantly. Linda was mesmerized at the sheer sensations of her blood boiling, being barely able to breath correctly, her hands tousling Fraser's hair as his mouth travelled in her breasts hungrily. 

She captured his face between her hands and pulled him strongly upward, till their tongues were dueling again. It was then that she used her hands to seek his male firmness. The throbbing flesh should be poking her, but her thigh was senseless to that wonder of nature, so she sneaked a hand between their bodies until she could stroke him gently, making him gasp. 

"Oh, Ben... I missed you so much..." 

"I want you... I want you..." 

Then Linda used his hands to pump, reveling in Fraser's facial expression of exquisite torture as he approached the edge. He couldn't help but move his hips to the ever-increasing rhythm of Linda's hands. She drank from the beautiful sight of his excited expression, of his flushed face as her hands provided him the pleasure her body was not able to offer. 

Strangely her body was responding to all those stimuli, and the energy seemed to be dissipating from the waist down. Linda was panting, sweating, moaning, almost groaning in excitement. Her blood was singing and almost boiling in her veins, but only from the waist up. Instead of going all the way down to the center of her female heat, it just seemed to dissipate quite suddenly, leaving her with a numb sensation at the paralyzed area. 

Suddenly Linda withdrew her hands from Fraser's maleness, and he whimpered. She tried to move, seeking to plunge her head in his groin but was hindered by her body, and asked huskily. "Please, let me taste you, Ben. I need to taste you now...!" 

The scent of his arousal on her hands was making her dizzy with lust, and she was growing frustrated for not being able to shelter him in the warmth of her mouth. Fraser slid his body up and then gently pushed Linda down in the bed. She used her arms to get some level and in seconds he was almost sitting, and she was between his legs, already engrossed in the task of wholly accommodating his engorged shaft in her mouth. Her green eyes sparkled with joy when she felt the physical effort Fraser was making to avoid using her mouth, but his moans were getting quite expressive. 

After inhaling his musky odor for a few minutes, as if memorizing once more his distinctive scent, Linda reintroduced her mouth to every texture, ridge and curve of his flushed cock. The tip of her tongue travelled from under the head to his foreskin, and then to the slit from where Fraser's milk was already dripping. She licked the pearly drops sensually, making him shudder. Then she resumed the serious sucking, finding it hard to fit all of him in her mouth, so big and hard he had become. 

Nothing could be done. Feeling wave after wave of pure pleasure as she gently caressed his balls and his perineum without stopping the suction of his shaft, Fraser could barely articulate sounds, not to mention words. But he had to warn her. 

"I... Oh, dear... I... Please..." 

Nevertheless, Linda understood the message, and she proudly resumed her sucking with renewed energy. It was a point of honor to make him sated. Make it good for him. Unforgettable for him. 

Fraser came harder than he could remember, harder even in some memorable moments from his adolescence. Linda felt his cock twitching inside her mouth, the balls swelling and then softening after they exploded and expelled Fraser's sweet seed directly in her throat. With the help of her hands and untiring mouth, his organ was milked until the point of total exhaustion, and Fraser almost passed out, from such a mind-blowing orgasm. 

Love was flooding Linda when she tried to crawl up. But her position was so awkward that all she could do was rest her head on his thigh and caress his narrow waist. She was so happy, so full of joy and love. It had become very important to her that she provided Fraser with good sex, something she was not sure due to her paralysis. Proving herself able to do so was extremely reassuring, and an indication that they could beat this despite everything. 

After his breathing came back to normal, Fraser gently pulled her up and gathered her in his arms. He could feel Linda glowing with happiness, but he was so tired he only kissed her, smiled tenderly and snuggled against her body for a blissful sleep. She could feel his skin soft and warm against hers, and listened to his heartbeat. With an effort, Linda let that sound lull her to sleep. 

*** * ***

The wonderful feeling of Fraser's pale arms around her waist woke Linda up. Even though she was still dizzy and only half-awake, she could feel the blood rush in her body in an erotic way, and she turned her head so that her lips would find his cheek. Her breath was fast, and her chest was heaving. For a fleeting second, she wondered why her legs were not moving. Then she remembered, but strangely enough it did not lessen her enthusiasm. 

"Ben..." 

Fraser was wake, and kissed the junction of her shoulder and neck, sending shivers all over her body. Then he breathed practically straight to her ear, causing more shivers. "Yes...?" 

Linda's body was reaching high levels of arousal fast. Her brain never had a chance to function properly, so all she could do was feel his body close to her, his arms fastened around her waist, his hands travelling already to her breasts, and a loud moan slipped her lips. "Please, Ben... Please..." 

"Tell me, Linda... Tell me what you want..." 

"Make love to me, Ben." 

Linda could feel his hesitation. "But..." 

She silenced him. "Please, Ben... I need this. I want to see you. I need to know if we are still as one." 

Fraser struggled silently for a few more seconds. He tried to get rid of those thoughts. 

"You will _*_ _not_ * be using me, Ben." 

He stared at her; blue eyes wide with amazement. "How did you– " 

"I figured it out. And I repeat: you will _not_ be using me. I need to know, Ben." 

Fraser turned her around gently, doing the movements she could not make by herself. Knowing Linda, he knew she would like them to have this conversation face to face. He rested his forehead in hers, and looked down, unable to face her. "I want you so much... But I am scared to hurt you..." 

Linda took his face in her hands, forcing him to look inside her eyes. "Ben, I wished there was a way to let you know I am OK with this. Believe me, I am. I need you to make love to me, Ben, in a physical way we always did. I need this reassurance. I need to..." She choked, and this time, she was the one who could not meet his eyes. 

"Linda... Darling, what is it?" 

"Ben... I love you so much..." Linda was almost crying. "I am scared...that you don't find me attractive anymore..." 

Fraser's heart ached immensely with love, and he wrapped her tightly in his arms. "No, Linda, my love, don't..." She tried to control her tears, but her body was trembling. "I love you more than I could ever imagined possible. This is way beyond attraction, you know that." 

Linda sniffled. "But we need... sex... We always made that... And now..." 

The smile on Fraser's face was priceless. "And now" He ran his hands on her small back, and she shuddered. "Now we improvise..." 

Before she could answer, he leaned in to a severe lip lock, forcing her lips open and thrusting his questioning and probing tongue on the inside of her mouth. The rapture of his actions left her totally breathless and injected a shot of pure desire in her bloodstream. After a few minutes of Ben's relentless exploration of her mouth, Linda was panting and felt his lips on her neck. 

"Ben... please..." 

He did not stop what he was doing – driving her mad with desire. "Humm?" 

"Ben... please... do me a favor..." 

"Anything..."His lips now went to the base of her neck. Linda shivered in pleasure. 

"Ben... I want to hear you... Just... to know... what you're feeling...You are usually so quiet... Don't be... please..." 

She was amazed she could still form coherent sentences, because Fraser was sure as busy with his hands as he was with his lips. 

Once more, Linda was able to feel desire and passion. Her body burned, her blood boiled – only from the waist up, though. Fraser was so thorough in dispensing attention to her nipples they seemed about to hurt. Her hands roamed in his back, her fingers went to his hair, then she felt his skin sweaty and oily. There were long moans from his throat, and at such a low vibration that for an instant Linda thought Fraser could definitely purr like a cat. 

Her hands sneaked between their bodies, searching the burning center of his body, passing his stomach, then enticing the flatness below his navel in the direction of his curly forest. Fraser gasped and moved his hips in the direction of her hand. At the same time, he leaned in and panted in her ears, and small cries slipped from her throat. 

"Ben" She managed to call. "Please, Ben..." 

Fraser looked inside her eyes hooded with lust. Shaking, he gently parted her legs and positioned himself in between them. He had to control himself, and looked at her. Linda was smiling, eagerly waiting for them to become one. There was no fear in her eyes, only love, devotion and indescribable tenderness. Fraser's heart ached, his eyes watered, for it was such a heavenly vision. 

"Ben..." She called again. "Please, Ben, now, please..." 

Fraser pressed his lips against Linda's trying to silence his quiet struggle. At the same time, he slipped a finger inside her, to make sure she would not get inadvertently hurt. He was surprised to find her sex slick, humid and hot. Still trembling, he muffled a moan in her lips as he guided himself into her. It had been such a long time. 

The feeling of her warmth around him, welcoming him, shook Fraser to his core. He could not prevent throwing his head back as his hips moved forward inside her, and his moans acquired a tone of grunting. Linda had to bite back a sob, tears of happiness threatening to form in her eyes. She wrapped her arms around him, wanting to feel as much as she could from his smell, his heat, his desire. In minutes, Fraser was thrusting like a passionate animal, thus enhancing Linda's joy. How she wished she could explode like him. 

Somehow, she could feel his explosion building, even if his cries weren't a clue strong enough. Linda held on to him as strong as she could, feeling his heart so close to hers that they were like beating together, and waited a few seconds. When he soared high in his climax, she could almost feel his blood in her veins, observed those lovely features convulse and his head rise with a cry. The second later, his body went limp in her arms, but he was careful not to crush her under his superior weight. They lay entwined, limbs tangled, Linda struggling to keep her tears unchecked. Then Fraser's breathing subsided to a pattern that Linda thought would be deep sleep, and she settled to sleep herself. 

In a few minutes, he stirred and went to the bathroom. Linda heard the water running and raised her head to see him preparing a bath. She turned over and tried to doze off, but was lovingly awaken when her lips were captured and a smiling face hovered over hers. "Care for a bath, my lady?" 

Linda smiled sleepily to the tenderness in his face. "I would love to", she purred. 

Fraser scooped her in his arms, and took her to the bathroom. Linda was surprised to see candles near the sink, before she was lovingly deposited inside a bath filled with hot and scented water. The girl enjoyed the feeling of her arms in that sweet liquid caress, and sighed sadly when she realized she could not feel it from her waist down. 

Fraser joined her and noticed the change in her expression. "Anything wrong?" 

She turned to him, all sadness forgotten, eyes glowing in the light of candles. "No, my lord. This is all so perfect. I am so happy." 

But Ben was not smiling anymore. "I am so sorry." 

Linda almost felt her heart break. "Ben, why?" 

Fraser blushed, and Linda thought the light of the candles made him look so lovely. He seemed truly embarrassed. "I was so scared. I was so focused in my fear I could not believe it could be that good. I am sorry." 

"It is just fine. You were not ready then. I would have waited for you." 

He smiled, and the bathroom seemed to brighten up. "You are simply amazing. I love you." 

"I love you, too. Does that mean we are going to repeat that sometime soon?" 

Ben's smile was priceless, and so was the wicked gleam in his eyes. "Sooner than you think." 

Linda laughed as she had not done in quite a while, and it was that sweet little giggle that Fraser loved so much. He thought he would melt in the spot hearing that lovely sound. Suddenly he leaned in her and kissed those tender lips. "Let's get clean, shall we?" 

"Of course, my lord." 

In the small of the night, they engrossed in the task of soaping each other. Silently, Dief peeped through the door half-closed and sighed heavily. It seemed they were in heat again. 

But Dief remembered that last time they were doing that, the man disappeared and the woman suddenly became very ill. The wolf wondered if that was bound to happen again. 


	8. Chapter 8

## Chapter 8

"Constable?" 

"Constable Fraser?" 

Finally, the Mountie's quiet voice seemed to register in his mind, and Fraser snapped to attention in reflex. "Yes. Yes, Constable Turnbull. Could I be of any assistance?" 

"No, sir, but I believe I could be. Why don't you leave early today?" 

Fraser felt his face blushing, and reddened. "I couldn't, Constable, not with Inspector Thatcher out in Ottawa for three weeks, and her instructions were quite specific -" 

"Her instructions were for you not to miss any working day during her absence. I believe they did not specifically require your presence the whole shift every day. Besides, you stayed late last night, and the extra time can compensate for your eventual absence". 

"Really, Turnbull, I -" 

"Sir, I know you would like to be at the hospital at least when Miss Linda comes out of that awful exam. We can cover everything here. There will be no problem". 

"It is very nice of you, but I - " 

"Just tell her my best, Sir. And please _go_." 

Fraser felt a warm wave in his heart as he smiled at Turnbull. Friends. Amazing how fast Linda could make them. He babbled some grateful thanks, grabbed his Stetson and ran out of the Consulate, his heart beating faster. It should be a surprise to Linda as it was to him, and she always loved surprises. Ray and Jenny would be at the hospital with her, and they could all go home together. Only Diefenbaker would be missing. 

Constable Turnbull felt glad she could be helping his superior officer that way. Also, he was very fond of Miss Linda, and was terribly sorry for the unfortunate events that plagued her and resulted in her paralysis. In that spirit, he was more than happy to help the two gentlemen who approached him half an hour after Constable Fraser left, and introduced themselves as old acquaintances of his from the Territories. Turnbull made extra efforts such as giving them Fraser's home address and everything the two young men asked for. 

*** * ***

That morning Linda was so bad Fraser did not have the heart to wake her up. He reprimanded himself for almost cursing Turnbull just because he did not have a telephone. That way Fraser could warn him he would be late and spend a few more minutes with Linda until Jenny arrived. But his temper soon was boiled down when he remembered how nice Turnbull had been the day before, offering for him to leave early so he could get Linda in the hospital after that horrible exam. 

Too bad he could not stay in today. Inspector Thatcher had given specific instructions that he was not to miss any working day during her absence. As a perfect Mountie, he would not disobey, but his heart was torn. Linda was mercifully asleep, and feverish, too. At least she was not in pain anymore. Dr. Wilson changed the medication, so she would be asleep a lot longer after the spinal fluid treatment. 

"Ben!" The old lady's face lightened up with a smile as she answered the door. 

"Good morning, Mrs. Mutchik", he greeted embarrassed. "I hope I have not wakened you". 

"Nonsense, young man. Have you any idea at what time do I get up?" 

Fraser thought on answering the question, but decided to stick to his pressing problems. "I was wondering, Mrs. Mutchnik, if you would mind helping me a little." 

"Is Linda feeling well?" 

"Actually no, and that is why I am here. I was wondering if it would be a terrible bother if you would stay with her a few minutes until Jenny arrives? She is usually up at this time, but I am afraid she is not feeling well today because of the treatment. Unfortunately, I am expected at the Consulate early today, and I really hate to upset you this manner, but -" 

She stopped his babbling. "Absolutely, Ben. Say no more. I will be there in a flash." 

"I appreciate it immensely, Mrs. Mutchnik." 

"That is what neighbors are for. I will just warn Oscar, because his leg has been bothering him. Wait a minute, I will go with you." 

"Thank you again". 

Both went to the apartment, and Mrs. Mutchnik observed Linda asleep, then went to the kitchen. "Oh, poor thing. She looks so pale. Maybe she would like a soup for breakfast, or a nice sturdy porridge." 

"Please don't bother, Mrs. Mutchnik. She will be glad to see you here, I am sure. Normally, Diefenbaker stays with her, but he is with his friend Willie today. I am terribly sorry to bother you." 

"No, young man, I am glad to help. You both are such good neighbors. Now, you can go to work, because I would not like you to get late." 

"Should anything arise, all numbers to the Consulate are at the phone by the nightstand. Jenny is also instructed to call me. Feel free to call anytime." 

"There won't be a problem, I am sure. You can go and don't worry, for we will be fine". 

"Thank you again, Mrs. Mutchnik. And keep this", he passed her a small container. "It should help with Mrs. Mutchnik's leg". 

"Thank you, Ben. Now go and don't worry." 

Fraser put his Stetson and left, now much more at peace, his watch remembering him of his consular duties. Linda was in hands of people who cared about her, so he should not worry. 

Linda woke up to the voices in the kitchen and called. "Ben?" 

Mrs. Mutchnik came in the room, and greeted. "Good morning, dear. Benton had to go to work, my dear. I will be with you for a while, until that nice girl arrives. How are you feeling?" 

"My back hurts a tad", she admitted. "I think I will take another pill". 

"I will bring you some water." 

Linda stretched herself a little and reached the medicine beside the telephone at the nightstand. Mrs. Mutchnik was promptly back with a glass of water and helped her take the pill. Then Linda eased herself back in the covers, grimacing a lot. Mrs. Mutchnik helped her, her heart aching for the pain that young lady was feeling. "Now you are all set. Please go back to sleep, and the painkiller will surely kick in. Jenny will be here in a short while, so you don't need to worry. Try to rest some more." 

"I will", Linda was almost out by the pill. "Thank you, Mrs. Mutchnik." 

The old lady caressed the young girl's front, then watched as she drifted back to sleep, her head shaking. Mrs. Mutchnik carefully picked up the glass with water and went to the kitchen. There she glanced at the clock – almost eight o'clock. Time for her husband to take his medicine. She went back to the bedroom, where Linda was fast asleep. The old lady thought the girl would not even know if she went for a few minutes back to her apartment, so she left quietly and the door stayed open. 

Linda woke up to soft noises in the living room. She called out weakly, still groggy, "Mrs. Mutchnik, are you out there?" 

She tried to sit up, but her back was killing her with pain, making her dizzy. And when she looked at the door, there were two men there. Two young men she had never seen before. Dizzy, she frowned. 

"Who are you?" 

One with long hair answered. "We've been told to take you with us." 

Linda's stomach was starting to make a knot, and she began to have trouble breathing. "I don't know you". 

The second one shrugged, "We are here just to take you." 

Inside her head, Linda was starting to have grim thoughts about what these two had done to Mrs. Mutchnik. She felt as if she was in a nightmare. They should be Victoria's people. That awful woman was back, and Linda shivered. * _Please,_ _no! No,_ _God,_ _please_ _not again_ *. 

Linda could not help shaking, her world spinning, reality askew. Victoria probably wanted to finish what she started months ago. Only this time Linda was totally helpless to prevent her from getting what that criminal woman wanted. Linda looked at the two men, and they looked so young, so young, oh God. Then she tried to control her voice, but all she could say was, "No, please. Please, don't do this."

The young men looked at each other, and Linda had to make her mushy brain think fast, despite all chemicals and painkillers. She moved towards the nightstand as fast as she could, and grabbed the telephone. She was not sure she was able to dial 911, but the telephone was taken from her hands, and strong hands stopped her. 

"Lady, we don't have time for this". 

"Just be nice, OK? Everything will be fine, pretty soon. We will just take you someplace nice. Relax." 

"No, please, leave me alone", Her voice was weak, though in her head she was screaming. "Please don't do this". 

The one with long hair talked to the other. "This might be more trouble than we thought". 

"Come on, we knew she was sick. Let's take her as we were told to do. Wrap her in the covers." 

Linda felt betrayed by her weakened body as they carried her away, away from her home, from Ben, and she could not do anything about it. Worse than that, the medicine was finally kicking in. She was losing consciousness. Before she was totally out, she could see that she was put on the back of a van, and she called weakly, "Ben... Help me..." 

When Jenny arrived at Linda's apartment, she was surprised to see a couple of police cars in front of the building. The police told her 911 received a call that had been aborted and it was traced to that building. It was a kidnapping case. Jenny had to identify herself, and was met with a bunch of questions. She also recognized the neighbor, Mrs. Mutchnik, who was clutching a tear-sodden handkerchief, weeping. 

Jenny Hemmet did not see her face evolve through a series of reactions as she heard Linda had been kidnapped from her own bed. First, she was shocked, then she was mad, after that she became desperate, and finally, she was miserable. Mainly because she was the one who had the sad task of giving the bad news to Constable Fraser. 

*** * ***

"We should have set up a surveillance team". 

"Ray, there was no indication –" 

"Turnbull could have said something earlier." 

"He did not think – " 

"And why did that lady had to leave her anyway? Didn't you ask her to stay with Linda until Jenny arrived?" 

"Ray, maybe it was for the best. Did you really believe they would have been stopped by Mrs. Mutchnik's presence? Can't you imagine what they might have done to her or Jenny?" 

Ray passed a hand through the balding head, frustrated. "We have to get her back, Fraser". 

Fraser knew he should get worried when Ray used his last name. "They didn't take her chair nor any of her medication. They must have some means of taking care of her, if they are keeping her somewhere". 

"You mean, if they plan to keep her alive". 

Ben could not help to shiver when he heard the quiet words Ray pronounced. He looked at his friend, stared into his face. The Italian green eyes were so filled with emotion that there was no room for tears. "Benny, I am so scared". His voice was getting quieter. 

"Ray, we should concentrate in following leads. If we stop to think about other things, things we have no control, then– " He could not go on and sighed. "At least, there is a case open for kidnapping. With the tape from 911, there is no need to wait 48 hours to report a missing person". 

"Benny", Ray said quietly, "Do you think it was... you know... _her_?" 

It took a few minutes until Fraser could answer. He looked at his lap, and breathed in deep, as if this was the last time in a long while he would be able to do that. "I can't think of anyone else, Ray. But I am really afraid that it could not be her. I can't think of anyone else who would want to harm Linda other than..." He did not finish the sentence. He didn't want to be forced to pronounce Victoria's name. 

Ray took a deep breath and said, "All right, let's start it from the top. We better talk to Turnbull again". 

*** * ***

The door opened and she turned around, even though she already knew who had arrived. " _Figlio_ ". 

"Hi, Ma." 

"I did not expect you home so early, Raymondo." 

"I just came in to shower and change. I will be heading back to the precinct right away." 

" _Caro_ , I have saved you some _pasta al_ _foglioli_." 

"Thanks, Ma, but I don't have time."

"Raymondo, you know better than that. Go shower, then come back and eat your pasta. Don't argue with your mother."

Ray was glad she did not pose any questions. In her eyes, there were many of those, but there also was support. That was all he needed right that moment. He let himself slump in Uncle Lorenzo's favorite chair. "Benny should be coming later on. I made him promise he would not go home. Besides, forensics are still working there, and... well, he should not go there." 

"Then I better save him some pasta, too, and prepare the guest room, too. How is he?" 

Ray sighed. "He is not good, Ma. He is awful. Thank God tomorrow is Saturday, and he doesn't have to go to the Consulate. He seems to be better when he is working some clues". He took a deep breath and announced, "Ma, I will place an international call. I have to reach the Dragon Lady."

"Who?" 

"Benny's boss. She is up in Canada, in some technical training course, for three weeks. Benny says she is not to be disturbed, but she cannot do that to him. He needs personal leave, otherwise he will break, Ma. I know he will". 

"Of course, _caro_. You call this boss woman right now. You do anything to bring our girl back home." 

Mrs. Vecchio shook her head and kept silent as Ray closed his eyes and let his hands run his balding head in frustration. Her boys were hurting so much. 

Frannie came running the stairs, her level of anxiety high enough to boil arctic waters. "Anything, Ray?" 

That was the question he had been avoiding. All he could say was a totally non-committal "We are working on it, Frannie." 

The youngest Vecchio put both hands on the tiny waist and raised her voice almost an octave. "It is not fair, Ray! Linda does not deserve that, I tell you. What is that woman up to, anyway? What more could she probably do to Linda?" 

"We will stop her", guaranteed Ray. "We will stop her and bring Linda home". 

Frannie's eyes grew as she followed her line of thought. "Oh, no, Ray. What if that woman has gone mad? If she is insane, there is no telling what she can do to Linda. She will never stop; she may hunt Linda to the ends of the earth!" 

Ray felt his own sanity and his nerves were being put to a test. "Frannie, the woman is not crazy. Going insane would not help her manipulate people, and that is all she is interested in doing, believe me. We will find her, and you mark my words: if she hurts Linda, I'll kill her". 

Francesca opened her mouth, but Ray stood up and went to the bathroom, leaving mother and daughter confounded with amazement and tension. From Ray's tone of voice, they knew he meant business. If Linda was hurt, that woman was dead. She might be walking and talking and everything, but she was as dead as Jimmy Hoffa. 


	9. Chapter 9

## Chapter 9

Moving.

The world was churning around Linda.

_ Ben.  _ _ Gotta _ _ warn Ben. _

Everything was trembling. Sometimes Linda could not move. Her muscles were slack, there was  heat all around her,  maybe fire,  hot, hot hotter than Hell.  _ Where could Ben be? _

"Ben... help me..." 

She heard  her own voice loud in her eyes, like screams. They could be whispers. "Please Ben... Help me Ben..."

There was nothing she could see. Then it was oblivion again.

For a long time.

A very l ong time.... 

Nothing happened. The world spun furiously when she felt herself being propped up. There was a scorching hot liquid being shoved inside her throat. She almost choked, and felt cold cold cold. She shivered and called. "Ben..."

Long time...

There were sounds reaching her ears, strange sounds  Linda had never heard before. And the smells were definitely wrong. Her head was so confused, there were things she could not think.  Still no vision, though.  Was she in a hospital? Why would she be in a hospital? She felt so sick. All she wanted to do was sleep, but she knew she would do that much better with Fraser's arms around her.

"Ben..."

Then the smells got nearer her and more of that hot liquid was poured inside her mouth. At least now she could feel a hand across her front, skin cool and rough, so unlikely any she knew. It was not as soft and as loving as Mrs.  Vecchio's nor warm as Fraser's. It was unknown. And the taste...

That hot thing she was forced to swallow had the most awful taste Linda could remember in her whole life. It was not hospital food. It was not tea, no leaf tea, no tree bark tea. But it made her feel good enough to get back to sleep. This time it was not the trashy, ragged and feverish sleep between delirious states. It was good, natural and replenishing sleep.

** * * * **

When Linda registered that she was finally awake, she was completely alone. And the world as she knew it was totally gone.

It dawned on Linda that two strange young men had snatched her from her apartment. Linda was so ill she could barely remember what happened from them on, but as she looked around, she knew this place was totally unfamiliar to her. She was in some sort of big darkened room, in dark walls, a big bed, half-buried in all kinds of covers. It had a fireplace inside, and there was a kettle or pot on the fire. The walls were made of dark wood, and she could see strange things hanging from there – carpets, furs, some shelves filled with pots and cups. There was a table, some chairs and a strange smell, something she could not quite place.

Two seconds later, she found out. Her hands ran on the covers, and she  realized one of those blankets was made from animal  fur . Other cover s were from wool, and all of them smelled a little. Not that they were dirty, Linda  realized , but they had natural smells, just like Ben's leather jacket. They were soft, though, and helped keep  her  warm.

It did not take long for her to speculate where was she, or who had taken her there. Linda prayed with all her heart it had not been Victoria. Last time they met Linda barely survived, and worse  – she was still paying the price. But then, if not, it left so few candidates that Linda shivered just to think about  –

Her thoughts fled her as the door opened, and there was a blow of hard, cold wind, snow coming inside, too. A  large  woman came inside the room, in heavy winter clothing, furs and all. Linda froze,  paralyzed with fear, not really knowing what to do, but keeping her eyes glued on the woman.

The lady took off her rustic fur coat and a wool scarf, revealing her black, lustrous and straight hair and her overweight forms. Her face was flushed from the cold, and her eyes crinkled. The stranger smiled when she saw Linda awake, staring at her, and approached the bed. She said something, something Linda did not understand. They were strange words. And  the woman kept coming towards Linda.

"Who are you?" The woman said some more strange words.

"Please, tell me... ” Linda insisted, terrified. “W here am I?"

More of those words, words Linda did not  recognize . Fear started to build inside her, a pain in her hollow stomach, burning, making her mind reel. "No, please...! Stand back! Stand BACK!"

Suddenly, it was all too much for Linda. She saw the woman getting near her, and imagined she was the one Victoria chose to finish the job and kill her. Linda absolutely freaked : she squeezed her eyes shut and  screeched loud, louder than she ever did, loud enough to weak up dead people a hundred miles away.

**_ "AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" _ **

The woman halted, startled. She clearly did not expect that, but Linda was way past all those considerations. Hysterical, the girl continued to scream in total terror, unable to stop,  eyes squeezed shut,  and tried to scramble to get on her feet and away from the woman. Blinded by  panic , Linda had  completely  forgotten her legs were  paralyzed .

So she went on screaming and thrashing and scraping herself, trying to get herself away from the woman, when suddenly she felt strong arms pinning her down in the bed, and she had the impulse to kick whoever was holding her, but her legs were not operative. Then, and only then, was she able to hear past her own screams and to feel a slap on her cheek. Immediately Linda stopped screaming, snapped her eyes open and sniffled to see who hit her. There was an old man, grey hair and solemn brown eyes holding her.

"Calm down, please. Please keep calm."

Linda tried to control her sobs. "Please, don't kill me", she begged in a wisp of voice. "I am very ill, please don't hurt me, don’t kill me..."

The man relaxed a bit of his grip on her. "Calm down. I won't hurt you. Do you hear me?" Linda nodded, still trying to catch her breath, and his voice became softer. " Everything is OK. No need to be afraid." The old man finally let go of her, and Linda saw the strange woman hovering above him,  expectantly  looking at her.

"Who are you? Where am I?"

He reached out for her and she flinched to get away from his touch. He did not insist, and sighed. "Time for that later. ” The man showed the large lady and introduced her, “ Now this is  Ilaqali , and she is taking care of you. She does not speak your language. She will feed you now, and you will eat, and after you eat, you will rest. Do you understand?"

Tears were still on Linda's face as she nodded. The old man then turned to the woman ( Ilaqali ), told her something in that strange language, then looked at Linda, his eyes smooth and his voice soft. "You rest, recover. Then we talk." And then he left.

Linda wiped her tears and looked up to the woman called  Ilaqali . She wished some of her questions had been answered, but something inside her told the best thing to do was to keep quiet.  Ilaqali smiled at Linda, then turned to the fire. Linda craned her neck to try to see what she was doing, but the woman's large body did not let her see anything.

In a few minutes,  Ilaqali turned around, and took a large bowl to Linda. The girl tried not to wince at the proximity of the woman, who sat on the bed and started to feed her. Linda could not identify what was that in the first spoonful, but noticed it was awful. She almost choked, her stomach revolving in repulsion, so she tried to resist.

No use.  Ilaqali proved herself a very persistent woman, and fed Linda at least a dozen more  spoonfuls . After that, she probably took pity on the girl, or figured it would be enough.  Ilaqali put the bowl away and then said some of those strange words, but her voice was nice and soft. Her black eyes were reassuring, and she patted Linda on the cheek, smiling. Linda just braced herself, suddenly feeling very tired.

When  Ilaqali left her alone, Linda was tired and still quite  scared . She did not know what to say, and that food was awful. She hugged herself and slipped into merciful sleep, before she even  realized how really tired she was.

** * * * **

Linda woke up suddenly, calling for Ben. Disoriented, she kept on calling him, and wondered if her bedroom was on fire. After a few seconds, she remembered everything and sighed heavily. It had * _ not _ * been a vivid nightmare.

That  realization hit her harder than she could imagine. Her throat constricted, and a sob erupted loud and painful. A second one followed, and her shoulders shook convulsively. After that, a literal flood of tears streamed down her face. Unable to control herself, Linda wailed away in the night, head hidden in the pillow surmising she had been left alone, with not even a captor to keep her company. She called Ben over and over, now  fully aware he would not come, using the sound of his name as some sort of mantra or prayer. Repeating it, she grew tired again, and eventually she slept.

Linda never woke up when  Ilaqali rose from her bed on the floor, and stared gently at her sleeping face to make sure she was resting.

** * * * **

Voices nearby brought Linda away from sleep. Not fully awake, she tried to rise. "Ben?"

All voices stopped and she rubbed her eyes. There were at least three men staring at her, not to mention  Ilaqali . Linda tried not to show how much of a shock that was to her. The three men were not unknown to her. One was the old man she had met earlier, and the other two were the duo who took her from her apartment. She gasped and smothered a yell, remembering that old man had hit her once and he could do it again.

The old man took a step in her direction. "Don't be afraid. No one here wants to harm you".

Linda did not believe in that for a second, and kept her gaze at the two young men who had taken her from her home without saying a word. The old man followed her eyes, then sighed.

"I know this is hard for you to believe. David and his friend did a very bad thing. But they did not mean to scare you. You see, you are here because Benton asked us to take care of you."

Linda could not help the flare of anger that swept through her. "It is a lie! Ben would never do such a thing!"

"It is the truth," the old man said quietly. "It is important you believe it. Some weeks ago, Ben called Eric to ask if we could treat a very serious case. He said some traditional healing might help your case. Didn't he tell you that?"

Linda shook her head as she felt her heart pounding inside her chest, and she still did not know if she could believe the man. Unsure, she just stared at the old man, waiting for him to continue.

He gestured to the young men. "David and  Nikitit were headed for Chicago, and Eric thought it was a good occasion to bring you here. But they only had a short time while they were there, and they tried to talk to Benton, and  – "

"Wait a minute. What do you mean 'while they were there'? Aren't we in Chicago?"

The old man stared very intently at her. "No, we are not. David and  Nikitit brought you to Canada, to our village."

Linda's head totally spun. She was in * _ Canada _ *! Another country! Her senses were threatening to fail her, and her voice went up an octave higher. "But... how...?????"

"Calm down," said the old man. "As I said before, the boys were quite impatient to return, so they felt it was best to bring you along, even though you were not quite well to such a long trip. But they are young, and their judgement is not tempered by the experience of years."

There were fewer occasions in her life when Linda felt so alone. Tears sprung from her eyes before she could even register she was crying.

The old man cleared his throat. "The boys have something they want to tell you".

There was palpable embarrassment on the air. One of the young men stepped forward. "We are sorry. We should have talked to Benton. He is  our  Uncle Eric's friend. Please forgive us. We meant no harm."

Linda wiped her tears and tried to breathe again. She did not know what to think, so there was nothing she could say to the young men, who seemed to be as old as she herself was. And they looked really remorseful.

The old men drew her attention. "We settled you in this  communal  cabin, built in our tradition al ways.  Ilaqali volunteered to take care of you, because you came here too sick. Now your fever is under control, but you must be fully recovered before we begin." 

"Begin?"

"Your healing. But this is another thing. First you need to recover fully and gather some strength."

"I am much better. You can begin the treatment , if you like."

The old man shook his head. "No, you are still too weak. But it is not your body we are concerned about, but your spirit. It is  very  sick, and your body just followed. You just rest, eat traditional food,  and  have some very good  _ niqiits _ , so your spirit can go stronger. Then we start healing your body."

Linda tried to hold back the tears, but could not. "How long will the treatment take?"

"We'll see about it later. Now try to recover. If you need anything, tell  Ilaqali ."

The girl nodded, unable to say anything else. The three men walked out of the cabin, and Linda could hear people talking outside. She looked at  Ilaqali , and the woman tried to smile at Linda. The American girl looked at the native Canadian and wept.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: niqiit – medicine food, food used as medicine


	10. Chapter 10

## Chapter 10

"I don't believe you, Benny! You slept in the Consulate  _ again _ , knowing full well Ma had a perfectly good room waiting for you, didn't you?"

Even through the telephone, Fraser could feel Ray was annoyed. There was nothing he could do. He could not go home, not to the apartment, not when Linda was missing, and he seemed to be so helpless to help her out. He also felt so guilty about everything...

He sighed. "I am sorry, Ray. I was working late, then I got distracted and I thought it was inappropriate to arrive at your home in such an untimely hour."

"You're welcome at my house any time and you know it", chided Ray. "Did you get in touch with the Dragon Lady?"

Fraser felt himself stiff. "I was told she was still in a training  center and was not to be disturbed. I was also encouraged to...  cease trying to talk to her".

It was Ray's turn to sigh. "I am sorry to hear that, Benny. Look, if you have the time now, I was going to check the tracks found near your apartment. There is a guy I know in the South Side that could help us find what car they came from."

"I am sorry, Ray, I am a tad busy right now. I am sure you will come up with something."

"Sure. But there is something going on, I can feel it in my bones. I have not been able to talk to Welsh for the last two  _ days _ . And I have seen Feds around the precinct. Something is going on, Benny, and I don't like the smell of it".

"Ray, it is a kidnapping case. You know the FBI is required to check all kidnappings. It is standard procedure, and we both know that."

"Yeah, yeah, but then why aren't they taking over the case? And why is it so secret? Welsh has not taken me off the case, so I am investigating it anyway. Besides, Feds or no Feds, I would not leave the case, and Welsh knows it."

"Then maybe it is the help you requested at last. It would come in handy. We have been quite busy, but the truth is that nothing has been very... effective."

There was a small pause at the other end of the line. Then Ray's voice seemed to be quieter. "We will find her, Benny."

Fraser couldn't help it, and his voice was a little cracked. "Of course we will. Is Diefenbaker behaving?"

"The mutt is happy to be pampered by Ma.  H e keeps sniffing me. It seems he is hoping to find her scent in me. Then he whines and goes back to the door, as if expecting her to come in any minute. But the kids always call him to play, so he is not as depressed as he could be."

Fraser felt a bit relieved. "I am glad he has an opportunity to keep his mind away from things." The button on his phone began to flash repeatedly, indicating an incoming call. "I am sorry, Ray, but I have to go. There is another call coming."

"Alright, Benny, I will keep you posted. See  ya ."

The connection was broken and Fraser sighed, trying to focus his attention on his work. It was so hard to concentrate these last few days...He pushed the flashing button. "Yes, Constable Turnbull?"

"Sorry, Sir, but there is a tribal elder on line 2. He is calling from the Territories."

_ The  _ _ Territories?, _ Fraser frowned. "Al l  right, Constable, I will take it, thank you." He flipped another button. "Constable Fraser speaking."

"Hello, Benton. Good to hear from you."

Fraser smiled involuntarily at the familiar voice. The sound transported him back to his childhood, when that same voice would fill his willing ears with stories about the traditional ways of the tribe and all the mysteries of the land. Fraser's trained ears did not miss the tone of grief in that friendly voice.

"Shaman, it is nice to hear you, too. But I can sense your distress. Is there something I can do for you?"

"You can forgive me later for the news I am sure I am about to break to you, Benton. For  now, I ask you to hear what I have to say. Remember you contacted Eric a few weeks ago?"

For several minutes, Benton Fraser listened to the old man unfurl a story he only believed because of the man who was telling it. It would seem too fantastic coming from anyone else. Apart from that fact, the emotions playing within him were making it hard to breathe.

"You know I usually don't take family during the healing process, but I am afraid she is too scared. She arrived here in a pretty bad physical shape, and now she has a hard time trusting anyone. I would not dare to take her to the sweat lodge the way she is now. You must help her, Benton."

"How?"

"Her spirit is even more troubled than her body right now. She needs someone to believe in, someone to trust. I was wondering if you could come up here and just reassure her. Tell her she is among friends."

Fraser bit a lip in frustration, his stomach churning. Linda needed him, and he couldn't go. That was totally unbecoming. "I regret that I am quite tied up here, now. Duty." He said the word with frustration and contempt for the first time in his life, his voice harsh. "I won't be able to get out at least for two weeks."

There was an audible sight from the other end of the line. "How unfortunate. I am afraid taking her to a telephone right now is impossible, too. She needs to be reassured so the healing can begin. This is important, Benton."

An idea flashed through Fraser's mind. "I will ask someone to stop by and talk to her. Luckily she will listen."

"I hope it works, Benton. I  apologize again for the distress this whole situation caused you and Linda. Rest assured we will do anything to get her back to her health."

"I know this, shaman. Thank you for calling. I will try to call you back."

"Take care, Benton."

When Fraser hung up the phone, he let out a breath he had not  realized he had been holding. It seemed a 50-ton weight had been released from his shoulder, only to be replaced by a 10-ton one. His whole body was shaking. When he calmed down a little, he turned to the telephone again and began to dial numbers at a frantic speed.

** * * * **

Since that reunion with the tribesmen, when Linda found out she was a victim of an involuntary international kidnapping, all days seemed to go unnoticed. Linda accepted  Ilaqali's ministrations, and even grew more accustomed to being bathed, cleaned and fed in bed. Her diet was mainly raw meat  – a tradi tional food for the sick people, she’d been told.

Nevertheless, Linda's reaction was close to none. During the day, she stayed in bed, having no one to talk, eventually smiling at  Ilaqali . Linda did not sense any harm coming from the big native woman, but the fact that they could not communicate besides some gestures was taking its toll on the American girl.

Linda missed Ben terribly, and she could almost feel his concern for her. Her sole consolation was her ring. She turned it on her finger, over and over, as if the small cold object could reassure their love. Ben would be  nuts; she was almost sure. Ray, on the other hand, would not be worried. He would be totally angry, shouting at everyone, biting people's heads off. Linda smiled just to think about Ray, as if she could see his long arms flapping, his green eyes sparkling, his whole body moving in elegant annoyance, as always. Then she wondered how the other people in her life would react. Ma would be praying,  Frannie would be trying to calm her down lest she herself went nuts, Turnbull would be  clumsily  breaking things all over his own apartment...

These thoughts usually came to her at nights, after her nightmares and screams woke her up. Linda called for Ben every single night in her sleep. Then she would cry herself to the point she was so tired and breathless all she could do was fall into merciful oblivion. Lately, however, no matter how much she wept, she could not get back to sleep for a long time.

That night, apparently, was one of the latter. She thought she was awake, but then she found a Mountie standing near her bed. Linda did not startle, for she knew the man.

"I  recognize you", she said quietly. "You were in my dreams while I was at the hospital."

The older Mountie smiled. "I did not think you would remember that. I am glad you do . "

"So am I dreaming again? Why would I be dreaming about you again?"

The Mountie sat on her bed, and Linda did not feel his weight on the mattress, thus reinforcing her belief she was dreaming. The man said. "I did not know dreams had a reason to be."

"My dreams usually do. Dr.  Lennyard is the one who explains those dreams to me. Being this the second time I dream about you, I can definitely tell there is a reason. I wish I could explain it as well as Dr.  Lennyard does."

"Ah." The Mountie then seemed to be considering the question very hard. "What if I told you that you find Mounties a symbol of trustworthiness and safety? It might be so, due to your... bond with Benton. Therefore, right now when you need to feel safe, you would dream about a Mountie."

Linda thought hard on his words, then nodded, pleased. "Yes. Yes, that makes every sense to me, Mr...  Er , Mr... I am sorry, I don't know your name."

"My friends call me Bob. I am a Sergeant with the RCMP."

"Nice to meet you, Sergeant Bob. So you came to my dream to give me a sense of security."

"One might say so, yes. It is important you trust the native people. They want to help you."

"That is what the old man told me. But I don't know whom to trust. I mean, they just yanked me from my home. I am so scared."

"They say it was an accident. They boys were impatient, and did not think much. You know how kids can be."

"I am not much older than they are, Sergeant."

The Mountie inspected her closely, and seemed surprised. "Oh, dear. I have never noticed you were so young."

"And now they keep me here in this cabin. I am not sure if I am not a prisoner, you understand? I wish someone would tell me what to do. I wish Ben were here."

"Benton would be here if he could," said Sergeant Bob. "You know that, don't you?"

"Yes. I know he was very busy at the Consulate, because the Inspector would be gone for some time. I wonder if he even knows what is going on. I miss him so much, Sergeant."

"Do you believe he wanted to send you here?"

"Well, he mentioned once the possibility of getting a better treatment in Canada, once we got married. But I was imagining it would involve a hospital and other doctors, not this kind of treatment. It would never cross my mind."

"But Benton thought this, at least once."

"It seems he did. But he never told me that. Maybe it was because I said no when he asked me to marry him. He might have thought I would say no to this, too", she whimpered. "Yet none of this can help me now. I don't know if I can trust these people. They seem nice and all, but still..."

"I see. You need reassurance."

Linda nodded, relieved he understood. "Exactly, Sergeant. Reassurance."

The Mountie smiled. "No problem. I will see what I can do."

Linda smiled fondly. "You know, you may become my  favorite dream, from now on. I sure don't have much to do here, so I can dream all I want. I appreciate your trying to help me even if you are just a product of my imagination."

Bob just smiled. "Well, I have been called worse, believe me."

"You are so nice. I think Ben would like to meet you, since you are a fellow Mountie."

The Mountie had a different smile. "I wish he could feel the same."

Linda yawned and laughed her little laugh. "It seems so funny I am sleepy. I am already asleep! This is such a strange dream."

Bob rose from the bed. "Perhaps it's time to get it over, then. Let you catch some sleep".

Linda rubbed her eyes. "Perhaps you are right. And if you do talk to Ben, please be sure to -"

She stopped talking when she  realized there was no one talking to her anymore.

"Bob?  Sergeant  Bob, are you there?"

Linda shrugged, thinking once again that this was a strange dream indeed and tried to sleep inside her sleep.

When Linda's breath was steady and deep, indicating she had resumed sleep,  Ilaqali raised from her cot in the floor and put some more wood in the fire. She got worried from hearing the  _ qallunaat _ talking to herself. The shaman would have to be informed about it.

** * * * **

The next night, Lind a had a strange feeling of  déja- v ù . When she woke up, alerted by her own voice yelling for Ben, it took her longer than usual to calm down. But she stayed quiet, trying hard not to cry. Alone again, in the night. At least that is what she thought.

Then the door opened, and a blast of icy cold wind came inside the cabin as well as some snow, followed by a figure covered in fur. Linda yelped in fear, and to her total surprise,  Ilaqali suddenly sprung from the side of her bed and positioned herself between Linda and the newly comer.

It only lasted a second, for the man raised his arms and his coat opened disclosing a familiar red serge uniform. Linda's heart almost leapt out of her chest. He was a Mountie! A real, live Mountie, not a dream one.

Linda could not help it. She had to ask, "Help me! Help me, please! Mr. Mountie, please! "

The man slowly took off his furred hat, revealing his old face, and as he opened his mouth to speak, the door opened again. It was the old man, who said something Linda could not understand, directly at  Ilaqali . The native woman responded, then the shaman said something else.  Ilaqali then took her coat, looked at Linda and smiled before she left her alone with the Mountie, the shaman following her.

"Sir", called Linda, trying to halt her tears. "Sir, please. I don't know who you are or why you are here, but you need to help me. Please, help me go home."

The Mountie took off his coat and grabbed the chair  Ilaqali used to feed Linda. "My name is  Ducan Frobisher, Ma'am, and I am here at the urge of Benton Fraser."

Linda's face lit up. "Ben called you? Is he coming?"

"He can't come, so he insisted I come as soon as I could. I am sorry I could not get here earlier. The old back, you know..."

Then Linda realized something he said. "You said your name was Frobisher? Are you related to one Buck Frobisher Ben kept talking about?"

The man seemed surprised. "Well, young lady, it so happens that I am also called Buck Frobisher".

Linda was awed. "You are the one who used to be partner with Ben's father? He told me so many stories about you."

Frobisher grew closer. "Benton seemed very worried about you, Ma'am."

"Please, call me Linda, sir. I am no Madam."

"Well, that is the polite thing to say, young lady. I am here to help you".

"Are you going to help me go home?"

"I bear a message from Benton. He wants you to know he is awfully tied up to duty right now, but he will be up here as soon as he can. Until then, you can rest assured that the shaman and the rest of the tribe will take good care of you."

Linda lowered her head. "I am so scared. They took me from my home, and I was so sick. It was so awful."

Frobisher came closer, saw the fear in the girl's green eyes. "Benton told me. It was really... unfortunate. But there is nothing to fear. You are among friends."

Linda raised her head to study his face. "You are a Mountie. Mounties don't lie. Besides, you used to be Ben's father partner. And Ben sent you."

The veteran Mountie  realized Linda was lining up all reasons to trust him. It was a decision she had to take by herself. Nevertheless, Buck Frobisher wondered what might have happened to such a young girl or why was she so unwilling to trust people.

As if reading his thoughts, Linda laughed. "Sorry about that. I was thinking aloud."

"I don't know what else I can say to convince you. These are good people. Their ways are different, and they seem to act strange, but they have goodness in their heart. Whatever happened to you, they want to try  and fix it. Make you better."

Linda sighed and tried to hold back the tears. "I can feel it. Deep inside, I believe they don't want to hurt me. And they say that Ben knows them, too. Ben would never have thought of sending me here if they were not friends. But I am so scared. They took me to Canada and never told Ben. How can I be sure they are who they say they are?"

"I know them. They are friends. If Benton were here, he would say that, too. He used to spend a lot of time here in this village. He has a friend here, named Eric."

Linda sighed. "They told me Eric is gone hunting, or something. Ben has told me about him, too. I am sorry if I seem so... reticent."

Frobisher raised his hand. "No problem. I am sure you have many things to sort out. But I must  apologize for entering like this. I understand it is quite early, and you probably  were asleep."

"Actually, sleeping is mostly what I do here, and I am beginning to get a little restless. Without my wheelchair, I cannot go anywhere. But you must be cold.  Ilaqali always leaves some water to make some tea. You can have some if you like."

"No, thank you. This cabin is reserved for you. The shaman is very  restrict ive  about it. He also insists you get most rest now. He expects a long treatment."

The girl shrugged. "I am not sure what he can do. Even the doctors were not sure they could help me."

Frobisher couldn't help it. "Benton did not tell me what happened to you. Do you mind if I ask? Would you like to talk about it?"

"I don't mind talking about it, sir. But it might take a while. Are you up to it?"

He smiled, and they talked. They talked for hours, like two old friends, and Linda seemed to relax much more.  Ilaqali returned and fed both of them with some beluga whale skin. Frobisher told Linda it was a delicacy indigenous of that region, and a sign of great  honor . Then they talked some more, this time almost ignoring  Ilaqali's presence in the room. The woman smiled, seeing Linda laughing freely with the other  _ qallunaat _ . The shaman would be pleased.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: qallunaat = non-Inuit people, in Inuktitut,


	11. Chapter 11

## Chapter 11

When Fraser locked up the Consulate that night, he was feeling actually tired. Tired, yet relieved in a way. For the first time since Linda had disappeared, he felt he might sleep  at night. That call from the shaman in the early afternoon had injected new life into him. She was safe, and out of Victoria's claws. It would be weeks until he could travel to meet her, but at least now he was sure she was safe.

Fraser was also anxious to get to the precinct and tell Ray the good news, but strangely the Italian had been unavailable the whole day. Fraser knew he should have told the police what happened, but he wanted to break the news to Ray first. The Mountie was beginning to get worried about his detective friend. Ray was so devastated on Linda's disappearance that even Mrs. Vecchio was starting to worry about her son. Fraser figured someone at the precinct would know what happened to Ray.

The moment the Consulate was secured and his feet returned to American soil, four men came upon Fraser. The Mountie  recognized all of them even before they came from the shadows  of the street lamp . He was intrigued about the two FBI agents, but not about the two detectives. So he greeted all of them.

"Ah, Detective Huey, Detective Dewey, fellow FBI officers. Good evening."

The cop did not share his smile neither his light mood.

"Fraser, we are here  on business."

"Of course. I myself was on my way to the precinct, detective, for I have the most astonishing piece of news you have ever  – "

The Fed interrupted him by basically  turning his body over so his partner Dieter could cuff him. "Constable Fraser, you are under the arrest for kidnap and murder of Linda Lyme."

Before Fraser could even recover for the shock, his Miranda rights were being cited to him. His head was spinning and he could hardly keep  up straight .

Then the Fed, whom he knew was agent Ford, flashed him a feral smile and mouthed in his ear quietly. "Thought you could fuck the loony girl all you want, then kill her and dump her somewhere when you grew tired of her? Well, think again,  _ Mountie boy _ ".

His blood boiled in seconds. It took Fraser every amount of control not to attack the man right there, handcuffed or not. His jaw twitched as he bit down a rep ly and almost missed Huey's quiet answer, before they took him away. "We are sorry, Fraser."

** * * * **

Being paraded handcuffed into the bullpen was not a new experience to Fraser, and this time he was relieved to find solidary looks from various cops around. He spotted a small crowd cramped in Welsh's office: a very upset lieutenant, an irate Ray  Vecchio , an angry-looking assistant DA Stella Kowalski, a visibly tired Dr.  Lennyard , and three men in black suits he did not know, but they all seemed to be arguing.

His arrival made the group stop their argument for a few minutes . As Fraser was taken to be booked, his eyes found Ray's from beyond the glass. Then he knew. He saw Ray's anger and pain, and knew his Italian friend was in as much trouble as he was. But Fraser couldn't say how much of a trouble Ray was. He had surmised that this surreal situation should be what the detective  would describe as  “ a sort of FBI  stupid mess” .

The  Mountie was still trying to cope with the fact that these people believed he killed Linda. They obviously did not know a thing. But since the assistant DA was in the precinct, it meant they were trying to form a case against him. What sort of evidence could they possibly have?

Fraser was taken to one of the interrogation rooms he knew so well. The Mountie could almost hear all adjacent rooms piling up with curious people behind the two-way mirror. Agent Ford came inside and relieved him of his handcuffs, meanwhile his partner took a seat across Fraser and Huey went to the other side of the room.

"Want some coffee? Tea?"

Fraser eyed the Fed, and for the second time that night summoned his control. "I want an explanation."

Ford went ballistic. "OK, Mountie,  you want an explanation? Fine;  let me explain this to you. We  _ ask _ you questions and  _ you _ answer them. Do you like this explanation?"

Huey reminded, "Fraser, you don't have to answer anything without a lawyer."

Fraser threw Huey a soft look. He knew the detective was being kept between a rock and a hard place in this situation. The FBI duo, however, looked ready to reduce the detective to little shreds of meat. Huey just shrugged. "It is his right."

Ford snarled. "He knows his right s . We  _ told _ him his rights. But you keep reminding him and I will have you thrown out of here."

"He might have forgotten his rights", Huey said, and he was never this cool. "Happens".

But the Mountie gave up that right. "I just want to establish the truth."

Ford returned his attention to Fraser. "Interesting you say that, because we both know that the truth is, you killed  the girl , right?"

"Why do you keep on saying that?"

"Perhaps we need to explain this to you one more time. We ask you questions, and you answer them. It is not the other way around. As a police officer , you should know that."

"This is totally absurd," stated Fraser clearly and calmly. "There is a number of people in this building that can confirm I would never do Linda any harm."

"There is also another number of people in this building that can confirm you have been trying to get rid of her."

"That is not true."

"Have you or have you not consulted her doctor about sending her to Canada allegedly to pursuit medical treatment?"

"It was not an allegation. That was the truth."

"So you confirm it?"

"I confirm I talked with her doctor about the possibility of going with her to Canada for a better medical treatment, yes."

"And yet the only person you called in Canada was a friend of yours in some Indian tribe of the Territories, someone who had no medical skills whatsoever. You never called a hospital or  any neurological clinic."

Fraser was beginning to get upset. "I was calling on a friend."

"Do you deny you discussed Miss Lyme's medical situation with this friend of yours?"

"Of course not."

"And yet you did so, despite the fact that he had no medical skills."

"As I said, I was talking to a  _ friend _ ."

"And did you inquire him about a traditional healer of his tribe?"

"Yes, I did, because my intention was to heal Linda. I felt that some traditional medicine might improve her condition."

"But if this traditional medicine ended up killing her, then you would be rid of her, wouldn't you, Constable?"

"It was not my intention."

"Really? Because it surely does  _ not _ look like you had the intention to heal Miss Lyme, Constable. As a matter of fact, when this healer called you earlier today and informed you that Miss Lyme's condition was bad and she needed you, you flatly refused to go, alleging duty. Do you believe this is the attitude of a man interested in healing his girlfriend?"

Fraser's jaw was set. He was holding himself so tight his muscles w ere aching. "Sir, if you heard the conversation, as I believe you did, then you know I tried to amend the situation by sending someone  – "

"Yes, yes, the old Mountie," interrupted Ford. "Someone she had never seen before."

"I have told her plenty of times about Sergeant Frobisher. He is an old friend of my family. She knows who he is, even though they had never met in person."

"Yes, so I read in his files. He is also a little bit... odd. He could hardly help someone in her condition, don't you think?"

Fraser sighed, in silent desperation. How long would this charade continue? And more importantly, why?

Ford got near him and mouthed to his ear, hissing every word. "Get this through your thick Canadian skull, Mountie: we know what you did, and we will not let you get away with it. So, you could save yourself a lot of time in jail by just confessing what you and your accomplice did."

Fraser could not help but to shoot him an intrigued look. Then he  realized what Ford meant. 

Ray. 

They wanted to implicate  _ Ray _ .

That piece of information sent Fraser's brain reeling. For some reason, the Feds also wanted Ray in jail. It could be some old score to settle from the time Ray was undercover. Or maybe before. It could go deeper than that, and Fraser felt he did not have all the facts.

Suddenly, Huey's advice made all sense. That was what the detective was trying to tell Fraser. But what could one single Mountie do?

"I ’ve changed my mind."

"So you will co operate?"

"I meant about the tea."

Ford glared at Fraser, then gestured to his partner. The man reluctantly raised from his chair and slowly moved to the door. When he opened it, Fraser moved with stunning speed. 

Next thing Ford knew was his body connecting to Huey's, and both were on the floor, while Fraser flung himself out of the interrogation room, also knocking the second FBI agent to the floor and two other cops on the process. Chaos ensued.

Everything seemed to be happening in slow motion All hell broke loose in the precinct, but the crazed Mountie made it to the bullpen, even though there were at least three cops chasing him, while it seemed everybody else was shouting. Even the small crowd on Welsh's room came out to look, Ray's green eyes wide. His eyes met Fraser's.

And time seemed to stand still once again.

Eventually, two police officers worked in tandem to tackle the Canadian, but in the end it took all five cops, a couple more detectives and several long minutes to subdue the Mountie, while the whole precinct watched the commotion. Fraser never uttered a sound, not as he ran around the bullpen, not when he was tackled and thrown to the ground, then forcefully brought to his feet, this time with his hands cuffed.

Ford swam the sea of cops until he was face to face with the Canadian. The feral smile was back in his FBI face.  He stuck his finger in Fraser’s chest,  eyes sparkling with sadistic pleasure .  "You will pay for this, Mountie. Now you are  _ really _ in trouble."

Fraser panted in silence, his blood rushing with adrenaline as he was roughly spun by his shoulders and dragged again to the interrogation room.  His eyes surreptitiously scanned the room, and this time he could not find Ray.

Inwardly, he smiled, before he was push ed to move back to the holding area.


	12. Chapter 12

## Chapter 12

"I don't believe you, Ray! Why did you make me come all the way to Mrs. DeMarco just for a stupid phone call?"

Ray's voice sounded tense. " Frannie , I need you to shut up and listen. I am in trouble."

Frannie snorted. "Right, you got a girl pregnant or something?"

Ray sighed and made his best effort not to explode in the telephone. This was not the time to argue with his sister. "Francesca, please, I need your help."

The tone in Ray's voice made  Frannie stop talking. The fact that Ray was not shouting at her or picking at her informed instantly that his brother was in real trouble. "Ray, what is wrong?"

"You will know soon enough. Listen, I need you to take care of Ma, OK? Tell her I  gotta make it clear on my own. Now I need your help, with no question asked. Can you do that?"

"Ray, I don't understand– "

"I am asking if you can do that,  Frannie . That is all I need to know."

"OK, OK! You are scaring me, Ray."

"Fine, then. Here is what I need you to do. You go to the shoe repair shop near that lingerie shop you like so much, and ask for Mr.  Paducci , Joe  Paducci . Tell him it is for Fraser and me. We are in trouble and we need to borrow his credit card. Make sure you have not been followed,  Frannie . After that, you take the card to Father  Biehan , along with all money you can get until five o' clock. I will pay you back later. Did you get it?"

"Oh, my God, Ray. What have you done this time?"

" Frannie ! Did. You. Get. It?"

"I  got it , I did ! What did you say about Ma? And why aren't you telling me what this is all about?"

"I want you to take care of her, OK? It is better that you don't know. That way you cannot get involved,  Frannie ."

"Ray",  Frannie's voice almost disappeared. "You are scaring the hell out of me."

"It will be OK,  Frannie . Everything is going to be a ll  right. I  gotta go, now."

"Take care, Ray. Remember I will have to answer Ma if anything happens to you."

"I will remember that,  Frannie ."

Then he hung up, still shaking. The adrenaline rush he was on still had not settled down since he sneaked out of the 27th precinct in the middle of the confusion created by Fraser. It would be his only chance and he knew it.

He was a cop. He had no business to get away like a criminal and look for a place to lay low, running and hiding, looking over his shoulder to see if someone was following him. But Ray knew this was the only way, given the circumstances.

From all he heard during the time he was inside Welsh's office, it seemed the Feds were on the verge of framing Fraser. The phone conversation they heard (illegally, as Stella Kowalski pointed out) told them Linda was somewhere in the frozen armpit of Canada, and yet they arrested Fraser for murdering her, with flimsy accusations. Thing was, Ray  knew he was going to be held up under  similar charges. When Fraser opened the door for his escape, he did not hesitate and jumped at the chance, because only by bringing Linda back to Chicago in one piece would get them out of the Feds mess.

In a second's fraction, he knew he had to leave his beloved  Riv behind. The other fraction was all the time he had to grab Stella's purse and suitcase, so he could have her car keys and cell phone. The Feds probably had already tapped his own mobile phone, so it was useless. Ray's good star also made him dump Stella's car near Union Station, then take the El until St. Michael's church and ask Father  Biehan for shelter, at least until he could get  Frannie's money and Mr.  Paducci's credit card. He would not get any of Mr.  Paducci's money. Ray needed only a credit card that could not be directly traceable when he rented a car.  Frannie's , Tony's or Maria's would lead the Feds straight to him.

He did not talk to  Frannie when she came to the church, and felt his eyes watering at the way she looked worried about him. Maybe the cops had not come by the house yet. Then he thanked the good father, took the money and ran. As fast as he could. He would be driving for days through secondary roads, avoiding main ones and barriers. Due  n orth, of course. 

Green Bay,  Wisconsin ,  would be his first stop.

** * * * **

It was such a relief for Linda. Even though it had been only a few days since she arrived in the native village, it seemed weeks since she could remember being so relaxed. All this, she knew was due to Buck Frobisher's presence there. He was a bit odd, perhaps  eccentric, but she felt good around him. They shared stories about Frasers, both father and son,  realizing they had plenty in common.

So it should have been no wonder that a mix of desperation and sadness hit Linda when Frobisher announced he was leaving. She knew a Mountie's duty was his life, and she did not insist with the older man to stay a bit longer. Also, Linda politely and heartily thanked him for his company and everything. She even  realized she was feeling a little bit better. But she was quite sad, for now she probably would be left alone again.

The next day, right after her morning bath and breakfast, one of the boys came in. Linda tensed instinctively, but the youngster turned to  Ilaqali and exchanged a few words with her. The woman nodded and started to dress Linda with some heavy coats. The young man, probably David, although Linda could not be sure of his name, explained. "The old man wants to see you. I will take you to him."

Before Linda could say anything, she was already wrapped in furs and coats, a cap was put on her head, and her legs were encircled in pure caribou skin.  Ilaqali made room so David could lift her up in his arms. 

"You are heavier."

Linda blushed,  realizing all those meals based on various meats and no exercise probable made her gain weight. In seconds, though, those thoughts fled her, when David proceeded across the door and brought her out.

It was the first time she could see what was outside the cabin she was in. Her first impression was the brightness of the clean and pristine snow on the ground, and it was thick and heavy. Linda realized she could not possibly be in Chicago. It wouldn't be this cold that time of year: it was still summer there! As she was carried to a nearby house, she looked around and saw a few huts, one wooden cabin (the one she was in), some piles of rocks farther away and a whole bunch of trailers. There were also dogs (she had heard their barking before) and sleds parked around, a few snowmobiles. The air was sharp and icy cold, and there was a faint odor of smoke from the chimneys. Then Linda could see no more, for she was taken inside a house.

David set her sitting at a chair of a living room not much dissimilar to her own in Chicago. Across the table the shaman was smiling at her. "Hello. Do you feel  better ?"

"I am fine, thank you," replied Linda, shiny eyes filled with curiosity.

"Would you like some tea?"

"Yes, please. I do feel a little cold."

"That is good," he said. "I will fetch you a cup."

When they were drinking their tea, the shaman thanked David thoroughly and indicated he would call him again to carry Linda back to the cabin. The girl was surprised when the shaman said, "We were trying to get you a wheelchair, but it was no good in the village. So David volunteered to carry you around, hoping to amend for what he has put you through."

"That is very nice", said Linda. "Thank you, David."

The young man nodded without another word, then left. Linda cleared her throat and said. "I also should say I am ashamed of my previous  behavior . I was unfair to you, to  Ilaqali and the boys. I was very scared and treated all of you badly. I am sorry."

The shaman smiled and brought her some more of the herbal tea Linda was used to drink with Ben. "I am glad you are feeling better.  Ilaqali told me the Mountie's visit did you a world of good. She was worried that you would get very sad."

Linda sipped the hot liquid before replying, "Yes, I was very sad. I also need to ask for  Ilaqali's forgiveness. My  behavior was inexcusable, and she was so kind to me. Can you tell her that? That I am very grateful for all she has been doing to me?"

"Of course I will tell her that. She will be very happy, I am sure. As I said, she was worried about you."

"Tell her she doesn't need to worry anymore. Right now I want to get better so I can go home. I miss Ben terribly."

The shaman's voice was soft and reassuring, as if he was talking to a five-year old child. "I think we are almost ready to begin the treatment. Do you know what we do in traditional healing?"

"No, not really. Ben mentioned the use of herbs, communion with nature and other things. I did not understand much. I guess it is different from a doctor, isn't it?"

"Yes, it is. In your case, we will be using also a sweat lodge. Do you know what it is?"

"No. Ben mentioned it, but I don't know what it is."

"It is a sacred place, used for spiritual healing. We use  vapors and herbs in a very hot place, so bad things from your spirit can be purged from your body through meditation and sweat. Do you understand?"

Linda was somewhat confused. "I am not sure I do."

The old man smiled at her simplicity. "Don't worry about it. You will be just fine. Now I thought we could talk a while."

"Talk?"

"I thought we could know each other. Your name is Linda, right?"

"Yes. And yours?"

There was a soft laughter from the old man. "I am sorry I cannot divulge. You see, as shaman, my name holds powers, and they cannot be used lightly."

Linda's eyes widened as she heard that. "Really?"

He shrugged. "That is the tradition. It is also said we  shamans  can fly at night."

The girl was awed. "Wow. Can you really do that?"

He smiled and shrugged. "That is what the tradition says."

Linda eye d him suspiciously. "And you will not tell me no matter how many times I ask you, right?"

This time the shaman laughed harder. "You are very smart. It is amazing what you can do once you are no longer afraid, isn't it?"

"Yes," said Linda. "I guess I learned that. But I should explain that there were reasons for me to be afraid, reasons that have nothing to do with you. That is why I am so ashamed of my  behavior . I treated you badly because of my own fears, not for your actions."

The shaman nodded silently, then refilled her cup of tea once more and asked. "I would like to hear more about it. Can you tell me?"

"Ok. What do you want to know?"

"What are you afraid? What is that fear you keep talking about?"

Linda sighed, lowered her head then whispered, "It was a woman. She gave me a drug and then I could not walk anymore." It was hard to talk about it. Linda thought she had forgot about all the fear and hurt and anger Victoria brought her, but she was wrong. It still hurt like hell.

The shaman sighed, then shifted his cup of tea to reach her hands gently. In an equally gently voice, he reassured, "You can tell me all about it."

Linda stared at him, her eyes searching his face and finding compassion and friendship. She did not  realize she was crying until the old man lifted his hand to wipe her tears from her face. In a matter of minutes, Linda was pouring her heart to him.

The healing had begun.

** * * * **

It was ironic that Ray should make a stop in that town. As far as he knew that was Fraser's only posting out of the Territories, and he couldn't handle it  – too many people, the Mountie had complained at the time.

To Ray, Moose Jaw seemed to be the proverbial little town, and there was no way he could blend in,  especially with that  very  American car with American plates from Wisconsin. All he could do was try to lay as low as possible and keep on his journey north.

He had avoided coming in from Regina, in Highway 1. Instead, he came in from Bushel Pack, in road 2, after crossing the frontier in some frozen forgotten place in Montana until he came to an even more forgotten place that went by the name of Killdeer.

Ray was beaten. He had been driving for more than 20 hours straight and, at the last minute, decided to get a room in a very visible hotel/motel/hostel in downtown Moose Jaw. The Midtown Swiss Motor Inn had plenty of room to hide the Corona he was driving, and it was as well his first best hope for rest. It succeeded. It suited Ray that the inn was only two blocks from Main Street. Looking at the map, he chuckled at the name of the town's second largest street: Caribou Street.

It was a miracle he had made it so far without being spotted. He was sure there were barriers on highways for him. He consulted the map he had bought somewhere in North Dakota and decided  – it would be best if he could skip Calgary and Edmonton  altogether tomorrow. He tried not to think about Fraser in a holding cell, or Linda in the frozen armpit of the North. He had to get there as soon as he could.

Then sleep claimed Ray Vecchio, currently posing as Mr. Paducci.

** * * * **

"You must be the most annoying man in the world!"

Fraser smiled sadly at Agent Ford. "So I have been told."

"You and  Vecchio had a plan, hadn't you? Where is he now?"

"I have no idea."

The FBI agent sighed, opened his suit and placed both hands in his waist, frustrated. "Constable, you said you would be co-operative this time."

"I said I would answer your questions. May I point out that I am indeed answering your questions against my legal counsellor's advice?" Fraser almost snorted to  refer the public defendant sent for him as guise of legal counsellor. Turnbull was still trying to get a decent attorney for his case. The Canadian could not avoid a sigh. The Inspector would have a field day when she returned from that training seminar.

His sigh was misinterpreted. "Don't you fiddle with me, Mountie," snarled Ford. "We can make your life really miserable."

Fraser bit back a reply to the insult. As long as they were trying to get him to talk, Ray would have a chance to reach the village and end this nightmare. But there was something amiss. Fraser could feel it, but couldn't quite put his finger on it.

Something was going on, that was for sure. And he was beginning to believe not even the FBI agents knew what was really going on .

.


	13. Chapter 13

## Chapter 13

Coming to think of it, Linda came to the conclusion that there was something in that tea the shaman offered her the day before. Ben had once told her of the powerful herbs used by the healers, and she felt she had been introduced to them, for many reasons.

During their talk, Linda had been able to open up in a way she did not experience since she found out she could not walk. She cried a lot, because she did not have to hide her true feelings anymore. At home, she was always careful not to hurt Ben. She never let it show when she was feeling depressed, angry or tired. Linda knew Ben still felt very guilt y about what Victoria had done, so she spared him and bottled up her feelings. With the shaman, she was able to let it all out. As Ray would say, those were some huge waterworks. She cried, and cried until she grew tired. Then the shaman called David, who took her back to the cabin. She fell asleep right away.

Linda woke up a little bit sleepy, but not restless as usual. Her night had been one of the best ever she had spent in Canada: not even once she had woken up,  nor screaming for Ben. Her dreams were not clear, but she knew they had been soothing and peaceful, as if there were angels taking care of her in her sleep.

One of those angels was looking at her when she opened up her eyes.  Ilaqali smiled at Linda and caressed her, as she usually did. Only this time Linda smiled back and kissed her hand, not knowing how to convey her gratitude to the native woman.  Ilaqali raised her eyebrows then grinned even more .

Linda sat up and pointed at her. " Ilaqali ". Then she pointed the finger at her own chest. "Linda."

Ilaqali seemed to understand, for she took Linda's hand and guided it to her chest. " Ilaqali ." Then she put the hand in Linda's chest. "Linda". Both women smiled and hugged each other. Linda wished she could tell  Ilaqali how very grateful she was for her nursing, her care and tenderness.

While Linda was having breakfast, David showed up, exchanged a few words with  Ilaqali and then announced to Linda. "I will be back later."

"OK."

Ilaqali waited for Linda to finish the meal (made of berries and some smoked meat Linda didn't care to know) and began to dress her in heavy coating. Linda tried to ask, in gestures, if she would not bathe her, as she usually did in the mornings.  Ilaqali indicated the bath would be later.

David took her to the shaman, but this time they met on a different location. It was a cave, and the mouth was covered with  homemade blankets and caribou skin. Inside, there was a bonfire, and the shaman was stirring something in the pot as David took Linda inside. The old man seemed pleased to see them. "Good, you are here."

Linda was put in the ground, still wrapped in a bundle of clothes and blankets. David got out of the cave, and the shaman turned his attention to a small tray with burning coal set onto the bonfire. He held out some leafs and showed Linda. "These are traditional healing herbs. I will put them in the fire, and they will produce smoke. You can inhale the smoke, and it will  do you no harm. Quite the contrary, the smoke will help you get into the spiritual world. There your healing will begin."

Linda had her eyes wide. "Spiritual world? How will I get there?"

The shaman's voice was patient and clear. "It will seem like a dream. I will help you through the process. But today is only a first step. Remember: your healing will not begin until your spiritual guide leads you in the spirit world."

"I don't understand." Linda was getting alarmed.

"There is nothing to be afraid. This is the traditional way of healing. It begins like this."

"Can you explain it to me once more?"

"Today is the first time you go in the spiritual world. That is the place where you will begin to heal. Your spirit guide will appear to you and then you will begin to heal. This will not happen today."

"And what will happen today?"

"Today you will take what you need. For that, you will get in the spiritual word. It often appears as a huge door, or a smoke curtain, or some sort of passage, so you can get in there.  Once you get there , you take what you need."

"Pardon me? I don't understand that 'taking what I need' part … "

"Your body is ill because your spirit is ill. It is ill because it has needs that are not being met. Now is the time to begin taking what your spirit needs."

"How will I know what it is and how much of it I need?"

The shaman smiled. "You will know, and you will get just what you need, as long as you have no fear. Can you do that?"

Linda took a deep breath and said. "I can try, sir. That is all I can promise."

His smile grew wider. "That is all that is required. Remember I will be here in the real world, should you need anything. You will never be alone."

Linda smiled, feeling reassured. "Thank you."

"That is what we do. You close your eyes and I will put the herbs on the fire. You keep your eyes closed and wait. Don't worry about falling asleep. It will be all right. Now, please, close your eyes and just try to breathe, so you can inhale the smoke."

A little expectantly, Linda obeyed. In minutes, her nostrils picked up the smoke and the pungent scent coming from those herbs. Through her closed eyelids, she concentrated on the smell and noises, such as the crack of the leaves in the fire, or the quiet ruffling of the fur clothes she was wearing.

Suddenly, even  though her closed eyelids, she saw what seemed to be a curtain of smoke.  _ The shaman was right _ . Linda thought of crossing it, and no sooner she thought, she was at the other side of the curtain.

Strangely, Linda felt the urge to look at her feet, and to her surprise she discovered herself standing up on her own legs. She was so amazed she wriggled her toes, laughing. "I can walk!" She hopped a little, happily. "I can walk again!"

"This is the spiritual word. Here there is none of the physical boundaries of the real world."

Linda shivered as she  recognized the voice behind her and turned to see if she was delirious. No, she wasn't. It was Benton Fraser, standing right behind her, smiling softly at her. She threw herself in his arms.

"Oh, Ben!"

She felt his arms gently wrapping her, his warmth all around her  trembling body. Linda did not  realize she was crying until she felt his fingers wiping the tears from her face. As she wept, his hands were caressing her back soothingly, his lips were showering the top of her head with small kisses. She thought  she  could barely speak, but when she opened her lips, her words were clear.

"I missed you so much, Ben. How I missed you."

"I am sorry. You know I wanted to be here."

Suddenly Linda snapped her head to face him, swallowing a sob. "Aren't you here now?"

The blue spheres danced in front of her, his hands bringing hers to his lips. "This is the spiritual world. Neither of us is here, but both of us are." Seeing the confusion in her face, he merely smiled. "Don't worry about it,  my  love. I am here now."

"This has to be a dream. You are here and I can walk. Either this is a dream or the shaman is using some of those  hellu \-  halli \- I mean, hallucinogenous things you told me about."

"Hallucinogenic," he corrected. "But don't worry about it. I am here for you, that is the only thing that matters."

She rested her head in his chest, sighing happily. "That was all I was praying for. I love you so much, Ben."

Ben grabbed her shoulders and made her face him. Linda shuddered, seeing his eyes almost turning indigo with desire. He pushed her even closer to his body and whispered, "Take what you need".

Then he leaned in and crushed his lips onto hers in a demanding, passionate kiss. Ben plundered Linda's mouth with a looter's appetite, tasting tongue, teeth, palate, gums, and all he could taste. The girl sensed her desire flaring through her body, and attacked the kiss with matched intensity, her hands tangling on his dark hair as their bodies shared the common heat.

When Ben's lips left hers, she was still trying to catch her breath. She opened her eyes to find him with his hand extended to her, his most charming smile in his lips and startlingly blue eyes shimmering at her. "Come with me."

Linda was dizzy with passion, and needed no further invitation to take his hand and thought she would be led to a bed that had  materialized out of nowhere. Instead, Fraser  grabbed her hand and swept her off her feet with a swift movement. Everything was so sudden Linda only  realized what had happened when she found herself lying on the bed and a beautiful Canadian face hovering above her, eyes gleaming with lust. Linda felt her skin tingling.

On all fours, body above hers, Ben delivered a series of small kisses on the side of her neck, making Linda close her eyes and shiver in delight. "You won't ask for what you need", he purred. "But I will give it to you anyway."

Unable to answer, as his mouth still travelled all over her neck and throat, Linda just moaned, her head spinning with the sensations her body seemed to have forgotten. Ben's husky voice returned to her ear, and this time it was almost hoarse. "You don't need slow lovemaking. Your body needs much more than that. I am  gonna fuck you the way you need. I know you don't hear me saying those words, but you need them right now."

Linda was so aroused she could hardly get shocked. Besides, Ben began taking off her clothes and pressing his hands and mouth at every patch of skin exposed to him. Linda was also busy, trying to get his shirt off, then working on his pants as her mouth tried to capture his. Feelings overloaded, senses on  hyper mode , Linda yelped loud as his lips locked on her nipples, hands cupping her breasts. She ran her fingers in his head, and pulled him against her twin mounds, feeling the wetness increasing between her legs.

Ben drew back from her breasts and practically tore off her pants and panties, pushing them away as he rid himself of his own pants. Now they were both lying naked, panting, their sexes dripping fluids. Ben pressed his hard rock cock against Linda's belly, and she sneaked her hand between their bodies to grab it.

"No!" He stopped her, grabbing both her wrists suddenly and joining them above her head in the bed. In a reflex she squirmed, but could not get free from his touch. Their eyes met, and incredible as it seemed, Linda felt desire flaring throughout her body in such a fashion she feared she might die at the spot.

Greedy blue eyes stared into her green ones. "I want you." Ben's voice was so altered he was almost growling. "Now." Definitely a snarl.

"Yes", she breathed. "Please."

Never freeing her from his grasp, Ben used his knees to part her legs and entered her in one swift and precise movement, making Linda arch from the bed with an uncontrollable howl and causing her an instant, shattering orgasm. At least four of them followed the first one, as Ben began to pound his flaming cock inside her willing body.

Few times in the real world had Linda experienced so many intense sensations as that magical moment. Filled and complete, she took Ben's thrusting fully and used her legs to match them, trying to coax him to orgasm. But it was she who climaxed one more time, this time her muscles making Ben meet sexual bliss. Linda felt his seed pouring inside her very core and almost climaxed again.

He collapsed beside her with a scream loud enough to wake up the dead. Panting, Linda raised her legs so that she was all curled up against his hot skin, feeling his heart pounding inside his chest, trying to catch her breath. She mouthed h is name, but the oxygen was not there, so nothing was heard. Except...

"Don't think this stops here, little lady".

The possessive tone Ben pronounced those words made Linda shiver in arousal, and once more she found herself being rolled over on her stomach and his larger male body over hers. Kisses were bestowed all over her back, making Linda shudder with desire. Her legs were already spread, her lower body was moving, hips craving the contact with Ben's already erect penis. Also, she was totally excited again, feeling her body in flames. It was impossible, but apparently that the laws of physics did not apply in the spiritual world.

Then that hoarse voice sounded again. "Say it, Linda. Tell me what you want."

It was sheer torture. "Ben, please", she whimpered.

"I want to hear it."

"Inside me," Linda blurted. "Please, Ben, take me!"

The urgency in her voice was matched by the force of the hands that grabbed her hips and pushed her body in an attempt to touch his throbbing sex. Something about this whole situation made Linda wild with desire and totally unable to control herself. Her brain was turned into pudding and her whole body seemed to be one huge nerve ending, now capable of sensing things she thought were gone and lost forever. The wetness between her thighs increased as she  realized Ben was playing with her, pressing his cock all over her juicy folds and using his hands to rub her clit, teasing, enticing, making her groin alive. Linda  w iggled,  squirmed,  babbled endlessly and saw stars behind her eyes, her breathing almost forgotten, her head dizzy.  _ Ohmygoohmygodohmygod _

" BennyBennyBennyBennyBennyBennyBennyBenny "

When Ben finally entered her, she climaxed so long and so hard someone might think she was having some sort of seizure. Her body was charged up to the point she might have had a series of orgasms packed up in one point, and she shrieked of pure pleasure before nearly passing out. Her muscles turned to liquid, her body went limp, and it took her several minutes to remember how to restart the process of breathing. 

Linda became aware of herself again when she felt soft warm lips roaming through her stomach. She did not remember turning over again on her back, or being sprawled over the bed. Looking down, Linda saw Benton intently pressing his lips all over her skin, his hands moving down to her legs, gentle caresses alternated with rough desire. This was not the first time he did that. However, now she could feel it. She shivered just to think about this.

Ben kept on kissing her body, rekindling sensations the paralysis prevented her from registering. Linda also felt free from her need to deny her body's needs. He looked up at her, eyes twinkling, then he smiled and did not stop bestowing kisses, heading down. "I love you."

Linda smiled dreamily. "I love you, too."

More kissing below her navel. "I want you." Sweet kissing at the top of her left thigh. "I want to make you scream." Kissy-kissing on her right thigh. "Let me make you scream."

She laughed softly. "Ben, I don't think we can take any more of this." But Linda was much aware of his caresses quite near her pleasure  center . There was a slow but steady stirring of arousal in her groin, and Ben took a firm position with his head between her legs.  _ Oh, Lord, please help me. _ "Benny, we can't possibly... Oh..."

"Here we can". Ben spread her legs wider, lowered his head and licked the inside of her thighs, making her hiss. "We can do everything here." Now he nibbled lightly and Linda shuddered, her breathing already altered as she moaned helplessly. She was getting aroused again. And she could hardly believe it.

"Oh, Ben. What are you doing to me?"

Did she say it loud?

"I am fucking you. I intend to keep  on  fucking you."

Did he really answer that? And why was he flashing her that sly grin?

Linda thought it was a very, very weird dream, but it was so full of wonderful sensations she did not want to wake up. On the other hand, there was a chance the shaman might  –

"Ben!"

All Linda's thoughts dissolved instantly when a rough and mobile Mountie tongue reached her wet sex and sent her straight to a state of total excitement. Linda expected those tissues to be tender and sensitive due to the recent over-activity, but that was not so. She could not help but buck her hips as Ben started licking her velvety folds one by one, causing her to moan loud and clear. After that, he sucked gently, and she drew her  head back, arching her body, unable to contain herself. But when he raised his hand and used the tip of his thumb to rub her clit without stopping his expert tongue inside her moist crevasse, then she could not help but scream. 

"Oh, God,  _ Ben!" _

Without warning or control, Linda came with a howl, and automatically, used both hands to shove Ben's head towards her even though she was bucking her hips. Meanwhile he succeeded in avoiding being suffocated inside her very core, he greedily licked her hidden places, exposing all her treasures and plundering them as the looter he became. Defeated, Linda laid back, panting, exhausted and sated. She did not have the strength to do anything else but try to breathe.

Ben crawled up her body and kissed her deeply, his breath exhaling the mixed scent of Linda's juices and his own sperm. He enveloped her in his arms as their kiss deepened, but this time it had no urgency. It was just a kiss, reassuring and comforting.

Linda felt so safe and so warm that she didn't care if this whole situation was real or not. She needed that. She had been in need of that that since Victoria took Ben away.  Finally, she felt alive again. Because Benny was with her, she was alive.

When their lips parted, Linda snuggled to rest her head in his chest, the soft sound of his Mountie heartbeat lulling her to sleep. Then she struggled. "No, I don't want to sleep".

Ben took a lock of her hair and toyed with it in his fingers. "If you are tired, you must sleep."

She raised her head and locked green eyes into his blue ones. "I want to be with you, Ben. I love you so much."

He smiled with his eyes, something that always made Linda melt to her very core. "I love you, too, and that is why I think you should rest. There is so much to do, and you will need the strength."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean the treatment is about to begin. The shaman explained it to you."

Linda stifled a yawn, and then smiled. "Most of the times he has to explain me everything twice or three times. He talks funny."

"You  will get used to it. Now rest, my l ove, please."

Her sleepy eyes tried to maintain their focus on him, and she smiled goofily.

There was nothing Ben asked her that she could deny him. But she clutched to him. "Don't leave me alone. Stay with me."

Ben tightened his grip on her. "I will be here as long as you need me. You are never alone. Remember that all the time."

Her eyes were drooping close and she could hardly say a word. "...'kay". She felt his gentle kiss on the top of her head and tried to mumble. " L u vya forever , Benny."

And darkness claimed her.

** * * * **

Fraser was surprised to be taken to the visitor's area in jail and  to  find himself inside a booth  with Dr.  Lennyard at the other side of the glass . The psychiatrist had the phone in his hand and motioned Fraser to get his.

"Dr.  Lennyard ."

"Constable, I... thought much before coming here. But I need to know."

"Sir?"

"Did you do it? Did you really kill her?"

Fraser was shocked and angry for about three seconds. Then he  recognized the look in the psychiatrist's eyes and sighed. "No. I would never do such a thing."

It was the doctor's turn to let out a sigh of relief. "That is what I thought. I always believe d it, but lately... I had to be sure. I hope you understand."

"Yes. The way they have been questioning me, I was beginning to doubt it myself."

"They have been questioning me, too. They didn't even want me to come here, but I forced them. They know about your suggestion to take her to Canada, and made all kinds of insinuations, leading me to wrong thoughts. I know you do care about her."

Fraser considered carefully the doctor's words. He knew the call could be monitored. Actually, it most certainly was monitored. So his replies should be very careful. "Thank you, sir."

"Is it true about that traditional healing? Were you willing to do that?"

"Yes, doctor. I still believe it can do her a world of good. At least, it is a less obtrusive therapy, and she will suffer less."

The doctor smiled ruefully. "I don't think I would have ever permitted that. I wonder what is going on in her head right now."

"The shaman called me, and said she was a little bit frightened, but it was only because she was alone, and believed to have been kidnapped. I am confident she is being very well-treated, Dr.  Lennyard ."

"I sure hope you are right, Constable. When will Detective  Vecchio bring her back?"

Fraser faked surprise. "Ray? Has he gone after her?"

The doctor was not even flustered by the insult. "You know very well he escaped the police when you did your little act a few days ago."

The Canadian insisted not to acknowledge the  fact. "If he escaped the police, don't you think that would be the last place he'd go? He'd be caught faster."

"Constable, I won't insist. I just hope Detective Vecchio realizes Linda might be traumatized, and it can bear badly on his situation."

"Doctor, you know Ray would never  jeopardize Linda in any way. If he went to Canada, as you claim he did, then he will protect Linda with his life to make sure she is safe. She will be fine."

"I hope you are right, Constable". The doctor lowered his voice threateningly. "Otherwise, if something happens to her, if a single hair on her head gets hurt... God help you, Constable Fraser, because I will sue you, the RCMP, the shaman, his whole tribe and the entire government of Canada with everything American law has to offer, including sexual abuse and human trafficking. Is that clear?"

It took Fraser several seconds to recover from the shock of Dr.  Lennyard's words. He had never seen the good doctor so protective of Linda before. "Crystal clear, Sir."

Dr.  Lennyard hung the phone up, then raised from his chair, his eyes never leaving Fraser's. Suddenly, the Mountie  realized the doctor also knew they were being monitored and had given the people trying to frame Fraser something to work on. Fraser almost smiled as he found out another friend trying to help them.

The psychiatrist turned and left the room, conscious of the baby blue eyes staring at his retreating back. When Fraser was taken back to the holding area, his heart was actually lighter. 

** * * * **

When Linda woke up, there was no Benny around her. She was back at the cave, and felt the air a bit hot due to a  piece of burning coal near her. Sleepily, she tried to stand up. Her legs would not work, and she was back to the harsh reality. It hit her like a ton of rocks. She literally let herself fall again in the ground covered in blankets, ready to weep for hours.

"Are you ready to go to the cabin now?"

Linda startled a little  – she had not seen the shaman behind her, and tried to compose herself. "Yes, sir." With great effort, she sat up, her unwilling legs being dragged over the blankets.

The old man was smiling at her.  "I will call David.  Ilaqali will have your dinner ready by the time you get there."

The girl watched the tribesman step out of the cave in amusement. Dinner? She had arrived there at the crack of dawn. Where did the rest of the day go? And what was that strange smell?

Her hair had the pungent  odor of the herbs used to produce the trance. Looking at herself, Linda saw her clothes in disarray and straightened them the best she could. Her  body was aching, her head throbbing. If that was what she would feel before the treatment even began,  perhaps it was time to dread the healing procedures.

However, Linda had no way of avoiding the old man's treatment, and she would have to endure it. Hell, she had endured the dreadful spinal fluid taking sessions . W hat could be so scary about some Inui t trance?

Maybe the awful part was not the physical part in itself. She had clear memory of everything that happened during the trance, but shoved them to the back of her mind. She could not think of that now. The feelings evoked in the spiritual world had been so profound that Linda could not deal with them.

"You try to rest as much as you can. I can see it was an intense session."

Linda did not know where she found politeness no answer. "Yes, I guess so."

David went inside and this time asked, "Ready?"

"Yes, David, thank you."

Linda was absolutely absent. She barely registered being taken to the cabin in the dark of night, and was expressionless as  Ilaqali greeted her. The bath, a ritual Linda had always participated, was nothing more than a pale memory in her mind.  Ilaqali had also to force-feed Linda. Even though this time the meat was boiled and not raw, the girl was totally away. She just was not hungry, and tried to fall into sleep.

All attempts were in vain. There were memories of Ben's hands on her body, and of Ben's lips everywhere, and though  those had been joyous moments at the time, now  they were hurtful. It hurt even more that they had just been illusions. Life was so unfair. Linda made a physical effort not to cry, because she knew it would be the start of a long and heartfelt weeping. If she let it start, there was no way it could be controlled. So she just bottled up all her feelings and tossed away through most of the night.

After what seemed to be hours of those awful thoughts, Linda almost buried herself under the thick covers to try to stifle a sob. She was not successful. After the first sob, the emotional wound bleeding in her chest felt even worse, and she could  no longer contain the tears. Too bad, because in a matter of minutes  her face was all wet,  she was  unable to breath e and  felt  even more confused than before.

Then  Linda felt herself being pulled in a very warm embrace. Startled, she tried to focus on the one who was cuddling her. It was  Ilaqali , who also had tears in her pitch black eyes. They spoke nothing, but Linda saw the love and tenderness in the native woman and felt so grateful she clung herself to the round body of the Tsimshian woman, who whispered sweet nothings into her ears. She was lulled into sleep, being cuddled like a small child. Warm and loved, she finally fell into sleep.


	14. Chapter 14

## Chapter 14

Harsh whispered voices woke Linda up the next morning. Sleepy and strangely slow, she craned her neck from the covers and saw the shaman talking sharply to  Ilaqali , in their language. The native woman seemed ashamed, and Linda heard her own name spoken between those strange words. Then she connected the dots.

"No, please, don't", Linda pleaded, and attracted their attention. "If you are angry at her, it is all my fault. I am to blame. She was just trying to help."

"You are very kind, Linda. But she knows you must not be disturbed. It is part of the healing process."

The girl was horrified. "She did not disturb me.  Ilaqali comforted me. She was so nice. I did not know it was wrong. I am sorry, shaman, I am so sorry." Linda was on the verge of tears. Her selfishness had brought punishment over  Ilaqali , who had treated her so  kindly . "I don't want  Ilaqali to suffer, please."

The shaman looked at her sharply, his eyes squeezing intensely. Then he inhaled. "I will call David. You come  _ now _ ."

Linda shivered at the tone of his voice and began to dread what was about to come. The first time she experienced the herbs she felt bad and the shaman was in a good mood. Now he was in a horrible mood, and it seemed she was in for another herbal experience. How would she come out of it?

She was hastily prepared and arrived at the cave deeply frightened. David took her inside a sort of tent built inside the cave, where the shaman was waiting. There was already a small fire burning, and leaves that were producing smoke. It smelled different from what she inhaled before. It was really hot, too. There was no other light other than the small bonfire inside, and Linda found that extremely creepy .

"This is the sweat lodge", explained the shaman. "This is where the treatment is held. It is also held here", he pointed her head, "and here", he pointed her heart. "Remember, you must not be afraid. You will never be alone."

Linda merely nodded, her eyes big. The shaman smiled, and softened his voice. "I am sorry for what happened in the cabin. I guess you should know that  Ilaqali is also in treatment." Linda's eyes got even wider, and the shaman came into the light. "Yes, she is also sick in her heart."

"She is  so  nice; it is hard to think she is sick."

"Last winter,  Ilaqali was expecting her first grandson. Her daughter was almost your age, only a couple of years younger. There was an unfortunate complication. Both child and mother died.  Ilaqali became very sad."

"What  a horrible thing." Linda was shocked. "She must have suffered a lot."

"The problem  is; she is still suffering. She has not let it go, so the wound still bleeds inside her heart. She has volunteered to take care of you, and I was against it."

"Why?"

"Because she has a hole in her heart, and I was afraid she might want you to fill it. She tried to do that last night."

"Couldn't you be exaggerating just a bit? She was so nice, and it  – "

The shaman interrupted her. " Ilaqali asked me to adopt you, so she could take care of you for the rest of your life."

Linda was shocked. Time  wavered . She could not breathe.

_ Adoption? _

Adoption had been an important  word of her childhood, one that she often associated with impossible things. While she was on the orphanage, she heard the word a lot, and many times the other children would taunt her, saying she would never be adopted because she was a freak and nobody wanted her. It had hurt Linda so much that she had withdrawn within herself, and she shut the world away. Until Dr. Lester came along, and then Dr.  Lennyard , Linda was oblivious to the outside world. Adoption was a word with so many different meanings to her that Linda always felt an impact every time she heard it.

And now she had almost been adopted?

"But... but... I am not staying here. I don't live here. Doesn't she know that?"

"You have to understand. When she looks at you, she does not see you. She sees a baby, probably her grandchild."

"A baby? But I am a grown-up."

The shaman shrugged. "You can't  walk; you can't talk  – you  _ are _ a baby to her. And she wants to take care of you."

"Oh, dear." Linda was stupefied.

"Now, don't worry about it. And actually, I think that thanks to you are in order.  Ilaqali has been lucky to have you. Without knowing it, you have been helping her recovery as much as she has been helping you."

Linda thought for a second, and just nodded, relieved. "I am glad I have been able to help her. She has been very good to me."

"Now, about your own treatment," the shaman went on.

Linda jumped to say. "Yes, about the treatment. I don't feel so good. Could I be spared today? I could work double tomorrow, I promise."

The old man smiled at her naïveté. "This is precisely the kind of reaction that makes this moment the best for the treatment to begin. We should do it now." Linda hesitated. "Linda, do you trust me?"

"Yes, sir. I do." Linda was not lying. But her voice was a little cracked, and she could not suppress a shiver. She was scared.

"Then there is nothing to be afraid. Remember: this is your treatment. There is nothing here you can't handle. Remember this."

"Al l  right", she tried to muster courage, and asked, "So what do I do?"

"Close your eyes and go back to the spiritual world. There you will find your spiritual guide for this treatment. Then you will know what to do. I will help you, so we can start when you are ready."

"Yes, sir." Linda closed her eyes and followed the shaman's gentle voice. Slowly, she began to relax her muscles and unknowingly her body fell to the ground. After that, there was a sort of smoke curtain in front of her and she went right through it.

Linda saw herself standing in an ice field. She could walk again, and this time it was no surprise. She looked around. It was daytime, in a field of pristine white snow, some trees a few miles away, mountains on the background. It was beautiful, and it should be cold, but Linda did not feel it.

One thing was strange, though. Linda was quite alone. She could see no one around.

"Shaman?"

A voice came from behind her. "He is not here."

Startled, Linda turned around and saw a woman standing very close to her. She was lithe, her body covered in very warm clothes, such as fur and mukluks, very similar to the ones  Ilaqali wore. Her hair was dark and was worn in braids. She had big warm eyes, and looked a little older than Linda, but not much. There was a softness around her, and there was also an emotion Linda could not quite place.

"Sorry." A warm smile. "Didn't mean to startle you."

Linda was embarrassed. "No, it's... I could not see you coming."

"You thought the shaman would be here. He could be, but not now. I was sent to you."

"Are you  my spirit guide?"

"I am as much your guide as you are mine, Linda."

Linda stared at the woman and almost winced. Again that kind of talk the shaman liked so much. Did everyone who walked in the spirit word talk in that strange way?

The woman smiled. "I see you could use a little guidance. Why don't we go over those trees?"

Linda nodded and followed the woman, feeling the snow giving away under her feet, watching the footprints she was leaving behind. The woman was leaving no trail, and Linda shuddered when she  realized that.

"Where are we?"

"This is a field. You can say it is my home of some sort."

"I am not used to these situations", said Linda. "I  apologize if I give you trouble of any kind."

"Oh, no dear Linda, you don't trouble me at all."

"You know my name?"

"If you expect me to guide you, I must know a bit about you. Wouldn't you expect that?"

Linda shrugged, and kept walking. "Yes, but Ben says sometimes we better not expect too much and just live things as they are."

The woman stopped just to smile warmly. "Very wise of him ."

They were walking among the trees, and the air was clean and crisp. "May I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"Am I allowed to know your name?"

The woman resumed her walking, and the smile became enigmatic. "What does your heart say about it?"

Linda decided to be honest. "That you won't answer me, no matter how much I ask."

The woman laughed a little, a soft sound. Then she pointed. "We are almost there." 

The girl looked ahead and was surprised to see a log cabin appearing in the middle of the pine trees. "I used to live here with my family. I like it very much."

"Family?"

"Husband. And a son. We were happy."

"Aren't they in there?"

"No, they are not."

Linda felt confused. "But this is not real, right? I mean, this is the spirit world. Nothing prevents them from being in there, right? I mean, they could be in there."

The woman became sad. "It is a little bit complicated, Linda. But you must know that the spirit world is not a fantasy world. It just a different reality. In this reality we get in touch with things that are not available in the waking world."

"This seems serious. But I don't understand how it really works."

"I don't think you're supposed to understand, Linda," said the lady, as she climbed the first steps to the house. "We are here. Come inside."

Linda stepped in and saw a warm,  cozy cabin, made entirely of wood, a fireplace providing light and heat. It was not big, but it was much lighter and cheerful than the  Tsimishan one she was sleepin g in. There were plenty of hand made things, such as towels and embroidery on the tables and a quilt on the bed. Linda was enchanted. "It is beautiful."

"Thank you. Come in, I will make tea for us."

"Thank you, Miss... Or Mrs...  Er ... If you won't tell me your name, how should I call you?"

The lady was dealing with pots and pans, to make the tea, and kept doing that. "The shaman did not tell you his name either. How do you call him?"

"Shaman."

"How do you think you should call me?"

Linda thought for a few seconds, then sat on a rug near the fireplace. "Lady Guide?"

"Do you like that?"

"No, not really. What about Guiding Lady? I like Guiding Lady."

The lady smiled. "Then Guiding Lady it is. It suits me, I guess. You really could use some guidance."

"I still don't know how this is supposed to help me."

"It will, Linda. I am sure it will help you. You are very sad."

It was Linda's turn to look away. "I just miss Ben, that's the reason I am sad. I love him very much."

"But there is something more to it, isn't it, Linda? Actually, I would say that there are some things that you won't admit even to yourself."

Linda felt that confusion that came whenever they talked like that. "I am not sure I understand what you are saying."

"What I am saying is not important. The important thing is that you  realize what you feel and why do you feel these things."

"I still don't understand. I love Ben, but I can't say why I love him."

"Have you loved anyone before him?"

"No. I never had a boyfriend in my life."

"I did not ask about boyfriends. I asked if you ever loved anyone else before Ben."

"Well... I was very fond of some people I met on the clinic. There was also Dr. Lester, of course, and then Dr.  Lennyard . But I can't say I love any of them."

"Do you remember your mother?"

Linda felt a familiar pang on her chest. "No. I try, but I can't."

"Don't you remember loving her?"

"No. She died when I was very young. I was only a baby, the doctors said. Then my father..." She stopped, swallowing a sob of pain as she looked down at her hands in her lap, trying to block those horrible memories. "My father... could not take care of me."

Linda raised her head and shivered. S uddenly, s he was  no longer in the log cabin with the Guiding Lay. She was in a dark and small room, and there was a small child on the floor, not more  than four years old, a little girl in dirty rags, huddled in the dark, horribly bruised, totally terrified. Though she cried, she did not produce a single sound. The place was dirty, with one dirty mattress carelessly thrown on the floor, and the smell... 

Linda  recognized the smell. It was the smell of her childhood. It was a mix of human sweat, alcohol, stale urine, dirty diapers, food remains, and semen. She felt the urge to  throw up when she  realized the small child was herself. Somehow she knew that this scene was a memory or a re-enactment of her earliest childhood.

Suddenly, the door was violently opened and almost came down. There was a silhouette by the door, a man swaying. The stink of alcohol and sweat inside the room was increased by a geometric scale. Linda acted on instinct. She dropped to her knees, tried to hide her face and hugged her legs to her body, tears falling from her closed eyes. "No Daddy... Please don't Daddy..."

The door was shut with more violence, and there were shouts. She was told how useless she was and how she was only good for one thing. Linda awaited the first blow to fall upon her. " Nodaddypleasenodaddypleasedon'tdaddypleasedon'tdaddy ."

The blow did not come. Curious, panting, Linda raised her head and opened her eyes. Everything was changed, except her position.

Now she was in a hospital bed, in a large infirmary, and there were at least 30 beds in the huge and bright room, all white. There were other children there, and she sat up on one bed, right beside the little girl that was her. The girl was a little older, maybe eight or nine years old, her eyes seemed devoid of emotion, and she lay curled on the bed, silently staring at nothing.

A noise on the door startled Linda, and she turned to see an orderly or nurse coming inside with a tray with soup and a glass of water. The man was not in a good spirit.

"OK, time to chow, kid."

Linda turned around and found all other children gone. Ignoring Linda totally, the orderly came up to the little girl's bed, put the tray beside the bed and turned the child until she was lying on her back. With dawning horror, Linda  realized what was about to happen.

The man kneeled on the bed and spread the little girl's legs. Without emotion, the child looked away as the man positioned himself in between her legs, already unzipping his  pants before raising her little white skirt. Not a noise was heard, and Linda closed her eyes tight, her body trembling as she smothered a shout, hugging her own arms. But she could not stay quiet for long. In a matter of seconds, she was screaming, and thrashing.

Before she knew it, she was enveloped in loving arms, comforted by a soothing voice. Surprised, Linda looked up and found herself in the arms of her Guiding Lady, in front of the fireplace in the cabin. She was still screaming, and suddenly she stopped, making the noise seem to echo away in the silent room. The lady's dark eyes were staring at Linda's filled with love and pain.

"Oh, my poor Linda. You suffered so much. No little child should suffer that way."

Even though she tried to control herself, Linda was clutching to the Guiding Lady, shaking all over, weeping. She had always thought those horrible memories were gone and buried. How come they had struck her so violently?

"I am s-sorry", she tried to say, sobbing painfully. "I thought I... Thought I could handle it."

"It is OK,  shhhh ."

The woman was still gently stroking her back, letting Linda curl around her waist. Linda found that very relaxing, and she sobbed a little more. "I... I could not... watch it.... There was... nothing I could do... Could not see it..."

"You didn't have to go through it. If this situation appeared to you, it means you should do something about it."

"What could I do? It's... my past. It is gone... There is nothing I could do to change it."

"Yes, you can, Linda. You could have stopped it."

That made Linda sit up and see the Lady, puzzled. "No, I cannot. It has already happened. That was my past."

The Guiding Lady explained gently to her. "Remember I told you that the spiritual world was sort of an alternative reality? It means you can deal with that. You can do something about it."

"How can that be?" asked Linda, wiping her tears. "I was that little girl, I was there, that was the past and there was nothing I could do."

"No, Linda. Now you are grown up. That little girl  _ was _ you, but it is not anymore. You could have stopped the little girl from getting hurt. She cannot do that, because she is very young and fragile. You have grown up, and you are strong now. You can stop whoever wants to keep hurting the little girl."

"But I can't do that by myself." Linda was surprised. "I am alone."

"Oh, Linda, Linda." The Lady smiled gently at her, looking at the tears in her face, the green eyes golden with the firelight. "Have you forgotten? You are never alone here." 

Linda was still very amazed. "Do you really mean it? Do you say I can... fight back?"

"Of course you can. I think that maybe that was why you were taken to that situation. It is about time you save that little girl, Linda. You have been hurting ever since. And this hurt, this fear, has been making you a lot of damage. You see, it pops up every time you need to feel safe and strong."

Linda took a deep breath, feeling confused. "OK, I got that part about the little girl and me. I know now that I can fight back here in the spiritual world. But this I don't understand. I need to feel safe and strong?"

The Lady caressed her face with a tender smile. "Maybe we could talk more later on. Because now I guess you should focus on the little girl. She will be needing your help soon."

"Really? How do you know?"

"Another thing you should know about the spiritual world is that it is very flexible and totally subjective. It changes depending on your perception. It means that now that you know you can fight  back; you probably will be called to do so."

Linda shuddered and threw herself at the arms of the gentle lady. "I am so scared."

"Remember: you will never be alone."

Once more, Linda was curled in the lady's waist. It felt so good. She felt safe and cared for, and loved, as she usually did in Fraser's arms. She missed him so much. Tears began to fall freely, and Linda closed her eyes, the image of Ben's face appearing in her mind's eye, as a balm against all that pain.

Linda decided it was time to really fight back, so she sat up, trying to wipe her tears as she said, "I guess I should prepare to - "

She could never finish the sentence. Her green eyes were staring straight at her father's grey ones. This time, she shuddered, it was her  _ real _ father, not that man sent by Victoria to pose as her Dad. In an impulse, she stepped back, heart almost stopping and yelling, "NO!!!!"

But, as if everything was a dream, she felt her muscles going numb, her eyes growing wide. The man lunged past Linda, and grabbed the small girl crouched in the floor, trying to hide in the corner of the darkroom. Even before he could touch her, the child begged loudly, "No Daddy please , no !"

He whacked the child, hard, and the fragile body hit the filthy ground. The man knelt above the kid, ripping off her little dress. Linda gasped again: she knew what would happen next. And her brain seemed stuck in two words. Fight back.

Without thinking, eyes blind by fear and rage, Linda charged against the man. Hands round in fists, she began to scream and hit the man as hard as she could, as much as she could, anger driving her muscles. She could barely see, and the scene was once more painted like a dream, and she screamed, screamed, screamed...

There was someone calling her name. Linda heard it from afar, very , very far away, as if in a dream, and then it became nearer, and nearer. There was another noise, and she could not see anything but blurs. She was tired, but she tried to get herself together, at least focus her eyes again. And she was surprised. 

The noise (her screams) had stopped, she was panting out of breath, body covered in sweat and tears. The place was not what she could expect.

"Shaman?" She heard her voice and it sounded all wrong.

He smiled. "Welcome back, child."

Linda looked around. She was in that tent the shaman called the sweat lodge, a sharp noise of burnt herbs reached her nostrils, and now her legs were useless again. Everything suddenly seemed so confusing. The abrupt transition from the spiritual world to the real world drained Linda from the rest of her energy.

"I am not feeling good", she mumbled, trying to support herself.

"That is expected," assured the shaman. "Great impact is taken on the first time at the sweat lodge. Now you rest. Eat, sleep. Then you return."

Linda sniffed the air. "Is it OK if I take a bath, too?"

The old man laughed. "I will call  Ilaqali to give you a shower. What do you say?"

That made Linda's eyes grow wide. "A shower? It's been weeks since I last took one. I would love it, thank you."

"Good. Now wrap yourself in a blanket. It is colder than inside the sweat lodge."

** * * * **

The door of the cell opened violently, snapping Fraser from his light doze. The guard poked him, saying. "Hey, Canadian guy. Come on. You've been sprung you out."

Out? After all that time? Fraser did not say a word loud, and left the cell without further ado. Then he was taken outside the holding area, to some administrative booth where he signed a form and was shoved his red tunic back and a few belongings, too. The guard then pointed the door and he opened it.

He found Inspector Thatcher on the other side, and his chest tightened. She had a man by her side, probably the new lawyer sent by Ottawa. They were both silent, and seemed quite angry. Then her voice (her bitchy voice, he  realized ) was flying through the air. "Let's go, Constable."

Fraser could not refuse or argue. He just walked by her side, thinking he would love to go home and sleep for a week, but then he  realized that going home and not finding Linda there would hurt more than anything he could think. The Mountie ignored the looks he received from the guards as he walked out. 

They went to the consular car, and the man took the wheel. So, he was just the driver.

"We will go to the Consulate, where we can discuss this whole unfortunate incident." Thatcher's voice seemed softer. "I don't believe for a moment that Linda is dead or that you killed her. But I wonder why  Vecchio is taking so long to bring her back."

Fraser was painfully aware that Ray had been missing for two whole weeks. "Yes, Sir." A pause. "Did you enjoy your training in Ottawa?"

She looked at him, staring his face as if he had grown an extra head. "It was very... instructive, Constable. But it seems all the fun was waiting till I got back."


	15. Chapter 15

## Chapter 15

_ Damn. Damn! _

Ray  Vecchio's head was spinning. He had asked around, he had taken hunches, he had switched car s. He took the recently rented off-road vehicle into back roads, side roads, even no roads. He was about to scream.

He could not find Linda. How was he going to face Benny after that? It had not been easy. Not at all. Ray had gone to Yellowknife, then went to Reliance, and circumvented the whole Great Slave Lake, looking for the right  Tshimishan village. It was amazing he had been doing that for almost 10 days and had only bumped twice into the RCMPs. Playing cool, he took off as soon as he could. Then he shook his head. Those Mounties were different from the one he knew  – they did not even have wolves as sidekicks!

It was getting almost ridiculous. How could he not find a white girl stuck among a bunch of Eskimos or whatever they were called? And he was running out of hunches and leads.

Asking around, Ray was told of a village north of the Great Bear Lake, and drove for two days, staying in the middle of nowhere, seeing the trees getting scarcer by the mile. If this lead ended nowhere, at least he could at last keep going north and visit  Tuktoyaktuk . Fraser would be thrilled to know.

Fraser.

Ray still felt guilty about taking off and leaving Fraser behind,  locked up, framed for murder . He was sure that by now the Mountie had been released, but the "misunderstanding" would not have been solved. Not by a long shot. The FBI guys were out for blood. Ray had to make sure this blood would not be his or Fraser's.

Which reminded him of the uneasy feeling he was beginning to reckon since his last stop in some forgotten minimarket at the middle of Frozen Armpit, Canada.  Somehow, he just knew he was being followed. He could not pinpoint when it started, even where. He knew he was surely being followed, and it was done nicely, very discreetly. That was the reason his guts told him it was not the FBI. Had it been, there would surely be a big operation, with helicopters, sharp shooters, tracking dogs, sirens and a lot of shouting. No, definitely, neither FBI nor RCMP could be following him, and that was for sure.

Ray felt sick to his stomach to think of the alternative. It surely was a sick and twisted irony. After all his trouble to avoid the law, it could not be true. But there was a possibility the bad guys and that sick Psycho Bitch from Hell Victoria were on his trail. More than that: he was leading them straight to Linda.  _ Not funny, God. _

It was not hard to figure why they had not shown up yet. Their plan was probably to follow Ray until he found Linda. She would be safe until them, and maybe so would he. But there was a chance those Inuit guys could help a bit. Benny kept talking about them, so there must be something good about them.

Still, Ray could not believe he had not lost them somewhere along the way. He was able to get out without drawing attention from the police. Maybe they had tagged him all along, and he just  realized it now, in the part of the trip where there were not enough trees or houses for them to hide in the midst of all that pristine and sparkling white snow. None of that eased the knot on his stomach, of course.

Ray geared up the  off-road and drove away as the light of the day was beginning to fade. Soon it would be dark. Then he'd better get a plan for when he found Linda. He sure needed one.

** * * * **

Linda was in trouble, and she knew it. The Guiding Lady was just not going to give it up. "Why? Why are you asking me this?"

"It is something you need to know, Linda. I just asked you once and now I will ask you again. Why did you want to kill yourself?"

"How do you know that?!"

"You know better than to ask. Just answer."

Once more, there were tears in Linda's eyes. She was hurting so much just to think about it, and yet she talked about it. "I was afraid, alright? If Ben said he did not want me, if he refused to take care of me because I was  paralyzed , then... I could not go back to the institution. I would not bear being there... being without him."

"Is that the reason? Then why did you keep on thinking about it even after you went home with him? You were with him, yet you still thought of taking your own life."

Now the tears were flowing freely, and Linda was still unable to face the lady. "I did not  _ think _ about doing it, I just wondered that it might be easier for him that way. Ben was so sad. He was trying to hide it, trying to cheer me up, and it was so touching. But my life had changed, and it was not fair to ask him to keep him from living just because of me. If I was dead, he would be able to carry on and have a normal life."

"You never said a word to him."

"Of course not. I know Ben would never forgive me if I said such a thing.  Still, I could not do it. I cannot consciously leave Ben. It is... it is just unthinkable!"

"But he might still want to leave you, and it hurts you, doesn't it?"

Linda was appalled.  Was that lady a telepath or what? 

"Yes." Linda was crying so hard that she could hardly breathe. She also was almost amazed to be in so much pain in the spiritual world. "If Ben ever leaves me... I mean, if he  _ really _ leaves me... I think I might die..."

The Guiding Lady watched her and grew soft in her voice. "So now comes my question again. Linda, what is your deepest fear?"

Linda looked up at her, then down at her hands. "That Ben leaves me. Then I would be alone. Again. Abandoned. Unloved." It was whispered, painful and sore. The ache of a lifetime. Maybe two lifetimes. There were not enough tears in the whole world...

Unexpectedly, Linda was wrapped up in soothing loving arms. At first, she tried to fight the lady, but her weeping was loud and sore, so she was in no condition to resist. The lady caressed her hair and her back. 

"Comfort is something you also need, Linda. Allow yourself to be consoled. You give so much solace to Ben, and yet you don't let him do the same to you. He loves you, and he wants to comfort you, too. Ben needs to do things for you, because he loves you. But there are other things you should tell him. Tell him the hurtful things, too. You don't do that, Linda, but you should. You think about ending your life, and you don't talk to him. You don't show him your anger of being  paralyzed . You don't want him to suffer because you can't have sex the way you did before. This is too much for just one person, Linda, and bottling it  all  up is bad for you. You keep too much suffering inside you, because you think you have done things wrong. You have not. None of this is your fault. You have to convince yourself that. You said this to Ben, and yet you did not convince yourself."

The Guiding Lady had never talked so much, and Linda soaked up every word. Maybe she had been selfish to do those things to Ben. She should have concentrated on him...

Linda's trail of thought was interrupted.

"I can hear your thoughts, Linda. And you are doing it again. You are shutting him out, and still wants him to make the bad things go away. I think you will find both of you need to talk more. And you can do it a little by little, OK?"

Linda curled herself around the lady's neck, feeling grateful for the love that lady was showing her. "I will try. Thank you. For me and for Ben."

"It is my pleasure. I would do anything take care of you two."

"I wish I had known my mother. If I could  choose , it would have been you."

"Well, the instinct never dies, I guess. I told you I had a son, once."

"He is a very luck boy."

"Of course he is. He lost me when he was very young, but then he found you."

In shock, Linda raised her head so quickly she became dizzy. "What do you mean?"

The lady was smiling in a particular warm way all mothers do. "I mean my little boy has grown into a man and he was going to become lonely, old and bitter. Then when he lost his Dad, he moved to Chicago, and found new friends. He found a new family, and he found you."

Linda was starting to connect things. And she gaped at the lady. "You... Are you who I think you are?"

The lady smiled. "My name is Caroline. I asked to be your spiritual guide, but now I am afraid our journey is almost over. I think I have done all I can to you, that is why I let you know who I really am."

The American girl was still trying to process things through her dizzy mind. "But... you can't be...! Are you... are you Ben's  _ mom _ ?!"

"Linda, can you do me a favor?"

"Sure. Anything."

"Tell Benton I love him. I always have, and I always will."

Linda beamed, feeling a fuzzy warm spot on her heart. "I will tell him."

"And do that for me, will you?"

"Do what?"

"Love him.  Forever ."

"That I can do without your asking."

"Goodbye, Linda. Just remember you are never alone. You also have a mommy."

Linda noticed the reality around her changing. The Guiding Lady was going away. But here were so many things she wanted to know...

"No! Wait! Please! Please, Mrs. Fraser! Caroline!"

It was too late. Linda already knew she was going back to the waking world, and the shaman. She was not disappointed to find herself in the sweat lodge, being carefully watched by the shaman.

Linda sighed, "Now  _ that _ was a surprise."

"I wonder if you finally found some answers."

"Yes, I guess I did, shaman. But I am still confused."

"Sessions in the sweat lodge can make you think things you never considered before. They can make you see things you already knew in a different light."

"We have been doing this for almost two weeks, shaman. Am I getting better?"

"I think I am supposed to be asking this question to you, Linda ."

"To tell you the truth, I am not sure."

"Well, don't worry about it now. I guess you'd better take a shower and eat, so you can rest."

"I am still amazed that I can be in the spiritual world practically the whole day, and then sleep the whole night through."

"Not the whole night , though ."

Linda blushed. "OK, so I still have some nightmares."

"You wake up screaming every night. That is not  _ some _ nightmares."

"Yes, I know, " she sighed. "I really thought we had that part controlled. I guess there are still things that frighten me."

"Don't worry. Now let me call  David to take you to  Ilaqali ."

** * * * **

“Turnbull, get here on the double!”

Fraser watched discreetly as his colleague rushed to comply the call from his superior officer. Inspector Thatcher had made clear her thoroughly disgust at the little charade performed by the FBI for some payback over Lieutenant Welsh, involving her deputy and his girlfriend. As if they had not enough grief from that criminal woman Victoria Metcalf. Fraser was touched by that, yet he was a bit concerned that all Consulate personnel felt her displeasure as well. When she was around, everyone was jumpy and stressed, to say the least.

And that morning was no exception.

Thatcher had been in contact with the RCMP Headquarters, a few field offices and local police departments around Canada. However, the information she was looking for only came through thanks to a former Mountie, a colleague now working for the Canadian Security Intelligence Service, the CSIC.

Turnbull rushed out of the Inspector’s office, and said, “The Inspector would like to talk to you, Constable Fraser”.

Fraser could not repress the tension at going inside her office. But when he closed the door, as requested, he saw the Inspector smiling at him. He did not expect that.

“Fraser, how long will you get your bags ready so we can hop off to Canada, arrest some criminals and rescue Linda at the same time?

He did not expect that either.

** * * * **

Ray came in the village long before the night had settled. It was such a small gathering of houses and motorhomes, surrounded by some snowmobiles and dogsleds, that for a moment the detective thought he might be invading a farm or something.  So he decided to knock on a house that resembled a local bar or tavern. Those were always  places to look for information.

It was not a bar or a tavern, yet the Tshimishan people inside confirmed that Eric lived there, but had gone out hunting. Ray explained the situation somewhat, and said he was looking for the white girl who was Benton's friend. He heard again the native word for white people ( _ qallunaat _ ), but suddenly he felt they were getting as informative as Benny when he decided to clam up really good. Those guys seemed to be jerking him around.

"No, I just need to know if she is here in the village."

There were three men and one woman, obviously one of the local's wife. Only one of the men was talking to Ray. But he was not making any sense. "Benton is not here."

Ray sighed, almost in desperation. "I know he is not  here; I am looking for the girl. Her name is Linda."

Then a teenage boy came inside and whispered something to the man. Ray exercised his (scarce) patience. "Look, I am Benton's friend, too, and we are in trouble. There are bad guys who are looking for us, and I need to get us out of here."

The man looked at the boy, then at Ray again. "Maybe the shaman might help you."

The boy went out, and another one came in, a bit older. This one looked intensely at Ray, but the detective jumped first. "Hey! I know you! You are Eric's nephew. You went to Chicago about that mask thing."

David did not nod, but acquiesced. "You are the Mountie's friend. You almost shot me."

"Yeah, but that was a long time ago. Can you help me? I need to get Linda. Do you know her? Do you know if she is here?"

The young man looked at him for some seconds before saying. "I think you better explain the situation to the shaman".

Ray was running his patience really thin. "Look, this..."

He was interrupted when the door opened, and an old man went inside, brought by the younger teenager. The whole group looked at each other. Then there was an unexpected smile. "Detective  Vecchio , isn't it? Please make yourself comfortable."

Ray was taken aback, not expecting that reaction. "Well, I... I appreciate it. Thank you, but I am afraid I don't have the time. You see, I am in a kind of situation."

"Really?"

"Yes, you see, I think I had been followed here by some really bad people and there might be a lot of them, so -"

The boy did not let Ray finish the sentence. "There are at least three men in a four-wheel traction pick-up truck, hiding just behind the big slope near the second inuksuk."

Ray looked puzzled at the boy and the shaman smiled. "Thanks, Tommy. Please go on, detective."

"Anyway, if they suspect Linda is here, they might try something. Some people of your village may end hurt, and I am trying to avoid that. So, if you could tell me if she is here or where she is, I could get her in the car and we will get going. I don't want to risk  y our people."

The shaman looked at the two men, then they looked at Ray again. All those silent stares were taking their toll on the detective, who seemed unable to decipher what they were saying.

"Look, all I am asking is an indication, here, and..." Suddenly Ray stopped talking, his attention caught by a familiar sound. "Did you hear that?"

The men tried to look casual. "Hear what?"

In a split second, Ray  recognized the distant sound. It was Linda. He could  recognize her voice anywhere. And she was screaming scared. The American instantly  galvanized into action and rushed to the door. "What are you people doing to her?!"

"No, detective, don't! Wait!"

Too late. In seconds, Ray was out in the snow, getting past the dogsleds, following the screams into a wooden cabin, not much dissimilar to Benny's dad's one. He did not hesitate to storm in, willing to bust down the heavy wooden door, shouting, "Linda!"

Inside the dark place lit only by fire, Ray barely had time to locate the figure shouting in the bed. Before he could approach the girl, though, he was sent hurling to the floor, bowled over by some furry and deranged big bulk in human form, also screaming in a strange language.

" Woah !"

"No!!  Ilaqali , no!" That was Linda's voice. " _ Aakka _ !  Ilaqali ,  _ aakka _ !"

There was more shouting in some native language and Ray felt the weight over his body lifting up, just before the air returned to his lungs in big gulps. Then he heard Linda's voice coming from the bed, "Ray! Ray!  Ilaqali , he is my friend! Ray!"

He sat on the wooden floor, still panting. "Oh, jeez... Did anyone... get the  license?... " Then he raised his head and met Linda's eyes. A flood of relief washed over his body and he stood up gingerly , ignoring the other native Canadians in the room .

"Linda..."

"Ray!"

Ignoring all people that were already in the cabin, Ray crossed the room and sat on the bed, where they hugged each other fiercely. Linda was trembling all over, and Ray could not contain the tears as he heard her heart-wrenched weeping. They held each other for a long time, Linda's arms circling his waist, her head buried in his chest.

Ray looked at her, using both hands to touch her head and to look in her eyes. "Hey,  girl . Are you OK?"

Linda nodded, still crying. Ray caressed her warm cheeks. "I heard you screaming, are you al l  right?"

"Yes", she could hardly speak. "It was just a nightmare... I am so happy to see you, Ray".

He held her in her arms again, and whispered. "Me, too. Me too, Linda."

Linda looked up and asked, "Is Ben with you?"

Ray looked at those vivid green eyes and felt his heart distinctively cracking. "No, Linda, I am sorry. And I guess we better talk about it."

"No, Ray, there is no need. I already know that the village people did not kidnap me. Buck Frobisher came here and explained everything to me."

"Linda, believe me. Buck Frobisher doesn't know half of what is going on in Chicago." Ray looked around and gestured to the shaman. "Sir, I believe you better listen to this as well."

For the next minutes, the emotions reached level peaks inside the cabin as Ray told his tale. First Linda was surprised, then outraged, then merely tense on what Ray told her. The shaman, always in his enigmatic ways, listened carefully to Ray's words, and consulted with David in the same silent way that annoyed Ray so much when Benny did it.

Ray urged,  "If the boy had not confirmed I was followed, I could have believed we were safe. But now we  gotta get out of here, Linda. Fast."

"Leave? Ray, I am in the middle of the treatment. The shaman is helping me and we..."

The shaman gently interrupted. "No. We  are almost through with your treatment, and your spiritual guide had already told you so. We have done what we can for you, Linda."

She was surprised to hear that. "Really? But... I still hav e nightmares."

"A product of your own fear. You have conquered your fear once, and you can do that again. It is your choice to live in fear or live free of it."

Once more, the shaman was talking in that way that always made Linda confused. Only this time she was not so confused as she once was. She smiled. 

"I cannot thank you enough."

Ray sighed, relieved. "Good. That means we can go right away."

Young David snorted, "That means you can also be caught right away."

Ray glared at the kid, but Linda turned to the shaman. "There must be some way we can go out and not raise attention."

The American detective shrugged. "Probably if we were Inuit, Linda, but that is not the case."

The shaman smiled. "Maybe we can work on that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: aakka = “no”, in Inuktitut 


	16. Chapter 16

## Chapter 16

It was still dark when a fur-clad figure stepped out of the big log cabin into the snow. From afar, it was just a grey silhouette walking through the icy tapestry headed towards the barn near the small trucks. It was the only movement in the almost morning hours, the sun was a long time from rising. The person went inside the barn and emerged less  than half an hour later with a complete dogsled team, all in full gear. The team was parked in front of the big log cabin. The person went back inside.

Half an hour later, it was already dusky, and suddenly the log cabin became a  catalyze for action. The fur-clad figure stepped out for the second time, carrying a huge bundle of dirty clothes and dumped it on the dogsled. At the same time, very surreptitiously, a person in a snowsuit, carrying a smaller person in his arms, sneaked out of the cabin and went to the  off-road vehicle parked near the trailers and motorhomes. The tribe's shaman followed them to the  vehicle and bid them farewell, as the dog sled sped away almost unnoticed. The vehicle took off shortly after, taking the opposite direction.

The sun came out. It happened at least half an hour after both vehicles left the small tribe.

"Linda, are you OK?"

The voice was muffled. "I am just fine, Ray."

"I think it is safe to come out now."

"I would appreciate that."

The vehicle stopped, and Ray quickly came to the front of the sled to relieve Linda from the cocoon they had  done, in hopes of confusing  their pursuers. She emerged, her face all red from being inside so many layers of clothing and gasped discreetly. Linda took a deep breath and smiled. "So good to feel the air again."

Ray loosened a bit of the bundle of clothes around her, but took care so that she was kept warm and re-wrapped the blanket around her arms. "Yeah, but we  gotta keep moving. David said the RCMP outpost is still three hours away, west from here. And I am not good at driving this damned  limousine from  Nanook of the North, in case they were not fooled by our little deception."

"With luck, they won't be able to distinguish David at the wheel of the ATV, as long as he keeps the cap on."

"Let's hope so." Ray checked her out for the last time. "Are you comfy? It will be a rough ride."

"Never mind that, Ray. You know I cannot feel anything from the waist down, including the temperature."

"And this is good thing. It is almost freezing, and it won't get better even when the sun is high. Can you believe this place? It is summer in Chicago. _Late_ summer, almost fall."

"I am fine with that. Let's go."

"OK." 

He got back at the back of the dog sled and shouted, " All right , doggies, mush!!"

Not even one started.

"I said, Mush!!"

Nothing. It was as if Diefenbaker was there, in one of his bad days.

Ray  hung his head, defeated and murmured, "No, please, guys, not now..."

Linda suggested, "Try something else, Ray, like 'let's go' or 'get going".

Ray was not in the mood for advice. "Damn thing, Fraser! When we get back, I am going to ask you for lessons on how to drive this thing, I swear.  Okay , guys, I am not in the mood for that! We  gotta go! Come on!"

Magic word, for the dogs started moving. 

"YES!", exclaimed Ray, and Linda held on to the inside of the sled, now seeing the beautiful Northern scenery as the pale sun started to rise in the Territories.

They had not ridden for even a full hour when a noise of an engine came across the mountains. Ray looked back and  recognized the snowmobile that was on the vehicle following him for the past few days. He discreetly tried not to alert Linda, and tried to speed up the dogs. The light vehicle was coming fast, even though it was still more than a mile away from them.

It did not work. 

"Ray, I don't want to alarm you, but I think we are being followed."

"And I think you are right, Linda", he growled. "Hang on!"

Ray led the sled across a winding way through a few pine trees and slopes and rocks. Linda bumped a lot and tried to keep the balance, while the dogs went as fast as they could. But their pursuers were tireless and unmerciful. Ray soon understood he would not be able to get away.

The only thing was, they could not fight back, either. All Ray had was a handgun and those guys were probably heavily armed, not to mention the fact that they outnumbered them. Ray felt sweat starting to pool under his arms, despite the freezing temperatures.

"Ray, they are still closing in on us!" Linda had to shout so Ray could hear her.

"We have to lose them somehow!"

"Maybe the sled is too heavy! You could dump me near those trees and get away faster!"

"What?!! Linda, are you out of your mind?"

"Ray, you can come back later and get me! I can hide under the trees!"

"Out of the question!"

"Ray, listen to me!"

"No! No, I won't! You've been hanging around  them Eskimos for too long! You're starting to say those nonsense things the same as Benny!" He cried to the dogs, "Come on, come on!!" Impossible as it seems, the animals managed to run faster.

"Please,  Ray! " said Linda, as Ray glided through the slopes. "I can jump out, roll to those trees, hide there and I wait till you come back!"

"You will freeze to death!"

"I can't feel a thing!"

"The more danger to it!"

"Ray, there is no other way! We won't be able to escape them! You will get  caught , or worse!"

"They will kill you! Then Benny will kill me! No, maybe there is someplace where we can hide and they will lose us. They don't know this area!"

"And neither do we!" Linda was getting anxious and distressed. "Ray,  _ please!" _

"If you don't quit distracting me, we will end this trip real soon, Linda!"

The girl stretched her arm. "Over there, Ray! Let me go, or I will jump!"

"Linda, I am warning you!"

"I will jump, Ray, I swear I will!"

Ray had never seen the girl so determined. Linda herself was a bit awed at the way she sounded.

"OK, OK! I don't believe I am doing this. Hang on!"

Ray swirled the sled toward a group of pine trees mixed with bushes that offered a good cover, and stopped the vehicle. Linda raised her arms and pointed, "Quick, over there!"

The cop was mumbling when he picked her up hurriedly, "This is insane! I don't believe I am doing this! I am going insane! Canada drives people insane, that must be it! Maybe it’s the water, how the heck will I know!"

Linda was placed under a sturdy bush and Ray had to hide his amazement. Dammit, she was right. Someone passing in a hurry would not see her under there. The damn plan might even work.

He reinforced the amount of covers around Linda's legs. She could not feel anything, so they could be the first members to freeze. "OK, now you stay quiet and still until I call you. Don't cry out for me until I call you and say it is safe , OK?"

"Al l  right, Ray."

"And don't come out until you see me. Just keep yourself warm at all times, right? I just hope I can remember this place later."

"I will be fine, Ray. Now go, go!"

He kissed her forehead, caressed her face, even with his gloved hands, and his heart was cracking. "I will be  back; you hear?" His voice failed. "I will get you back to Benny."

"I know that. I love you, Ray".

"I love you too, kid."

Ray broke a branch of a tree and revolved a little bit of snow on the ground to hide all tracks made by the sled. Then he picked up the reins and cast a last look at Linda, finding her safe and hidden under the group of trees. Ray felt his stomach churning and before he changed his mind, he took off with the sled.

***** ***** *****

Even before Ray left, Linda had begun to feel something different, and she was not quite sure what it was at first. But Linda could not concentrate on it that moment. She was tensely waiting until the snowmobile passed away, hot on Ray’s trail. The small vehicle passed by and Linda finally could release a breath she did not realize she was holding.

On the first minutes after she controlled her racing heart, Linda could look around from her hiding place beneath a sort of piney bush. It had small, sturdy branches so harsh Linda was glad she was wearing the thick thermals that Ilaqali had put on her early in the morning.

She looked around. There was not much to look: snow, some stones, the white slopes and the bluish sky that framed a pale sun. The air was cool and crisp, it scented as freshness and cleanness and there was peace all around. Not a sharp sound was heard, only whispers of the wind, some bird noises from the other patch of trees ahead and distant echoes of undistinguished origin.

For a moment, Linda remembered that this probably was the scenery that surrounded Ben in his childhood and young adulthood. * _ No wonder he misses it _ *, she wondered. It was beautiful. It had everything to do with Ben: so beautiful, pristine, innocent and untouched.

Linda spent a long time just thinking and looking around, consciously avoiding any thoughts over her current situation. One of the things that she could concentrate now was that odd sensation that grabbed her attention before.

It was cold. Nothing more than that: Linda was getting cold. It shouldn't be a surprise, considering she was in Northern Canada, but it was different. She was feeling cold in her legs that were almost buried in the snow. Her  _ legs  _ were  cold . She was feeling something in her legs. 

At first, she could not believe it. It was the first sign of feeling she had had below the waist since she found out she was paralyzed, months ago. Linda hurriedly took off all covers Ray had put on legs. She immediately felt her legs getting even colder.

Carefully, she broke a twig from the bush above her head and began to gently poke her own thigh. She could feel the pressure. She tried again, and once more there was a definite sensation. For the third try, she poked harder. The pressure seemed harder, too. It took Linda some minutes to  realize what that meant.

Now she had some feeling below the waist. Not much, maybe only peripheral sensations. It was a fact, not a possibility. Dr. Wilson explained her once that, if she could feel anything, then they could have a chance to determine whether the damage was done chemically on the brain or in the chemical parts of the brain. This could establish whether her brain could not receive the stimuli or the stimuli was not being transmitted. Linda did not even pretend to understand what he was saying at that time. Right at that moment, though, she understood that now her situation was different than it had been.

Linda felt she could burst in happiness. And there was no one she could talk to! She wished so hard that Ben could be there, share her hopes, share her joy. She had to get out of that place. And how long would it take Ray to come back?

At that thought, all her euphoria dwindled away. Her stomach twisted a little to  realize the danger she had put Ray into. Linda tried to keep those thoughts at bay, because now it would do them no good. 

So she focused herself on the sensations her legs would be able to feel. Linda concentrated on trying to move, even though she knew it was su ch a big step she could not expect much. Maybe twitching her toes would be a good start. She tried and tried until she was red and sweaty, but there was no way to tell if any progress was made. In the first place because she could not move enough to see so far down without help. In the second place, because she could not be sure if there was any curling in her toes.

Time passed and Linda did not sense it. When she realized it, the sun was very low on the sky. Ben had told her that in the cold season, the days were quite short in the North. Much shorter than Chicago. So, even if the night settled, it did not mean really late hours. Still, Linda estimated she had been out there for at least three hours. 

Some more time passed and the night fell. Without the sun, Linda thought it would be pitch black around her. It was not exactly so. Even though it was dark, there was a myriad of stars in the sky above, some of them brighter than diamonds in the black sky. The snow had a sort of bluish tinge, and the trees had grey silhouettes, as well as the mountains, away in the distance.

Finally, she heard something in the night. Far away, very discreet, but definitely heavy. At first Linda feared it could be an animal, probably very large one to make such noise  at that distance. Ben had told her of bears,  moose and caribous, but there was also a chance it could be an arctic wolf  – one very much different from Diefenbaker. Then she heard a voice calling, and it made her sure that it was no animal.

It sounded like Ray, but there was a good chance it could be a trick from the people pursuing them. Ray had been very explicit when he stated she was not to come out until he specifically said so. Still, Linda had to refrain herself from shouting out as she wanted to do. She was getting very scared and quite hungry, too.

Soon the voice became clearer. It was Ray,  all right . And his words were beginning to get clear.

"Linda!"

She had the impulse to answer, but kept quiet. Ray still sounded quite away from her. 

"Linda, can you hear me?"

_ Wait, wait. Ray said to wait. _

"Linda! Honey, it's me. Linda! You can come out, now. Linda, come out!"

Those were the magic words. Linda stretched out her arms and said, "Ray! Over here!"

"Linda?"

She began to use her arms and elbows to drag herself from under the tree. "Yes, Ray, over here! I have something to tell you!"

Ray's voice changed. "No, Linda, wait!"

"Ray! Ray!"

There was the sound of feet stomping in the deep snow for a few seconds, and Linda insisted, still using her arms to crawl to the snow. "Ray, I am coming out!"

"Linda!" Now Ray's voice seemed definitely strangled. Linda's blood turned cold. She  had not see n him yet. Could it have been a mistake?

Then Ray appeared finally in front of her. She smiled, relieved. "Ray, I knew you'd come."

Looking a little bit harder in the dark, Linda realized there was someone grabbing Ray from behind and putting a gun to his head. The Italian seemed to be anguished, and there was a bruise in his face. He had been captured.

Linda's smile fell away and she instinctively tried to scramble away, even though she had no leg movement. The man alerted, "If you move, I will kill him."

That was enough to make Linda instantaneously freeze in the snow. Ray could hardly say, "Linda, I am so sorry."

Linda kept her eye on the man she could hardly see in the dark and shrugged, "It wasn't your fault, Ray."

The man motioned to his right side, from where two men immediately sprung into view. 

"Sal, Marco, get her."

As they closed in on Linda, Ray immediately  galvanized into action. "No! Get your hands off her!!"

“Get off me!!”

Linda screamed as the man holding Ray deemed it necessary to strike him in the head, and it sent the cop to the ground.

"Ray!!!!!" 

She struggled, but two strong men easily subdued her and she was picked up by one of them, screaming and trying to resist the best as she could. Ray was lying still on the ground, and Linda called him in such a hysterical way that the man who hit him decided to shut her up. She received a similar strike and the intense pain made the world turn black as other dark  colors of unconsciousness swept her away.


	17. Chapter 17

## Chapter 17

Linda was in so much pain that she was forced to wake up to acknowledge it. Still disoriented, she opened her eyes and struggled to rise. Bad thing to do, she realized.

First, her head was throbbing with pain, and the bright light from her left side was not helping any. Second, she had forgotten her legs were paralyzed. Last, but not least, she was tied up. Both her wrists were tied up above her head and held to a headboard in a bed. There was also tape in her mouth, so she could hardly whimper. So tight was she tied that she could not move around much, or the ties would bite her flesh even more than they already did. It was getting painful just to lie still.

At least she was in a bed, and she could feel her legs and her feet still warm. Her head ached, but other than that she was fine. At least physically.

She wondered where she could be. As far as she could see, it was a bedroom, fairly unimaginative in its decoration, totally uncompromising as to reveal its location. Linda was able to turn her head and see a telephone, a night lamp and some blank papers with some kind of a logo in the nightstand. She surmised she was in a hotel room. It would be nice if she could at least know whether she was back at the States.

Linda could not look around much, but she sensed Ray was near. Somehow she had to believe he was alive, or she would not be able to hold her emotions. Not for the first time, she missed Ben and entertained a fantasy that he might rescue her. It brought warmth to her heart and she sighed. Then she shook her head.  _ No, Linda, back to reality. _

Struggling from her bonds, Linda let out a muffled yelp of pain as the  bonds cut her flesh. She probably was bleeding. Then she heard moans below, to her right side. She moaned louder, and there was an answer. It had to be Ray. Probably  also  tied and gagged as she was. 

Then the door opened and all her thoughts fled away as three men went inside the room. Probably they were the same ones who brought her there, and that was the first time she  could see their faces at all. At least in a lit environment. Linda wondered if her ability to  recognize them would not put her life at risk. But then, she thought, her life was already in their hands. Hers and Ray's.

Linda saw as a man in a dark sweater approached her, looked down at her in such an intimidating way that made her quail. The man growled, "Well, well. Look who's awake. Sleeping Beauty herself." It was an American accent, Linda noticed.

There was a moan from her right side and the man kicked something in the floor, making Ray moan in pain. Linda fought back the tears and the trembling in her body as the man looked down and warned, "You don't  wanna give me grief, cop. Remember that."

The man (who was the same one that hit Ray before) turned to her, and Linda's eyes widened in fear. He sat down on the bed right beside her and used a soft, deceiving smooth voice to warn her, "Now, kid, here are the rules. You be nice to  me; I will be nice to you. You're not nice to me, and I will kill your cop friend. Is that clear?" 

Linda's eyes were glued to the man's black ones, and all she saw there was cruelty and hatred. Then there was a flash of anger as he repeated, baring his teeth, "I asked, is that clear?"

Linda nodded nervously. "Good". He grinned. It was such an ugly grin. "Now I  wanna take that tape off your mouth. But you  hafta promise me you won't scream. Actually, I don't  wanna hear a squeak from you, or  Vecchio's dead. Do you understand?" 

This time Linda nodded quickly, eyes big as saucers. 

"All right, then". The man leaned to take off the tape from her lips, a single motion that made Linda yelp in pain. In seconds she regained her composure and looked expectantly at the man. He seemed pleased that she was not screaming. She could follow orders, and that was good.

"Good girl, Linda. Do you know who I am?" She shook her head, unsure if her voice could function properly, since she was so nervous. "My name is Gino  Carbonelli . We have a friend in common. Her name is Victoria."

Linda could not help shudder at the mention of that woman's name.

"I see you remember her", Mr.  Carbonelli smiled. "Yeah, she sure makes lasting impressions. You see, she and I have unfinished businesses. I need to locate her, and I thought you might be willing to help me."

"But I don't know where she is."

"I figured this one out myself, kid. But like I said, I believe you might help me locate her."

Linda did not like the man and  she  did not trust him. But she kept quiet, waiting to see if he could explain a little bit more what he meant. Instead,  Carbonelli looked behind him and located his two henchmen. He gestured at the man who was near the door, and he went out.  Carbonelli turned to Linda again. "Now, I guess you might be hungry, and I ordered some room service. You probably have guessed by now that we are in a hotel."

"Are you going to kill us?"

Carbonelli laughed softly. "Now, this I like, kid: honest and straight. No, Linda, I am not  gonna kill you. If you were not crippled, I might even think of having some fun with you, but I need you to find that two-timing shady lady who has put us in this situation. Now, about  Vecchio here, I am afraid I don't have much use to him. That is a problem, you see."

Linda felt all blood draining from her face. All her control fled her. "No... Please, don't do him no harm."

He chuckled and shook his head, smiling in a scary way. "Grammar, kid. Never forget grammar. You are using a double negative."

"Please don't harm him. I can do anything you want, but don't harm him."

The grin got wider. "So touching. Matter of fact, it touches me so much I may even decide to keep  Vecchio alive". He shook his head, that scary smile. "See, I am starting to believe I can have fun with you, after all. In a different way, of course."

There were muffled sounds coming from the ground and  Carbonelli kicked Ray again. "Lose the attitude, cop, or I might decide you will  not be usefu l after al l.  _ Capicci _ ?"

Linda wished so much she could see Ray. But she was tied up to the headboard, her arms were sore and her legs... Come to think of it, now her legs seemed to be feeling even more than before. Maybe it was because s he was in a heated environment.

"Hey kid",  Carbonelli interrupted her thoughts. "Don't you  wanna ask any more questions?"

"Will you answer them?"

"Depends on the question."

She frowned and then candidly asked another direct question. "If you don't want to kill us, what are your plans? What do you want to do to us?"

"Fair question. You deserve an honest answer. Like I said, I got plans for you. I am trying to figure out what to do with Vecchio yet. But I thought you might wanna eat before we talked business."

Eat? Linda was surprised at the request. "I am not hungry."

Carbonelli looked at her. "Really? That's news. But it's been a while since you had something to eat. You can't recover from this... illness if you don't eat properly. Eat it anyway."

"I am not sick. I was poisoned and now I am  paralyzed . That is what happened. It's got nothing to do with food."

"Look, kid, I am Italian, and we think food is important. I guess  Vecchio might have taught you that."

Linda looked at  Carbonelli , trying to guess how he would react if she asked him something. He noticed her inquiring stare and got uncomfortable. "What?"

"I... I...", She forced herself to breath deep. "I would like to talk to Ray, please."

"Now why would I do that? What would you do for me?"

She answered the first thing that got through her brain. "I would eat."

Carbonelli laughed hard for some seconds, and Linda was alarmed and confused. Did she say anything wrong?

"I have to tell you, Linda: you are totally different from what I expected. I like you. I almost feel sorry for all this." 

The man got back carrying a tray. The smell alone made Linda's mouth water. She discovered she was not only hungry, but she was actually anxious to eat anything that was not Inuit food.  Carbonelli looked at her. "I won't promise you anything. But if you eat, we might talk about it again. OK?"

Linda nodded eagerly, and tried to prop herself up, but could hardly move.  Carbonelli took the tray, cut some pieces and presented the fork to her, saying, "Now open wide."

She was surprised, but accepted the food. It was nothing fancy – turkey and smashed potatoes. Nevertheless, after all that time eating raw seal meat or poorly boiled caribou, it tasted like a feast made in heaven.

Still, Linda was smart enough not to let  Carbonelli know how much she was enjoying it. After a few mouthfuls, she tried to refuse, but the mobster forced at least two more rounds. Then it was washed with some ginger ale. Linda sighed, sated. She had never felt so good about food before.

Carbonelli seemed satisfied. "Now that is better, isn't it?"

"It was good food. Can Ray have any?"

"Don't worry. He will be fed." 

Carbonelli turned to the henchman and said something  another language . The man nodded and Ray began to make noises. Then the henchman stooped to pick Ray up, and the cop resisted. Linda got agitated, the ties bruising more of her wrists.

"What are you doing? What is going on? Please don’t hurt him! "

"There is no need to fuss",  Carbonelli said. "I just asked Marco to get a comfortable bed to  Vecchio in the other room."

The man called Marco lift Ray up, hunched him over his left shoulder. Linda saw Ray was tied on his hands and ankles. There were bruises in his face, and he was struggling as he was taken away. Her heart raced, and there were tears of fear flowing down her face. "No, please. Please don't hurt him."

"Hey, kid, don't worry."

The door to the other room was closed. "Ray! I want to be with him. Please!"

"We need to talk,  and  he needs to get his dinner. There is no need to get alarmed. And if you make any noise or attract the wrong kind of attention, I might get angry with you." The last parted sounded like the threat it was, and Linda flinched, still crying. "Now, that is better. How about we talk some more?"

Linda's control snapped. "What do you want from me?" It was almost a shout, and she was crying out of control. She was also ashamed to be out of control. It was a sign that they had power over her.

Carbonelli smiled. Now he had her where he wanted. "I need you as bait. If I put you in the equation, I know Victoria will show up. Then I can get her."

"If you love her so much, why don't you tell the police all you know? They are also trying to find her."

"Love?"  Carbonelli laughed hard again, and this time it was almost snarling. "I don't love that bitch. But she fled with  _ my _ money. Actually, it was the Don's money. My luck is that he is a patient man, and he has been willing to give me some time. But my time is running out, kid. I need you as level to lure her to me."

Linda did not understand. "She won't come. She wants me dead. She tried that many times."

"I know. I helped her do it." Linda's eyes bugged out and her shaking got worse. "No, don't worry. I  won’t do it now, and I don’t know why she did that . All I know is that she was obsessed with you. She followed you, knew everything about you, put a spy to befriend you. If my plan works fine, then she will come out because she is so focused on you."

"I don't know why you think that". Belatedly Linda  realized it was not the smartest thing to say. If Mr.  Carbonelli saw no use to her and Ray, they were both as good as dead already. "Look, Mr.  Carbonelli , I am trying to help you. It would be better if you told the police all you know and - "

He laughed. "Nice try, kid. But I have everything mapped out. You see, my plan is that I keep you under my wing, and turn  Vecchio in. He goes to jail and won't bother us anymore. I use  Vecchio and you to get to the Mountie. The Mountie tracks Victoria down and bring her to me. Easy, right?"

Linda turned white as the sheets of the bed she was lying on. "You can't do that. If Ray gets arrested... Do you know what they do to cops in prison?" 

"He should have thought about it before he broke the law."

"But he did not break the law. He was charged of murdering me, but I am alive."

"Honey, you forgot he took off after you? As far as I can see, he is guilty of resisting the arrest in Chicago, illegal entry in Canada, stealing the assistant DA's car and impersonating someone to use his credit card. He is in for some big time in jail. But I have friends in Joliet. I can keep an eye on him and use him to make the Mountie find Victo ria. If  Vecchio does not get co operative, he is dog food in the can ."

"No! You can't do that!" Linda became restless and her wrists were bleeding. "Leave Ray alone!"

Carbonelli warned, "You keep it down, girl, or  Vecchio may not even make it to Joliet."

Linda forced herself to get still. In that moment, the door opened and another one of the henchmen came inside, greeting, "Boss."

Carbonelli answered in another language, and Linda  realized it was very similar to the one Ma  Vecchio used to talk to her sons, on occasion. So, it must be Italian.

The mobster and his colleague exchanged a few words,  Carbonelli looking pleased. A small piece of paper exchanged hands, and Linda tried to  realize what was going on. The henchman had brought some information that  Carbonelli had obviously been expecting.

"There is something I am not quite sure", the mobster told Linda. "What do you know about Victoria and a couple?"

"A couple?"

"Yes, husband and wife. Young people, quite rich. They live up north of the States with their small baby. Some very cute child, really gorgeous, you know? Anyway, Victoria kept an eye on them since the baby was born. They are really loaded. She thought I did not know about it, and wanted to hide this from me. She always kept in touch with these Ritchie Rich types, to see if the kid was okay, and if the baby was fine. Do you know anything about it?"

For a moment, Linda could not breathe. She was so pale  Carbonelli thought she was going to faint. "Hey, kid, what's wrong? Are you sick or something?"

The words left Linda's mouth before she thought twice. "It’s my baby... The baby... is mine... She stole it from me... with the help of a doctor... She sold them... the baby.... She sold...  _ my  _ baby..."

Carbonelli was horrified. "She sold them your  _ baby?! _ Oh, kid, I am sorry. That is not nice, not nice at all. That bitch  is really a snake.  _ Putta _ !" 

Linda's tears seemed to move the mobster. The big guy seemed to get his voice softer. "Look, I have the address of the couple that has your baby. I am sure that if that  _ putta _ finds out I located them, then she will appear. So after everything is over and I get the Don's money back, then I will let you have your kid. What do you say?"

Linda looked at him, trying to see if his face conveyed any sincerity. Her voice was weak and pleading. "Would you be willing to do that, Mr.  Carbonelli ?"

The mobster used the back of his hand to wipe some of the tears from her cheeks. "I am willing to do that, yes. No one should try to take away a son from his mother. But there are a few things I have to deal with first, and then we'll see how things turn out, OK? So, now you be a nice girl and keep your friend  Vecchio company, alright?" He turned to the henchman, said some more few words in Italian, then explained it to Linda, "Sal will take you there."

Linda said, "Can these ties come off, please? I promise I won't do anything. I can't walk, I can't get away."

"Sorry, but no. You may feel tempted to free Vecchio, and this I cannot risk. Now off you go."

She allowed herself to be picked up by Sal the henchman, not insisting in anything more because at least she would be with Ray.

The cop raised his head the minute the door was open and Sal brought Linda inside the room. He was still tied and gagged, and there was a large bruise in his cheek.

The girl was laid on the bed beside Ray, and her tied hands were held to the headboard once more. Her arms ached at the strain, and Sal made sure her bonds were safe. The henchman stared at her, then looked at Ray and grunted before leaving them alone. Linda let herself sigh in relief.

"You are OK, Ray? I am fine, so don't worry about me." The cop was still tied, and he moaned a little, huge green eyes staring at her. "I can't understand you, Ray, so I guess I will have to do all the talking. OK, here is what Mr.  Carbonelli told me. His plans are to send you to jail, and make Ben go after Victoria so he can get the money she stole from him or his boss. He wants to convince Ben by holding me hostage and also controlling you in a prison named Juliet, or something like that." Ray mumbled something and Linda shrugged. "I don't know what you are saying, Ray. All I know is that I am very relieved that he gave up the idea to kill you."

Linda watched Ray and she almost saw his eyes smiling at her. "I love you, Ray. But I want to tell you something Mr.  Carbonelli told me: I think he has located my baby. You know, the one that was stolen from me. He asked about a couple that has a small baby, and I think they are the ones who bought my child. He said I could have my baby back when this is all over, Ray." Green eyes were bulging at her. 

Linda lowered her voice. "And there is something else I wanted to tell you. Remember when I was out in the snow? Ray, I could feel my legs getting cold. This is really a good sign and I am sure that if Dr. Wilson could -"

The door opening interrupted her. She turned her head to see the henchman called Marco coming in the room. "Sorry to disturb, but the boss told me to check you out."

Linda tried to be nice. "We are fine, thank you."

The man closed the door, smiled and insisted. "I thought you would like me to check up on you. Since you will be staying some time, I think it would be nice to get to know each other."

There was something in the man's tone that frightened Linda, but she kept a polite attitude. "That is very kind, but if you don't mind  –  "

Marco  sat on the bed and caressed her face, his grin totally feral. "Actually, honey, I  _ do _ mind. We could have  _ such _ a good time."

Ray struggled to move and moan, and was solemnly punched and thrown out of bed. Linda screamed on the top of her lungs, trying to avoid the man's touch.

And that was when hell broke loose.


	18. Chapter 18

## Chapter 18

From the other room, came sounds of doors being bust, gunshots, furniture breaking.  The henchman  Marco stopped his attac k on Linda. At the sounds coming from next door, he spun, hand already on the piece he was carrying as Linda screamed away. There were intruders in the other hotel room.

The door went crashing down,  hitting Marco fully in the face and knocking him out cold.  Linda looked at the door and thought she was seeing illusions through her misty eyes.  What she saw looked like Fraser, gun in hand, pale as he saw her. For a second, time stopped.

"Linda...!" It was Fraser’s voice.

But it _had_ to be an illusion. She had never seen Fraser with a gun in his hand her whole life. 

Then the illusion of Fraser put away the gun, checking to see if Marco was really out and came to her. On the other room, the shooting had finally stopped, but not the shouting. Not that Linda was listening, anyway. 

Linda could not take her eyes away from the Mountie as he untied her from the headboard. Her wrists were burning and he took her gently in her arms. "Are you  all right, my love ?"

She just looked in his face, shaking hard, and her voice was so soft he thought he missed it, "Ben...? Are you really here?"

"Yes, Linda, and it is all over now. Are you hurt?"

"No. I am fine, Ben. I am fine", she finally hugged him back, trying to breathe correctly. "Benny... Oh, Benny, Benny, I missed you so much..."

"I missed you, too." He kissed her forehead. "Oh, Linda, I missed you so."

More people came inside the room, police officers. Linda was startled. "Ray is here! He punched Ray!"

" Shsh ", made Fraser, cradling her as if she were a little child. "They will get him right away. Everything is fine. Now we will get you out of here."

He picked her up in his arms and Linda felt his arms around her legs.  But before she could say anything, Meg Thatcher burst in the room, looking thoroughly displeased. "Constable!"

"Yes, Sir?"

"I expect you to take care of the prisoners!"

Fraser put Linda back in the bed, suddenly looking tired and old. "Yes, Sir."

Linda was intrigued as he backed away from her, "Ben?"

He did not answer her. Instead, Fraser relieved the policemen who had picked Ray up, because the cop had also blacked out from the punch he received from the mobster. Fraser removed Ray's ties and gags, and the detective began to get his senses back. "Benny?"

"Yes, Ray. It's me. Now I am placing you under arrest."

Ray looked around and his eyes met Thatcher. Then he repeated, "Arrest?"

Eyes bulging out, Linda suppressed a squeak. Benny... arresting  _ Ray _ ?!

Ignoring her, Fraser drew a deep breath then recited, "By the powers that are vested in me by the government of Canada, I am placing you under arrest. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can be used against you in a court of law. It is my duty to inform you that you have the right to retain and instruct counsel of your choice in private and without delay. Before you decide to answer any question concerning this investigation you may call a lawyer of your choice or get free advice from Duty Counsel. If you wish to contact Legal Aid duty  counsel, I can provide you with a telephone number and a telephone will be made available to you. Do you understand these rights?"

Ray did not answer immediately. He just looked at Fraser, knowing the pain his friend must have been feeling. The Dragon Lady was there, and Ray knew Fraser was being forced to do it. So, he faced his friend, and with infinite sweetness in green Italian eyes, he nodded, "Yes, Benny, I do."

It made a tear roll down Linda's cheek. Ray was handcuffed and the policeman took him away, as Linda watched. Fraser finally faced his superior and asked, "Sir, may I...?" 

It took a few seconds, but Meg Thatcher nodded, some of her sharpness gone. "Of course, Fraser".

Linda was so overwhelmed she could barely react when Fraser picked her up again in his arms. Then she hugged him hard, as if she was afraid he could simply disappear. 

That was how she felt it.

"Ben, is it snowing?"

"No, it is a spring day."

"Your back is wet."

Linda raised her wet hand to show him, and it came out red from his back. Bright red, brighter than she had ever seen. They both saw it. They both knew what it meant. "Oh no... Benny, please... NO! "

Fraser's arms started to give way. So did his legs. He was turning  pale . "Oh, dear .. ."

Linda yelled, "Meg, help! Benny is hurt! He is bleeding! Somebody, help! HELP!"

Fraser never let her go as he fell on the floor, landing on his posterior, Linda on his lap, both sitting on the floor awkwardly. And there was screaming all around, calling an ambulance and paramedics. Linda started to scream, too, especially after Fraser stared emptily at her, struggling to say, "I love you..."

All Linda could do was shout, "Ben! Ben!"

He fell on the ground, senseless, she lost her balance and fell over him, her useless legs hardly able to feel his body beneath her. Paramedics had to peel her off him, and a mild sedative was given as they put her on a gurney and wheeled her away. She was still calling for him.

When the medication took effect, Linda was finally able to be still long enough to see that Inspector Thatcher had come with her in the ambulance. Linda's heart raced again, and she was dizzy. "Meg, help me , please ."

"Just stay calm, Linda. We are going to a hospital and they are going to take care of you."

"I am not sick! Ben is!  He is bleeding!  Where is he?"

"He was taken first, because he needs more urgent care. He was shot."

Linda's heart cringed at the word. "Oh, no... I need to see him, please."

"I will talk to the doctors. Now calm down."

That seemed to calm Linda a bit. Then she remembered, "What about Ray? Did you order him arrested? Why did you do that, Meg?"

"Linda, it is the law. He entered illegally in the country."

"So did I! Arrest me, too!"

"Look, Linda, I understand you are upset, but your case is different. You have been brought to the country. The native people have kidnapped you."

"No!"

The paramedic warned, "Ladies,  excuse me, but  this is an ambulance, and it has hospital rules. Please keep your voice down." 

Linda winced at such polite intervention and did not dare to say another word till they got to the hospital. Then she asked, as she was taken out of the ambulance and felt the cold air hitting her face, "Where is this hospital?"

The paramedic rolled her inside the big building. "This is Mercy Hospital, the closest one we could get."

"But where is it? What place is this?"

"Yellowknife."

Linda had heard that name before. Fraser told her it was a town in northern Canada. Where was he? Her thoughts were interrupted when she was taken to a sort of infirmary room and a smiling doctor began to exam her. She looked around and  realized she was all alone, all by herself. Linda suppressed the tears and bore the poking and the prodding around that doctor had to do, besides taking care of her bruised wrists. Good thing that the doctor was a nice one, and he gave her some more medication to relax.

After extensive conference with Inspector Thatcher and then with her doctor in an international call from Chicago, the Canadian doctor pronounced her as fit and as healthy as the circumstances allowed. He told a nurse to take  Linda to an examination room, where she could be more comfortable. There came a RCMP officer, as she  recognized by the uniform – not the red one, though . Thatcher was with him, and she explained to Linda that her deposition was to be taken. Linda nodded and Thatcher left before the girl could ask her anything about Ben. Sighing, Linda endured the extensive inquiry the police man asked her.

Actually, it would have lasted longer, but a nurse with an acute sense of timing interrupted the session, to Linda's undying gratitude. The seasoned nurse brought Linda water and some medication, because apparently Linda was refusing to rest.

"Nurse, could you do me a big  favor ?"

"Certainly."

"I would like to know about a Constable who was taken in shortly before I was. His name is  Benton  Fraser and..."

"You are Ben's friend?"

Linda's eyes grew big. "You know Ben?"

"Sure. He used to patrol this area on occasion. See, this is not such a big town." She smiled. "I know he has been wounded. They were with him in the OR. I will ask around."

"I'd appreciate it."

The nurse smiled and left the room, and Linda began to feel sleepy. But she did not want to fall asleep, for she needed to see Ben. Or Ray,  about whom no one told her anything. At the same time, she was getting quite apprehensive. She fought the medication the best she could.

When the nurse came back, Linda was about to explode. "How is he?"

"He is recovering from surgery. The doctors told his superior officer that he lost a lot of blood but the bullet did not hit any major organ at all. He was very lucky, and he is a strong man, so he should recover in no time."

Linda sensed a tear rolling, one she did not  realize was in her eye. "Thank you so much. May I see him?"

"I don't think it is allowed."

"I am going to see him. I  _ need _ to see him. All I need is a wheelchair. Do you have one here? "

"Miss, you should be asleep. Actually, I gave you a medication, and it should start to make its effect some minutes. So, just relax."

Linda tried to be nice to the nurse. "I really don't need that much sleep. All I need is Ben. Please, nurse, I don't mean to be rude or anything, but I have to see him. Could you get me a wheelchair, please?"

The nurse looked at her, in admiration. "You are very determined."

"I am not determined, I am... I am...", Linda struggled for the word, then she remembered the ring in her hand. "I am his fiancée." Linda blushed at the lie, but held the hand up so the nurse could see the ring. "So, I am sorry, but if you don't help me, I will do it by myself, even if I have to crawl to see him."

The nurse schooled her surprise and agreed. "OK. But there is a police officer at your door to protect you. I will have to ask permission from him, from the doctor and from Ben's  superior  officer."

"I understand. And I thank you once again."

It had to be cleared with a lot of people first, but finally, Linda was admitted to the ICU room where Fraser was recovering from surgery.

Linda remembered it had been months since she came inside one of those. This  one  was very small, nothing much more than a corner where Fraser's bed was, and she  rolled her  wheel chair  right next to him.

His face was so pale that her heart cringed with apprehension. Linda looked at the figure in bed. She knew she was scared. Ben had never fallen ill, and she had never seen him  so vulnerable. Normally, she would try to deal with her fear and dedicate herself to nurse him, take good care of him until he was on his feet. But without her legs, how could she?

It was a good thing that she could feel her legs, now. Maybe, in a short time, she could start using crutches. That should happen ,  if she could regain some movement in her legs. And she knew that could  only  be accomplished by fierce physical therapy.

Linda had to take the wheelchair closer to the bed to take his left hand into hers. The other one was busy with the IV that granted Ben with all fluids he needed. She kissed the hand gently. "I love you, Benny", she murmured.

Linda put the hand back in the bed and rested her forehead near it, because the medication was finally kicking in her system. Maybe if she just closed her eyes for a minute or so...

** * * * **

"Linda?"

Her back hurt and Linda sat up  dizzily . Looking around, she  realized she had fallen asleep near Benny's bed. Then she looked at the person who woke her up. "Meg?"

The Inspector brought the wheelchair around and whispered , "Come on. We need to talk and Fraser has to rest."

Linda stopped the chair before Meg pushed further. "No!", she whispered. "I don't want to leave him."

"We are just going back to your room, Linda. We won't be far. Now let's go and let Fraser rest."

Linda did not wait to get to her room to start the questions. "Have you seen Ray?"

Meg rolled the chair inside the room and answered, "Yes, and I assured him there is an American representative on his way to look at his case. He is entitled to diplomatic counselling, same as you. In your case, though, I was entrusted by my government to make sure you receive adequate treatment."

"I am great, Meg," Linda assured. "Just tired, but I want to stay with Ben. How is he?"

By then Meg had taken Linda inside the room and took a chair to sit in front of her. The Inspector had an inscrutable statement on her face as she looked straight in Linda's eyes. "Fraser has lost too much blood, and the doctors are worried. His condition is not what it used to be. Of course, he is a strong man, but since you were gone, Linda, many things had happened, and he... he just was not taking care of himself."

Linda’s heart crushed inside her chest. "Oh, no."

"So, the doctors believe that he will recover, but it may take longer than it might have been. He will be transferred to the RCMP medical facility in Ottawa as soon as he is able to make such a long travel."

Linda felt a cold hand holding her heart. It was painful. "Transferred? Can I go, too?"

Meg's face turned even more  somber than before. "Well, Linda, that is another thing we need to talk about. The doctors told me you will be eligible for release tomorrow."

"I am fine now. I told you."

"I know. But as soon as you get released, you will be put in a plane with a social worker to get you back to Chicago as fast as it is possible." 

Plane? Back to Chicago? "But I would not be with Ben...!"

"No, Linda, you would not. I am sorry, but there is nothing I can do. It is procedure, and the people who have authority over you recommended it to be done as soon as possible. You know Dr.  Lennyard is very anxious to see you, and Dr. Wilson has already called twice. They are  quite  worried about your condition and the whole situation, of course ." She smiled. "They said the  Vecchios are also worried sick about you, and they won't give them a moment of peace until they see you back in town."

Linda was still overwhelmed. After all she had been through, she would have to leave Ben behind? "Meg... Please, Meg... I want to be with Ben..."

Meg could feel her heart breaking, and tried to explain. "Linda, the sooner we solve this, the better it is for everybody. Otherwise, it could be bad on those native people who took care of you. We managed to cut a deal with the provincial government so they would not face any charges. But you are on Canadian soil with no papers and you have not come here of your own free will. It is hard enough as it is, but if you remain longer, there will be no way to avoid the kidnapping charges on them."

Linda avoided looking at the Mountie lady. She knew Meg was right. But she wanted so much to be with Ben. Meg went on, "Also, Dr.  Lennyard was willing to drop any charges regarding illegal practice of Medicine  – not that it would be any good anyway. Linda, what I am trying to make you understand is that you could harm a bunch of  good  people if you insist on staying with Fraser, as cruel as it sounds. I am not happy about it either, but I want to make sure you understand it. Do you, Linda?"

The girl was crying in silence, absorbing all the Inspector's words. "I understand. Is Ray also going with me?"

"I think that this is going to happen anyway. His transfer involves a lit tle bit more bureaucracy, though."

"When are we going?"

"If everything goes right, then it is tomorrow. Could be the next day, too."

Linda sighed. The next words were going to be hard for her to say, and she knew it. "Ok. I understand everything, Meg. I promise I won't give you any kind of trouble, and I will go with the social worker you mentioned. But until then, I want to stay with Ben all the time. Please tell me it is possible."

"I don't know, Linda. But you know I will do everything I can."

"Then do it. I need to stay with him, Meg. Please."

Her voice was soft. "I know. I will call the nurse so you can rest."

Linda tried to wheel herself out of the room. "No. No rest, and no nurse. Get me back to Ben, please."

"I'll do my best." 

"Meg, why is there a guard at my door?"

"We are not sure  Carbonelli was acting on his own. There may be other people interested in you, Linda. You need protection."

"I am not sure about it. He told me he was merely trying to see if Victoria would show up. I don't think there is other people involved."

"I read your statement to the police. But we can never be too sure."

" Okay , then. Is the police going to talk to  Carbonelli ?"

"I am sure they al ready did. But why do you ask?"

Linda shrugged. "There is a lot I don't understand here, Meg. Ben was arrested for murdering me, and then Ray was arrested. Why would anyone do that?"

"We were trying to figure out that one ourselves. It seems your disappearance gave the perfect excuse for an ongoing scheme involving  Chicago Police  Internal Affairs and the FBI against the 27th precinct. They traced it back to a grudge involving Lt. Welsh and a very disgusting person  at the District Attorney’s Office  named  Brandauer . It has nothing to do with you, though. "

Linda shook her head. "I don't know him. And I don't  recognize the name, either." She yawned. "I am getting tired."

Meg stood up. "I will ask the nurse to get you into bed."

"No!" said Linda, a little louder than she intended. "I want to stay with Ben."

"He is probably recovering, Linda. You should be doing the same."

"Meg, I want to be with him." Linda asked quietly and firmly, though without hostility. "Please."

"Of course." The Inspector smiled. "I will see to it right away".

She left the room, and Linda wheeled her chair out. The guard standing near her door suddenly sprang into life, startling her. 

"Miss, please wait in your room until a nurse comes to pick you up." 

"I will just get to that room over there", she pointed. "There is no need to bother a nurse."

"Still, Miss, I have my orders. No one is supposed to get in or out of the room until Inspector Thatcher returns".

"I see," sighed Linda, obviously in a bad mood. "Guess I will have to come back then".

"I am sorry, Miss."

Linda wheeled herself in the room again, and tried to calm down to wait patiently until she was taken to Benny again. 

It paid off. Not only did the nurse wheel her there, but she was also given a bed at Benny's side, so they could rest together. Linda knew this sort of privilege was granted only to married couples. It seemed that the lie about being Ben's fiancée had earned Linda official recognition as Ben's spouse. She blushed when she  realized it, and told the nurse that it was not entirely true. The lady merely tucked her in the bed and smiled, threatening to return with medication if Linda did not get some sleep soon. The girl smiled back and took Benny's hand into hers.

Linda talked to him practically all night long. She told him of some adventures she had on native country, and many impressions on Canada, not entirely believing she was there. Benny, however, did not recover his senses. Linda longed to see the blue eyes cast at her, in a way that always made her heart swell with love. Carefully, Linda rested her head in Benny's chest, the sound of his beating heart making her sleep.

Then the dreaded hour came.


	19. Chapter 19

## Chapter 19

Two nurses came in the room , and one of them woke her up. " I am sorry to disturb you.  You have to go back to your bed, Linda. Time to go home."

Linda was taken apart from Ben and brought to her own bed gently by the male nurse, and she was not even sufficiently awake to react. "What  – What?"

"Calm down," the nurse said, as she was rolled away in the gurney . "You will be leaving the hospital in a few minutes."

Instinctively, Linda tried to resist a n d looked around. "No, please. Ben. Where is Benny?"

"We will take good care of him for you", explained the nurse patiently. "Now let's take care of you."

Linda's eyes filled with tears as she was taken to her room, where the nurse cleaned her and dressed her with the clothes given by social services. 

When Inspector Thatcher came inside, Linda was sitting in her chair, clean, refreshed and thoroughly devastated. Meg's heart broke at the sight. "Oh, Linda..."

She tried to wipe her tears and compose herself. "I am sorry, Meg. I promised I would not give you any trouble. I am ready to go."

"I am so sorry, Linda. I really am."

"I was hoping he would wake up. I wished... I could...say goodbye...."

"I will tell him you were with him all the time."

Linda cocked her head. "Aren't you coming?"

"No, not now. I told you a social worker would take you."

"Yes, but I assumed you would be with me, too." Linda paled a little. "Will I be alone?"

"Of course not. The social worker will be with you all the time, and she will meet you at the airport. A car is coming to pick you up now."

Linda seemed to be having hard time keeping the blood on her face. "Oh God. I have... never been on plane." 

Thatcher raised her eyes and cast a glance at the nurse. Linda missed what they could be communicating in that look. "Be sure to tell the social worker that. And don't worry. It is quite safe, and you will  have to catch a few planes till you get to Chicago. There will be plenty of new things for you to see."

" Okay . When will you get to Chicago?"

"In a few days. I still have a couple of things to figure out here, and I will try to reach you when I get there."

Linda was blushing when she said. "Meg, would you do me a  favor ? Please?"

Meg caught Linda's hand in hers and reassured softly. "I know what you will ask. I will be happy to tell Fraser that you wanted to say goodbye."

Linda smiled. "And that I love him."

"I am sure he knows that."

"Can you keep an eye at Ray, too?"

"I will do what I can Linda. Detective  Vecchio is no longer a concern for the RCMP. The  Foreign Affairs Ministry is taking care of his case. But I am following his case closely and I will keep the  Vecchios posted."

"I appreciate it."

There was a polite knock on the door and the guard came in, grabbing everyone else's attention. He nodded at Thatcher, who apparently had been waiting for that. She turned to Linda. "The  official  car is here". 

Linda's heart sped. "OK."

The nurse took hold of her wheelchair and said, "I will go with you to the airport, OK?"

Linda just nodded and looked at Thatcher. She raised her arms, silently making a request, and Meg complied. They hugged, and Linda tried very hard to hid her tears, her fear.

"Everything will be fine", whispered Meg. "You will see."

"Thanks for everything. You have been a real friend."

Linda was taken out of Mercy Hospital and brought to Yellowknife's small airport in a van. There she met Louise, the middle-aged red-haired social worker that would go with her until Chicago. The nurse asked Louise a few questions about her medical training, should there be any emergency, and handed her a bag with some sort of medical kit, too.

Everything happened at the airport's lobby, and Linda had half  an ear to both women. Her heart was there, at Yellowknife, and though she had promised Inspector Thatcher to go without causing trouble, she had not promised to go with a smile.

"Are you ready, Linda?", asked Louise with a smile, bringing Linda back to the present. "The plane leaves in half an hour."

"Yes, Ma'am."

"Please, call me Louise."

"Yes, Ma'am. I mean, Louise."

The nurse said, "Goodbye, Linda, and have a safe trip."

"Thank you, nurse. Thanks for everything you did for me and Ben at the hospital."

"I will take good care of him for you." 

"I know you will. Thanks again."

Louise wheeled Linda to the waiting area, and said, "Well, now we basically wait. We will be doing a lot of that, with so many planes until we reach Chicago. Is this really the first time you will travel by plane?"

"Yes, Ma  – Louise. This is quite new for me. I grew up in a hospital."

"I  heard about the way you came up here . Quite an adventure, but it must have been so stressful . I am sorry for everything you went through."

"Thank you. That is very kind of you."

Louise parked the wheelchair by a group of seats, then sat down and smiled. "You are very polite, and not at all like the Americans portrayed. Up here in Canada, we hear some stories, and I am so happy find they are not true."

Linda just blushed, embarrassed, as Louise kept talking about planes. But half her words were lost to Linda when she spotted the automatic doors opening and three men walking in. One of them she would  recognize anywhere in the world. Her heart raced. 

"Ray..."

They were walking in the other direction, and Linda called, "Ray!"

Louise turned around as Ray disappeared through a door with his escorts. "Who?"

"My friend Ray! There he is!"

"Could he be taking the same plane?", asked Louise. "I was told they would be extraditing a criminal in the same trip, but  – "

Linda never let her finish, her heart racing. "Can I go with him? Please?"

Green eyes filled with tears pierced Louise's heart. The old lady looked at Linda, intrigued, and never had a chance to answer, because she heard a call from the loudspeakers. "Our flight is being called. We have to embark first." 

Linda insisted. "Louise, please."

Louise had already stood up and was pushing the chair. " First, we go on board, dear. Then we will see what we can do, OK? "

The girl looked up at her, and smiled. "OK."

Expectantly,  Linda was pushed through doors, a labyrinth of new faces, people in uniforms, and her eyes were wide at so many new things. Louise got help from several nice people, many in uniforms, and Linda was greeted as a very welcomed guest. Then she reached the  small airport  lanes; and it was very noisy. Her wheelchair was put inside a van with ramps very near the planes, and the vehicle took her to one of the biggest of them. There she was taken  out of the chair and  on the arms of a strong and nice  male  Canadian flight attendant, who carried her up inside the plane. 

To Linda, the  airplane was much smaller than she thought at first. She was transfixed, everything so new and fascinating. It was empty, except for a few seats at the very end, from where she heard voices, and...

"Ray!"

A voice  in the back answered, "Linda?"

"Ray!"

There was some noise in the back, and Linda thought Ray could be in trouble. But she had no time to think about it, for Louise was staring at her, unbelieving. "That man is here again. He will go with us to Winnipeg." 

Linda was so nervous. "Can you take me to him, please?"

The old lady did not understand. "Is that man your friend?"

"A very, very,  _ very _ dear  friend . His name is Ray  Vecchio , and he is actually a policeman from Chicago. Please, Louise."

"Isn't he the one who kidnapped you?"

"No, that is a lie! I've known him for years. He saved my life countless of times, Louise. Please believe me."

She admonished the girl. "Don't get too excited, Linda. It is not good for your condition."

"I am fine, all I need is Ray!", Linda was getting impatient and frustrated. She sighed, then asked, "Please,  _ please _ . All I want is to travel by his side. You can be with us."

"OK, all right." She said, taking off her seat belt. "I will talk to them before the other passengers arrive. But don't get your hopes up too much."

Louise took off in the tiny corridor and Linda craned her neck, trying to see what was going on, heart still racing. Without help, she could hardly see a thing from where she was.

But Linda saw people coming and going through the tiny corridor, some of them staring at her. Two of them wore uniforms she had never seen before and they smiled at her, so she knew they  must be flight attendants. There was a man in a dark suit and shades that stared at her without smiling, and it scared her a lot.

It was taking a lot more time than Linda imagined. She was beginning to fear they would not let her near Ray. She started to shake, and she felt her legs shaking, too. Finally, Louise went back to their seat, and she was smiling. "It wasn't easy, Linda, but I guess it worked out."

"So, can I go?"

"Yes, on two conditions: first, you take a pill. The nurse from the hospital recommended that you take it before we took off. Second, you will never be alone with your friend, and there will be guards around."

"Will you be around, too?"

"I am afraid I have to be."

Linda smiled. "I don't mind you being with us. You are a good person." Linda took the lady's hand. "Thank you. It means a lot to me."

Louise seemed surprised with the gesture, and almost embarrassed. "Ah, well, you'd better take your pill now. The flight attendant will take you to the back of the plane so all the other passengers may come in."

Linda took the pill and then she was taken to the last row of seats, where there was at least four men, and Ray was by the window. The flight attendant placed her near Ray and she wrapped her arms around her friend. A few tears slipped from Linda's eyes, and Ray wiped them. "Hey,  _ ragazza _ ... Aren't you glad to see me?"

"Oh, Ray," whispered Linda. "I am so glad." Then she noticed he was cuffed. She turned around to the men looking at them. "Can't these come off?"

He shrugged. "They want it this way. It is procedure. Don't worry. It is fine."

She snuggled against him. "Yes, it is fine. Being with you is fine, Ray."

"Did you see Benny? They told me he was shot."

"I was with him. He did not wake up, but the doctors say he will be okay. He will be taken to another hospital when he gets better."

Ray used his fingers to lift her chin and looked inside those huge green eyes. "You wanted to stay with him, didn't you?"

Linda's eyes watered instantly. "Yes, I did. I wanted it so much, Ray."

More tears escaped them and she lowered her head. He put her head in his chest and kissed her hair gently. "Everything will be fine, Linda. I promise you."

"I know it will be fine, Ray."

Trying to dispel such emotional moment, Ray asked, "Is it true this is your fist time on a plane?"

"You know it is, Ray. I have never left Chicago, even by train."

"Then there will be so many new things to see. Do you know what are these?" He pointed to a small button at the back of the seat in front of them. "This turns into a table, so we can eat."

Linda was awed. "No way!"

Ray opened the tray and showed her. "See? When the food comes, we open that, then we can eat."

"I have never seen it before." Then she stared at him, still amazed. "There is  _ food _ coming?"

"This flight is  kind of long," explained Ray. "There is a meal included. Maybe two meals."

"Really? So this is a restaurant, too."

"Afraid not. You cannot choose what to eat. But the food is very basic,  so there is no trouble. You know, turkey sandwich, BLT, this sort of thing. But the best thing is when it takes off. We can see everything down  there; I am sure you will love it."

Linda was like the ultimate child taken to an amusement park. Her eyes were wide and she looked intensely at everything Ray was pointing to her. For a short time, she was just a girl, discovering new things, laughing freely and unaware of all iniquities of her life. Everything was new to her: the coming and going of  travelers , even the emergency instructions from the flight attendants, and then the take-off. 

She put on the seat belt, and held Ray's hand hard when the plane flew up. Then she leaned down to see all the beauty of the northern Canadian landscape, with all the snow, mountains, pine trees and rivers. Linda pointed at the houses that seemed so small from afar. Ray felt happy to see the amusement in her face. He kissed her hair, and she smiled at him.

The agents that escorted Ray had the decency to stand back. Some reacted to Linda's innocent questions to Ray, believing it was all an act. But nobody could be that good on an act, and they  realized she was not pretending. Louise always asked if they were good, or hot, or thirsty, and was kind enough to include Ray in her concern. Linda was  very  grateful for that.

The meal was also a source of great delight, despite the fact that Ray had his hands cuffed. Linda was outraged, but managed to calm down when Ray told her it was better to let it go. The girl was unconvinced. "It is not fair, Ray. You are innocent, and you only came here to prove it."

"I broke the law."

"On my account. It was my fault."

"There is nothing we can do now, so let's just eat. Could you, uh, help me?" He held his cuffed hands up. "I am in a bit of a jam here."

"Oh, sure." She tried to cut his beef, then noticed. "You don't have a knife."

Ray turned a shade redder. "I am not supposed to have one, Linda."

"You're not? How come? I have one."

"You  know; a knife can be used as a weapon." He shrugged.

Linda had to take a deep breath to calm down. This was getting ridiculous. She gave the men behind them a sharp look, but said nothing. Then she turned back to cut his meat and mumbled, "Good thing you escaped when you did."

"Why?"

"If that is how they were treating you, you had nothing to do there."

Ray laughed quietly, because Linda rarely was so hostile towards anyone. She must be really pissed, Ray observed, amused. Then Ray felt green eyes staring directly at his own, and there was so much need and love in the eyes, that he felt his heart clenching. "We will be al l  right, won't we, Ray?"

_ Oh, God _ . Ray tried his best smile. "Of course, Linda." He took her hand to his lips and kissed it reassuringly. "Count on that."

She smiled and contained the tears, turning her attention to the fascinating meal and helping Ray eat his. 

Linda watched everything carefully, curiosity brightening her eyes. "I hope we can sit together in the next plane. Louise said we will be taking quite a few until we get home."

Ray decided to ask, and the cop that was escorting him gave them the bad news. "We won't be getting the next plane together. We are going to Toronto, and the little miss is going to Ottawa."

Linda blanched. "W-what? Why?"

The man shrugged. "Extradition procedures. The young lady here needs to clear her situation with Foreign Affairs before leaving the country. Just bureaucracy, anyhow."

She turned, and her voice almost was failing. "Louise, is that true?"

The social worker was surprised. "Oh, yes. I thought you knew." She explained. "We will be going to Ottawa, and there is someone from the Foreign Ministry meeting us at the airport to help us settle all the paperwork."

"And Ray is going to Toronto?"

"I guess." Louise saw how much hurt there was in Linda's eyes. "I am sorry."

Linda lowered her head. "It is not your fault, Louise. You have been nice enough already. Thanks for everything."

The middle-aged woman smiled sadly, and Ray took his tied hands to lift Linda's chin using a finger. "Hey,  girl ." She met his eyes and tried to smile. "We have until this plane lands in Winnipeg , and it is a long flight . We will be together till then, and after that, I want you to wait for me in Chicago."

Linda nodded, sniffling, and thrust herself so Ray could hold her. They sat together, holding each other, oblivious to all stares from officials in suits and social workers. Linda tried to relax and enjoy those last precious moments with one of her dearest people in the whole planet, talking about things to come, and what she would do to wait for Ray. Talking about the impending separation seemed to help her a little bit.

When the plane arrived at Winnipeg, they still had  some time together. As special passengers, they had to wait until everybody else disembarked. Then the guards took Ray. He kissed Linda's forehead deeply and said, "I will be seeing you soon, kid."

Linda tried to smile back at him, but she could not, the tears blurring her eyes. Then he was taken away, and she saw when the guards put him in a car and it went out of her view. Then it was Linda's turn to be taken to a van and head back to the airport area.


	20. Chapter 20

## Chapter 20

From then on, a few things impressed Linda. She smiled politely at the Foreign Ministry  official who greeted them in Ottawa, with her temporary papers, and all novelty of travelling by plane was gone. She became sad and withdrawn, and no matter how much Louise tried to cheer her up, she just didn't respond. And there was no flight direct to Chicago  – they had to change planes in Detroit.

Alarmed by the state the girl was in, the social worker decided to medicate her, and as a result, Linda was almost unconscious when she finally arrived at Chicago's O'Hare airport. Louise took her to the airport's infirmary and from there they called an ambulance and Dr.  Lennyard . 

However, what they never counted on was the arrival of Ma  Vecchio , in full Italian mother mode. Warned by Inspector Thatcher, the  Vecchio family formed a small party to pick up Linda at O'Hare and was quite upset when the girl never showed up on the arrival gate. So, they inquired and easily found out what happened.

_ "Bambina!" _

Sleepily, Linda raised her head from the  gurney they had put her and tried to smile. "Hi, Ma. I don't feel so good."

Linda heard a fine voice behind her, and realized Frannie was blaming Louise for her current state. The youngest of the Vecchio was laying hard on the social worker, and Ma was equally strong in voicing her disagreement. Linda knew it was not Louise's fault, and quickly tried to dispel the confusion. But she could not. Only then, when she tried to protest, she realized she was really sick. The airport was spinning, and Linda could feel her senses slipping away. "Please", she whispered and raised her arm. "Please help me."

The voices stopped screaming, and Linda waited until Ma took her hand into hers. "What is it,  _ b _ _ ambina _ ? What are you trying to say?"

Linda put in a great deal of effort to utter, "This is Louise. Louise has helped me see Ray. Please treat her well."

Then there were questions, more questions, and Linda was so exhausted, she could not say she was making any sense. She tried to answer some of those questions.

Linda could also hear Louise telling Mrs.  Vecchio they have been travelling for the past 30 hours. Then Dr.  Lennyard arrived, and Linda could feel his hand on her head, but could not say anything to him, just moaned. She wanted to rest, and he kept calling her. He also said something about over-sedation, something Linda did not register well. But she remembered to say. "My legs..."

The doctor asked, getting closer to her, "What? Linda, repeat, please."

"My legs... I can... feel the heat..." Then it was total oblivion falling upon her.

_*** * *** _

Linda woke up in a familiar place: a hospital. She felt sleepy, although in mild pain, her senses and consciousness dulled somehow. She turned her head, and she saw Francesca standing near the bed, her big brown eyes expectantly looking down at her. "Linda?"

Trying to answer, the only noise Linda could produce was a croak, her throat dry.  Frannie took a glass of water, put a straw in it and helped Linda sip a few times. Linda sighed when she was done.  Frannie smiled. "Feel better?"

Linda smiled weakly, her speech was still slurred. "Yes. What happened?"

"Doc says you were given the wrong medicine. Bad reaction turned to worse because you were overmedicated. That poor lady said she was feeling awful, but those were the instructions she received."

"Louise... Not her fault. Is she here?"

"She could not stay. Had to get back to Canada. Left you all good wishes. She is nice."

" Yes, she is. She let me see Ray." Linda looked around. "How long  have I  been  here?"

"You have been under for two  whole  days," said  Frannie . "And everything looks great, Linda. The doctors have been doing some tests while you were resting. They find your condition improving." The youngest of the  Vecchio's sounded excited. "Linda, they are talking about you going on crutches soon! Isn't that great?"

Not really listening, Linda tried to smile at  Frannie's excitement, but she  realized her senses going away again. "Yes,  Frannie . And what about Ray?"

"He is free now. A few hours after he arrived, the FBI undid the confusion. I still don't understand all of it, but in the end it seems the Feds were willing to let go Ray's escape, since that mobster guy was caught. He is working hard to get Fraser back."  Frannie flashed her a grin. "Also, Inspector Thatcher has called."

That made Linda's heart race. "She did? From where?"

"From a Somewhere Knife town in Canada. She wanted you to know that Fraser is out of danger, and he is healing fine. Soon he will  got to a bigger hospital. I did not know he had been shot."

Linda closed her eyes and shuddered, remembering when she was lying on a pool of blood soaking the red serge. "He was very bad,  Frannie . I was so scared."

"But now he is better, and so are you. I will tell Ma you are awake."

Sighing, Linda closed her eyes again, her speech slurred even more. "But I don't think I will be for long, Francesca."

"Oh, please, don't fall asleep."  Frannie seemed desolated. "I want to know about all Canada and what happened there."

Linda's eyes wouldn't open for all the tea in China. " It is cold up there... Very cold..." Then she could not hear  Frannie no more.

_*** * *** _

Linda woke up slowly, trying to reassess where she was. At the same time, it hit her.

Pain. At first it seemed excruciating, and she could hardly breathe. But after a few minutes, she was able to take hold of herself and  realized the pain was coming from her legs. It was as if someone was hitting her bones with a hammer. Now it was only throbbing, and Linda thought she could  bear it.

She tried to sit up, and this time she was success ful. That brought a tired smile to her face. She had not been able to sit  by herself since she became  paralyzed . Stretching herself a little more, she was able to bring about the glass of water and have a few sips.

A nurse came in as Linda was struggling to get the glass back to the tray without spilling it. "Well, hi, Linda . Nice to see you awake."

Linda  recognized the girl. "Patty, hello."

"Why didn't you call someone to get you the water? It is almost time for your medication anyway."

"I did not know that."

"How do you feel?"

"I am a little sore. My legs hurt a bit."

Patty looked at her and tried to hide the shock as Linda said that, t hen she adopted a casual tone. "Let's see what we can do about that. Now that you are awake, I will call Dr.  Lennyard . He said he wanted to talk to you as soon as you were  up ."

"OK."

Linda took her medication and waited for the doctor,  realizing the pain in the legs was subsiding fast. Maybe the pill was a painkiller. They usually get Linda drowsy, but now she was feeling quite alert.

"Welcome back, Linda." Dr.  Lennyard greeted her with a warm smile and took her hands in his. "I am so glad to see you. I feel relieved."

Linda blushed, for she had never seen the doctor so sentimental before. "I am glad to see you, too, doctor." 

He took the chair closer to her. "It seems that you have been through quite an adventure."

She nodded. "I was  in Canada, doctor. I find it so hard to believe."

"Now why don't you tell me everything about it? I am dying to hear everything you have to say."

It took Linda  at least two whole hours to tell the doctor everything that happened. Dr.  Lennyard asked her a lot of questions, especially about the Inuit traditional healing treatment. Linda warned him she did not know much about it, but she answered all his questions to her best capacity.

Even though they had a pleasant conversation, the doctor sensed something wrong with Linda. She was twisting her arms and hands. Those were signs that she was distressed or afraid about something, though. Eventually, she would tell him. And she did.

"I did not do anything wrong, did I?"

"Why do you ask that, Linda?"

"I agreed with the treatment with the shaman, because I didn't know what else to do. I don't know if I was right or wrong in doing so."

"What do you think? So you think it was wrong?"

She shrugged. "I am not sure. All I know is that he had good intentions.  Everyone in the tribe was so good to me. They wanted to help, and they were Ben's friends. I did not feel it as being a wrong thing, but now... I am afraid you will get mad at me."

"Linda, I am sure you did the best you could. And I am willing to agree with anything you believe might be helpful to you. Do you believe that the treatment has helped you?"

"Yes, I do. I did not believe at first, but now that I can feel my legs again..."

"Oh, yes. Dr. Wilson was very optimistic when he heard about it. He would like you to talk to him, too. Can you still feel your legs? You told Nurse Patty they were hurting."

"Yes, there is some sort of pain. It was strong when I woke up, but now it feels better."

"Good. We have been running some exams while you were unconscious. It seems the results are  quite  promising. Somehow, the blood-flooded areas in your brain had been significantly reduced. That might explain the return of feeling to your legs. But Dr. Wilson will surely want you to run some tests."

Linda sighed.  Dr ,  Lennyard eyed her clinically. "How do you feel about it, Linda? You may be able to walk again. It must be a thrill."

The doctor watched carefully as the girl fixed her eyes on her lap in bed. Yes, she surely was afraid. "It should be, I know. But... I feel funny. I am not as happy as I thought I would be. I don't know why."

"Could it be fear?"

Linda seemed puzzled. "Fear? Why would I fear anything? Walking again is such a dream, why would I fear it?"

"No, I expressed myself in a wrong way. I mean that you might be afraid to believe that you can walk again, and then it might not happen. So, you might be refusing to feel anything, or to be happy, so you won't suffer if this dream does not come true."

Linda was staring at him, his works soaking in. She was breathing fast, and then she nodded. "Ben."

"What?"

"I don't want to hurt Ben. I mean, if he believes I can walk again, and then I cannot... He would be devastated. I don't want to hurt him like that."

"It won't be your fault, Linda. He knows that. Besides, you keep focusing on him. This is your life, Linda. I know that Constable Fraser loves you, and you love him, too. But you cannot act differently just because of what he will do or say. We have talked about it before."

Linda smiled sadly. "Yes. I think I should work on that a bit more."

The doctor smiled. "Well, but not now. Tell me, are you still feeling sleepy?"

"Yes, but not much. I don't want to sleep so much. I want to see what is going on. Besides, I haven't seen Ray. Is he really out of jail?"

" He is , but he is still involved in the investigation, and hasn't been around much."

"What about Ben, doctor?"

"The Inspector has called, and says he is recovering really fast. He is already in Ottawa, and after that he can come back to Chicago."

"Did she say when he would return?"

"Unfortunately, no. I can only assume that this decision is in his doctors' hands." Dr.  Lennyard examined Linda's face and smiled. "Don't worry, Linda. I am sure he will be here in no time."

Linda smiled back at her doctor, who sighed and said, "Well, now I'd better let you eat something. Visiting hours will come shortly, and I am sure the  Vecchios will arrive in large numbers as usual. Rest up, because they have been quite anxious."

"Thank you, doctor."

"You take care."

Linda smiled as he went out and sighed looking at the empty wall. She tried very hard not to think how much she missed Ben, and concentrated on the fact that he was closer to Chicago, since he was in Ottawa.


	21. Chapter 21

## Chapter 21

After lunch, Linda thought about taking up the doctor's advice and sleep for a while. But she was up for another medical visit. 

"Well, if it ain't our little Miss Adventure, back straight from the snowfields of Canada." 

Linda blushed at such embellished greeting and smiled, "Hello, Dr. Wilson." 

Smiling, the doctor sat down by her bed, and the nurse that came in with him examined her chart. "I hear you had quite an adventure up there." 

"Yes, sir, you can say I did." 

"And maybe all you needed was some sort of winter vacation, because I have to tell you: I got some pretty good news about your case. I am very excited." 

Linda agreed. "You do look very optimistic, doctor." 

"I am more than that, Linda. I talked to Dr. Lennyard, and I am sure you know we made some tests while you were recovering from that wrong medication you took. How do you feel right now?" 

The girl shrugged. "I woke up feeling great pain in my legs, but now it is better." 

"This is a very good sign, Linda." The doctor could not get his smile off his face. "The exams showed less blood-flooded in some areas in your brain than before. The charts came up clearer now from those strokes you suffered. We are now able to tell you that it was the blood in your brain that prevented the stimuli from reaching your brain." 

"Doc, what does this mean?" 

"It means that your hopes of walking again are higher than they have ever been. It may be a little while before we know for sure if you will be able to run or jump again, but I am positive that you will be walking in less time than you may think". 

Linda felt a jolt of joy ripping through her body as she heard that. She would walk again! "When will I be able to walk again?" 

"Well, Linda, I don't want to dampen your mood, but it may be a while. In terms of recovery, it is quick, but it may be sometime. We have two stages of treatment: we need to keep on cleaning your brain from the blood-flooded area, and I am sure we can do that with medication. The second part involves physical therapy. After all this time without walking, you will need to be retrained again." 

The girl was thoughtful. "So I will be using crutches?" 

"Not at this particular point. You will need to get ready for the crutches, and that is what we will be doing now. But we need to assess your sensitiveness first. Are you up to a quick examination?" 

"Sure, doctor." 

"Okay, then", He turned to the nurse, "Miss Lewis, please, I need your assistance." 

The nurse got closer to Linda's bed and took away her covers. Linda felt the difference in temperature and told Dr. Wilson. He then started some tests. 

The doctor put some pressure on her legs, and she felt it (at least in a numb away). Then Nurse Lewis covered her eyes and she was to tell the doctor what was he touching her legs with. She felt something cold (the metallic medical charter), then soft, warm (his hands), and something hard and thin (his pen). 

Nurse Lewis helped Linda sit up, then put her legs dangling in the air. Her eyes were covered again, and the doctor asked if she could feel anything. "Just the step under my foot", was the answer. The small stairs that helped patients get on the chair had been placed under her left foot. The other foot was hanging on the air. 

Dr. Wilson kept her sitting up and asked if she could move the foot still touching the step. Linda tried; she even sweated of trying it so hard. But try as she might, she could not move an inch. She was a little sad about it. Apparently, it showed, because the doctor patted her back. 

"That is to be expected, Linda. You are recovering all sensations on your legs, and that is very positive. It would be too much to ask for you to move voluntarily your foot at this point. You are doing fine. No need to feel down because you cannot move your foot." 

Linda sighed in relief. She could not wait to begin the exercises, even though she was getting tired just from the exams. "Could I lie down please?" 

"Of course." 

Nurse Lewis helped Linda get back under the covers as the doctor scribbled something on his note pad. "I am prescribing medication against ischemia and blood-clotting, and I will also want you to begin the therapy as soon as possible. I suspect you will be able to begin crutches exercises in about two weeks or 20 days." 

The words thrilled Linda. "That is good. And... do I still have to take those spinal fluid tests? 

The doctor smiled and put a hand on her shoulders. "Now this is the best news. Those are gone forever. Now that we know why you were unable to walk, there is no need for them." 

Linda thought she could cry. "Oh, doctor. You don't know what it means to me." 

"I knew you would be glad about that. Now get some rest. We will resume tomorrow, is that OK?" 

"Fine. Thank you for everything, Dr. Wilson." 

Dr Wilson smiled and said, humoredly, "Follow your doctor's order, Linda." 

He left and Linda napped a short while and a soft noise woke her up. She was surprised to discover who was there in her room. 

"Constable Turnbull?" 

The Mountie seemed to be struggling to put the chair near her, but at a respectable distance. Unfortunately, the chair brushed by the bed, and the sound was louder than he supposed, making him all jittery. When Linda pronounced his name, the poor Mountie seemed ready to absolutely faint of pure dismay. 

"Oh! Miss Linda! I am sorry, I did not mean to wake you up. Oh, my dear Queen Mum! How embarrassing!" 

"It is okay, Constable. I was not really sleeping. And I have to be up anyway, so you actually did a good thing." 

"Good. I know you need your rest. The nurse told me so." 

Linda smiled. "It is very kind of you to visit me, Constable." 

"This is not merely a social visit, Miss Linda. I am here on a mission." 

"On a mission?" 

"I just spoke to Inspector Thatcher and she ordered me to get this message to you at the first opportunity." 

"A message?" 

"Regarding Constable Fraser." 

Linda's heart raced. "Something happened to him? Is he all right?" 

"Oh, yes, yes, Miss, rest assured. The Inspector's message is precisely to assure you that his treatment is going fine, and he is expected to be considered fit to travel in just a few more days. When he is released, then he will come back to Chicago." 

"Did the Inspector tell you when that would happen?" 

"I am afraid she doesn't know that herself, Miss Linda. She just wanted to make sure you knew that. Also, she said there are some legal aspects that are still holding her back at Ottawa, but she expects to be able to come to Chicago as soon as tomorrow or the day after that." 

Linda cracked a smile. "That is great news. I appreciate your coming here so promptly, Constable. This was quite thoughtful of you." 

The young man was blushing. "I was just doing my job, Miss." 

"No, Constable, you have always been very kind to me. Ben is very grateful to you." 

Linda watched the Mountie smile melt. He dropped his head down and muttered, in the saddest voice Linda had heard. 

"No. I know he hates me. You are just too polite to tell me." 

The girl was shocked. "No, Constable, that is not true. What makes you say so?" 

Turnbull looked truly miserable. "This whole confusion. It was all _my_ fault. I got you kidnapped and whisked up to Canada, and then I made Constable Fraser and Detective Vecchio get arrested because of that." 

Linda was getting horrified, but she kept her voice calm and soft. "Turnbull, you are being too hard on yourself. It was not your fault. Why do you keep saying that?” 

"I told the men who took you away where to find you. They said they were friends and I believed it. I am too gullible and stupid." 

"Turnbull, they _were_ friends. They were just too young to know they were doing the right thing in the wrong way. You should see how they apologized to me later, when they realized what they had done. Everything turned out fine in the end. I was not harmed, and that was never their intention anyway. You did nothing wrong." 

"But Detective Vecchio and Constable Fraser got arrested." 

"That was something that went out of anyone's control, including the FBI, and I assure you, Turnbull, you had nothing to do with it. I did not know you felt so bad about it. Did you talk to Ben?" 

"Good heavens, no. I... I... could not face him." 

"Turnbull..." Linda was filled with sorrow for that young man. "You have been such a great friend for me and Ben. Don't ever think otherwise." 

"I know and I am grateful that you consider me so highly. It is a great honour. At least Constable Fraser was not... as vocal about it as Detective Vecchio." 

"Oh, God, no. Did Ray yell at you?" 

"Quite loudly, yes." 

"I am sorry, Turnbull. You know he doesn't mean what he says sometimes." 

Turnbull finally cracked a smile. "Yes. He actually apologized to me later. The Detective was very nervous when you disappeared, and everybody thought you had been kidnapped. At least, _this_ Detective Vecchio apologized nicely." 

"What do you mean by _this_ Detective Vecchio?" Linda even joked. "Is there another Detective Vecchio I don't know about?" 

The young Mountie failed to see the humor. "Why, yes. The _other_ Detective Vecchio. Of course, now we know his real name is Kowalski." 

Linda did not miss the hurt on Turnbull's face when he mentioned Kowalski. "Did he mistreat you, Constable?" 

"No. Well, not on purpose, I am sure. But sometimes he could be a little... curt. I shouldn't say that, though. I know he is a friend of Constable Fraser's." 

"Yes, Ben likes him very much. I don't know him that much, especially now that he has gone undercover, so I cannot say much about him. Although, I must confess: he scares me a little bit." 

"Don't judge him bad, Miss Linda. He was a very interesting refugee when he was seeking asylum in the Consulate." 

"He did?" 

"Oh, yes. You do know that by that time Constable Fraser lived in the Consulate premises, don't you?" 

"Yes, I do. Ben told me his apartment building was burned down. I guess that both of them lived in the Consulate, if Kowalski sought asylum." 

"Actually, Detective Kowalski's presence there was quite short-lived. Yet, it was unforgettable." 

"Why is that?" 

"Detective Kowalski seems to be a very complex, hectic kind of man. I could tell you things about his association with Constable Fraser that would probably surprise you." 

"I would like to hear that. You know how reserved Ben can be sometimes." 

A nurse came in at that moment and announced, "Sir, there is a call for you." 

Turnbull stood up. "Thank you, Ma'am. Where can I take that?" 

The woman pointed Linda's nightstand. "Right there is fine. I will have them patch it to you." 

"Thank you so much." 

She left and Turnbull addressed Linda, "I hope you don't mind... I should have consulted you, but..." 

"There is no problem, Turnbull. It might be some urgent business from the Consulate." 

The phone rang. The young Constable was up in a flash. "If you will excuse me." He picked up and answered. "Yes? Yes, Sir. Of course, Sir. Is there something wrong? No. Oh, she is fine. Actually, yes. Yes, I have her by my side right at this... Oh, certainly, Sir." 

Linda was surprised when Turnbull handed her the talking piece. "It's Inspector Thatcher, Miss Linda. She wants to talk to you in person". 

"Meg?" She clutched the piece to her ear, for she could not hear anything. "Meg, can you hear me?" 

"Yes, Linda, and I can hear you quite well. Look, I have a surprise for you. Can you hold on a minute?” 

"Sure." 

Linda waited, then a male voice appeared, "Linda?" Linda's breath caught as she recognized the voice. It sounded like a caress on her ears. "Ben?" 

"Yes, Linda, it's me." 

She was trembling and her voice was also shaky. "Benny, where are you?" 

"I am still in Ottawa. Are you OK? Turnbull could not tell us what happened. Linda, why are you in a hospital?" 

"I am fine, Ben. More than fine. My legs have been improving. I can feel some sensations, and now I will begin a new therapy." 

"Really? That is very good news. What else did the doctor say?" 

Linda was proud to say. "I will walk again, Ben." 

She heard a short gasp on the other side of the line. "Oh, Linda…! I am so very happy, my love. I can't wait to see you." 

"What do the doctors say about you? When are you coming home?" 

"I have to gain a little more strength. Yet they keep telling me I am fine. Inspector Thatcher has just told me she will be on a plane to Chicago tomorrow. She called to tell Turnbull about the details, and then found out he was with you." 

"Turnbull is very kind to visit, Ben." 

"Yes, he is. And he is a good friend, as well. By the way, did you see Ray?" 

"Not yet. He has been released, and it seems all charges have been dropped. But he was busy with some details of the case, so I was not able to see him. I miss you, Ben." 

"I miss you, too, and we will be together soon. Don't worry." 

"I love you." 

"So do I. But now I am afraid Inspector Thatcher needs to talk to Constable Turnbull and work out the details so he can pick her up tomorrow." 

"Tell her I am very grateful we could talk. I have no words to thank her enough." 

"Don't worry, I will do that." 

"Take care, Ben. Love you forever." 

"I love you, too. You take good care, too." 

"Bye." 

"Bye, my love." 

Linda handed the receiver to Turnbull. "The Inspector wants to talk to you, Constable." 

He was smiling when he picked up the phone and Linda felt some wetness on her face, something she could not place. Only then did she realized she had been crying all the time she was talking to Ben. It had been so good talking to Ben. She was glad to hear his voice, and she wished they could be together soon. She missed him so much it ached a little, but she knew they would be together soon. That was all she needed to focus on. 

She wiped her tears and turned to see the young Constable hanging up the phone. He smiled awkwardly at her. "The Inspector is arriving tomorrow. Good news, isn't it?" 

"Yes", Linda sniffled. "Best news. Ah, Constable Turnbull, I would like to thank you." 

"Thank me?" 

"I have a feeling you and the Inspector have set Ben and me up." 

He blushed. "Why would you say such a thing?" 

"It was too much of a coincidence that the Inspector would call you when you came to visit. Besides, if it is visiting hours, Ma Vecchio would not fail to be here." 

Turnbull turned into a deeper shade of red, smiled and nodded. "Ah, we thought it might... well..." 

Linda interrupted gently. "I appreciate it. From the very bottom of my heart. And Ben, too. He called you a good friend." 

Turnbull's new smile brought a new light to Linda's room. "That is, ah, good to know, Miss Linda. " 

She called him with her finger and he came closer. Linda kissed him gently in the cheek. "Thank you so much for everything." 

Linda could swear Turnbull would run a fever, because his skin was practically burgundy. He nodded. "You are, ah, very welcome. Now, if you excuse me, I have to take care of the arrangements for the Inspector's arrival." 

"Sure. Good luck on that." 

He grabbed his Stetson and nodded, while going towards the door. "Thank you kindly. All the very best, Miss." Then he exited, hurriedly and all flushed, and Linda smiled. 

Her smile was taken as a very good sign a few minutes after Turnbull left, when at least four Vecchios came inside: Ma, Frannie, Ray and Maria. 

" _Bambina!_ " 

"Hello, Ma. I am so glad to see you." 

With an endless grin, Ma emphatically put her hand on Linda's cheek. "You look good, _bambina_ , very good. I see Benton's friend had a very good surprise for you." 

Linda also blushed. "Yes, and I can bet all of you participated on it. I thank you." 

"Did you talk to Benton?" 

"Yes. He is feeling much better and he can't wait to get home." 

Frannie sat on Linda's bed. "I bet he will be thrilled to hear the news about your health. Dr. Wilson was so excited about it, Linda. He told us everything about it." 

Ray kissed Linda's forehead. "Hey, _ragazza_. I missed you on the last part of the trip." 

"I missed you, too, Ray. I am so glad you are free now." 

"All charges were dropped, as we expected it to be. Now we are dealing with that Carbonelli guy. I talked to the lieu, and this time you may have to testify. The charges are assault and conspiracy." 

"Ray, can't we cut a deal with him? I mean, he treated me well, and he has information, you know." Linda did not want to talk about the baby in front of Ma, or she might get upset. But Linda was very hopeful about seeing her child again. 

"I am working on that, Linda. I am trying to convince the FBI. But I went to see Carbonelli, and he is not talking." 

She sighed, all excitement dissipating. Ray took her hands between his and reassured. "Don't worry. We will work it out somehow. Now all you have to do is get better. I hear Benny is coming home, and he wants to see how much better you are." 

Linda smiled at him. "OK, Ray. Can you get me a glass of water?" 

Maria cut in and fetched the water. "Here, Linda. You look very good. I bet you even gained some weight." 

"That is very possible, Maria. I did not have a wheelchair to make any sort of workout, and my diet was very... unique." 

"What were they feeding you up there in the north?" 

"Whale blubber and raw seal meat." The noise ceased in the room when Linda answered, and she felt frightened at the look in everyone's faces, including Ray's. They all seemed appalled. "Did I say something wrong?" 

Frannie wanted to be sure. "What did you say they fed you?" 

"Whale blubber and raw seal meat," she repeated. "And also boiled caribou. The shaman said it is traditional food for sick people." 

"What did it taste like?" 

Linda frowned as she remembered. "Not good." Then she smiled. "I missed Ma's cooking every single day. But Ilaqali, the lady who cooked for me, was very kind. I did not want to hurt her feelings. She took care of me." 

Ma sat beside her and patted her hand fondly. "It is good to know that you were well-treated. We were worried about you." 

"Yes, Ma, they treated me very nicely. Sometimes I even think I was quite unfair to them, because I was so scared and so ill and I missed everyone so much. I cried a lot in the beginning. At least when I began to feel better, that is." 

Frannie was curious. "You were ill? You were fine down here." 

"They took me on a very long trip by truck right after that spinal fluid test, and it seemed my body reacted badly. I had a fever, and a lot of horrible nightmares." 

"Tell me more, _bambina_ ," asked Ma gently. "How they took care of you? With that strange food?" 

Linda told them of the various things that had happened in Canada, including those hours she spent alone in the snow. The women seemed enthralled with her narrative, and asked a lot of questions, curious to know what happened to Linda in those weeks she was with the native people of the North. Ray was smiling, enchanted by the innocence and tenderness of the girl. No wonder Benny loved her so much, he thought. He knew he did, too. 


	22. Chapter 22

## Chapter 22

As soon as it was possible, Linda began her new treatment destined to enhance her feelings in the legs and to reduce the blood in brain areas. Although physical therapy was heavily  emphasized at this point, Linda also took medication. According to Dr. Wilson, the downsize of her new medication was a mild tendency for her to get dizzy as if she was going to faint. Sometimes it induced sleep, too.

Dr.  Lennyard seemed very impressed with Linda's willpower. In a few days, her progress was remarkable, according to Dr. Wilson. She was willing to get Fraser a nice reception when he arrived. However, release from the hospital was not recommended. Dr. Wilson, in special, wanted to follow Linda's improvements as close as possible. Besides, with Fraser also injured, Linda would have to  rely on the  Vecchios to take care of her outside the hospital : an imposition she had made clear more than once that did not suit her. Once Fraser was back from Canada, that problem  might be solved, of course.

Inspector Thatcher, who promptly came from the neighboring country, was the one who provided information on Fraser. Too bad they were not able to speak on the phone like that one time, felt Linda. But she knew he was getting better. According to Meg, Fraser was kept on the hospital only because he had no one to take care of him outside it in Canada, but he soon became in conditions to be released. 

The RCMP in Ottawa was divided. They had the option of allowing him to get back to Chicago by issuing him a travel permit  – a medical document that certified him as still in recovery and granted him disabled privileges of embarking. But they might also study the possibility of placing Fraser to travel near a fellow Mountie who was headed  to the States. It seemed, however, few RCMP personnel were scheduled to visit the US in the next days, and Fraser was getting restless to get home as soon as possible.

Inspector Thatcher was the main source of news from Canada, but Constable Turnbull also dropped by at least once a week with some flowers. Linda made sure he did not feel guilty anymore about everything that happened.  Linda also received  a very clandestine visit from Diefenbaker. Ray brought the wolf in the middle of the night and no one could get him off her bed. He licked her intensely and she held him close, whispering how much she missed him, and telling him everything about Fraser and how he would be arriving soon.

But the  expected  day finally came. Linda hardly could sleep the night before, excited as she was, and Dr.  Lennyard even had to prescribe a mild sedative. Ray was to pick  up Fraser by the end of the afternoon and was less than thrilled at the prospect of driving at the Dan Rather Expressway and the I-90 at the peak of rush hour. The minute he expressed these feelings, he looked at Linda: the expectant look in her eyes at the imminence of Fraser's arrival was enough to make his annoyance melt away.

Francesca stroked Linda's hair with the brush for the nth time and studied the girl carefully. "Nah, I think the other way was better".

" Frannie ", chided Maria, "Don't you think she is nervous enough?"

"I am only trying to help!"

Ma smiled at Linda. "Don't worry,  _ bambina _ . You are pretty enough."

Linda inspired, unable to contain her anguish. "Does anybody have the time?"

"It's almost seven," said Tony. "But the traffic should be hell. Don't worry about it. You guys have been at least two months apart. A few more minutes won't hurt  ya ."

She had to remind herself to keep breathing. The exercises were especially recommended due to her medication. She easily fainted, and the continuous flow of oxygen was the doctor's indication to avoid her collapsing when extremely nervous or excited.

A nurse came in and made sure the family knew she was there on business. Taking Linda's vitals became part of daily routine due to the new medication. The nurse took Linda's pulse, then checked her temperature. She wrote the readings in the chart by the end of the bed. "You are not running a fever, but the heartbeat is fast. I will tell the doctor."

"I feel fine."

"Of course, but I will just report this." She looked around. "Are you guys having a reunion, or something of the sort?"

Frannie jumped in. "Linda's boyfriend is coming back today."

"Oh, that is nice." The nurse put the chart back. "And it also explains the heartbeat. I will tell the doctor."

She went out as Linda blushed by her remark, still reminding herself to breathe properly. She just couldn't wait until Ben showed up.

When the door opened, she thought it was the doctor, but Ray was the first to appear inside, a grin spreading all over his face. "Wow, Benny, everybody is here. Come in."

Fraser walked after him, Stetson in hand, bag flung across the shoulders and brown uniform framing a figure that Linda found  thin and much, much too pale. Still, her heart raced the minute she set eyes on him, as the  Vecchios noisily greeted him. As he was hugged and welcomed by Ma and her children, Linda could feel the blue eyes bearing on her anytime it was possible.

Finally, he set the bag and Stetson down, approached the bed and saw her, the sparkling green spheres adoring him. He controlled himself to bent and planted a chaste kiss on her lips. "Hello."

Linda was smiling shyly at him, trying her best not to cry. "Hi, Ben."

His eyes were beaming in a furious shade of blue. "You look good, Linda. I am glad to see you so well."

"I am glad, too, Ben. I am  so  glad you are here." She dropped her voice. "I missed you."

Fraser took her into his arms and held her tight against his body, unable to control himself anymore. "I missed you, too, my love", he whispered in her ear, inhaling the scent of her hair.

Ray was beaming of happiness as he saw his two friends embraced. Francesca broke the spell of the moment by saying, "You look good, Fraser. Linda was  kindda worried about your wound, but you look fine." 

He sat on Linda's bed, never letting go of her hand, and smiled to  Frannie . "I feel better, thank you."

Ray jumped in. "Ma, Fraser has been released from the hospital but still needs some recovery time. I was thinking he could stay at the guest room."

"Of course,  Raymondo . Benton is still weak . And he is so thin,  _ poverino _ _! _ _ " _

Fraser became embarrassed. "No, please. Uh, Ma, Ray, that was more of a recommendation than actually..."

"Nonsense", said Mrs.  Vecchio . "Benito, you are to stay with us. You need to rest and recover properly, and you can't do it alone. Besides, there is nothing to eat or drink in your apartment. Also, the poor dog is dying to meet you, so it is all settled, eh?"

Fraser smiled, and Linda could not get the grin off of her face. It was their family, taking care of them as families do. Fraser was still talking to Ma. "Thank you for taking care of Diefenbaker."

"Oh, he is family, too. And a very nice dog."

Ma would never admit Diefenbaker was a wolf.

They chatted for ten more minutes; then Ma looked around. "Now that Benton is safe and back to us, we better go. Tony, get the coats.  Raymondo , will you take Benton back home later?"

"Sure thing, Ma."

"Good. Take your time, and I will have the gnocchi ready by then."

"Please, don't bother, Mrs.  Vecchio ." 

Frannie complained. "Ma, Fraser has just arrived. We could hardly see him."

" Chesca , do as your mother says. Benton and Linda need some time by themselves."

That was enough to make both blush uncontrollably, and Ray smiled as Linda lowered her head in embarrassment. Biding farewells, Ma shooed the family dragging Ray in the process, leaving Fraser and Linda alone for the first time. As the noise died away, they faced each other, exchanging long silent stares filled with emotion.

"Ben." It was a whisper. "Please hold me."

Fraser came to sit closer to Linda and wrapped his arms around her body, enveloping her totally with kindness and love. Linda sighed in contentment, closing her eyes to feel his arms around her, thinking how much she missed this sensation of safety. She felt secure, comforted and loved. "I love you so much ", she said softly, and she was surprised to find out a tear rolling down her cheek.

What really touched Linda, though, was finding out big blue eyes filled with tears staring down at her the minute she raised her head to face Ben. He was shaking, his emotions running deeper than Linda remembered seeing. He never looked so vulnerable and frail before. "Oh, Ben..."

"I missed you so much ", he said softly, his voice at the edge of control. "I  thought I had lost you", and then his voice cracked, as a tear escaped his eye and a sob raked his body.

Linda put her hand in his face lovingly, trying to reassure him. She wanted him to know that it was all right. Fraser looked inside her eyes, and saw companionship, love and understanding. In her presence, Ben knew he did not have to be Mr. Proper Mountie, squeaky-clean and infallible. He could open up to her. To her, he did not have to be strong all the time, or right all the time, perfect all the time. She accepted him and loved him for who he really was.

"You won't lose me that easy, Benton Fraser. As long as you want me, I will be yours."

She stretched up to capture his lips with her. It was a gentle kiss, one destined to soothe the pain from such a long time apart. Ben drew her body closer to him, deepening the kiss. He gently got his tongue inside her mouth using it to probe gently the wet hidden treasures in there. Linda received his mobile tongue and lovingly rubbed her own against his, before sucking on it languidly. Their breathing patterns changed. Without ever breaking contact with each other's lips, they started to use their hands to caress each other heads and arms, touching their bodies chastely as if only to get reacquainted with their touch and smell.

Then Ben drew back and sighed. "I don't know how I managed to stay away from you for so long."

"It's been such a long time, Ben." Linda caressed his hair with the tip of her fingers. "There were times when you seemed so distant... I wonder if you were thinking of me."

"You have never left my mind." He also put the palm of his hand on her cheek and she gently turned her face to feel it a little more. "There were times I thought I could not bear it. Not without you."

Linda took his hands into hers and smiled. "Now you are here, and so  am I. It is all over and gone."

"I want to know everything, although Ray has told me so much already." Fraser seemed very excited. "I cannot  _ believe _ you have been to Canada without me."

"Me neither. I met Buck Frobisher, and he calls you Benton boy." He blushed and Linda found that so sweet. "He is  such  a nice man, and helped me a lot when I needed so much."

"He is a good man, and I knew he would help."

Linda sighed and her eyes twinkled just for him. "There is so much I want to tell you, Ben."

"In that case, please begin with your health. Ray told me you are in a therapy to use crutches." He seemed delighted. "Will you be able to quit the wheelchair?"

"Not totally at first. But Dr. Wilson prefers to envision the possibility that the crutches will only be temporary until I can walk on my own again."

The smile Ben gave her combined with the sparkle in his eyes could have lit the entire hemisphere for a few hours. Ben felt his heart threatening to explode, and he took her both hands in his and kissed them. "I am so happy."

"Me too, Ben. I can  _ feel _ my legs now. I can tell if it is warm or cold, and I can feel pain, too. I don't move them yet, but in a few weeks I may have strength enough to swing them. When I am able to do that, they will clear the crutches to me. Meanwhile that, I get to take that medication to clear the blood from my brain. It should speed up the recovery, said the doctor."

He soaked up each one of her words, enthralled by her emotion, the sparkle in her eyes, the aura of sheer happiness Linda was emanating. She looked so beautiful she glowed, and Fraser felt his chest tightening with joy. "It sounds wonderful, Linda."

She blushed and said. "There are still some things that may take a while. I still don't have bowel control, but I can feel something in there. Dr. Wilson says that is supposed to be like that. And... now I have felt something new."

Ben saw her redden face and was intrigued. "Something new?"

"Yes. Just now. At this moment."

"Really? What is it?"

"There are other things I can feel from my waist down." Linda got even redder in the face. "You know, things related to... desire."

Fraser put his fingers gently under her chin and gently lifted her face, eyeing directly into her eyes before huskily suggesting, "Then we must get into it as soon as we can."

Linda could feel her body responding to his insinuation and it shook her more than she imagined. Their eyes never stopped the contact, the unspoken language filling the room  and conveying dozens of messages. Only their breaths broke the silence in the room, and it was getting heavier. Linda looked at Fraser's perfect, straight lips, a bit swollen from their previous kissing. Without thinking, she leaned in and  –

A nd at that precise moment the door opened.

Fraser jumped back from her and up to his feet in a second, and Linda instinctively lowered her head, trying to capture her breath again. Dr.  Lennyard's voice was heard. "Ah, Constable, I heard you were back in town." He offered his hand. "Welcome back."

Taking the proffered hand, Fraser quickly recovered. "Yes, thank you, doctor."

The doctor observed him. "You look a little pale right now. Better follow your doctor's orders about your recovery."

"Ah,  er –  yes , sir. I just  arrived fro m Ottawa and I decided to uh, stop by so we could, uh, well, I mean, actually..."

Dr.  Lennyard smiled. "I am sure Linda appreciated your visit, Constable. But I need to check her vitals now. The nurse said your blood pressure is irregular." Then he eyed Fraser. "I can see why now."

There were furious blushes and goofy grins at the doctor, who snickered amusedly as he took Linda's temperature. After he monitored her pulse, he took the bottle of pills by her nightstand and told her. "You need one of those. Your heart is really accelerated, and it may interfere with the flow  of blood  to the brain. It means you can start to faint even more often than you already do. Dizziness will no longer be a problem, but keeping you awake."

Fraser felt his heart quickening. "She has been fainting?"

"It is a side effect from her new medication. She needs to control her blood pressure and heartbeat to do that, so these strong emotions can make her pass out." He took the glass of water. "Here, take the pill."

Linda obeyed, but protested. " But  I will be sleepy."

"No, you won't get sleepy. You will get  _ sleep _ , because you need it, and the Constable here also needs to rest and recover. His friend, the Detective  Vecchio , is already in the hall way, waiting for  him . I will send him in. Now rest well, Linda."

"Yes, doctor. " She sounded a little defeated.

He smiled. "Good night." And left the room.

In seconds, it was Ray's turn to stick his head inside the room, and he joked, "Everybody decent?"

"Ray", chided Linda with  humor . "Come in. Dr.  Lennyard said you were outside."

"Yeah, I thought I would give you guys a moment of privacy." He looked around and began to pick up Fraser's things. "But it is getting late. I  gotta get him at the house, or Ma will kill me."

"Will you take Ben home safely?"

"I won't let him get damaged, I promised. Now get some rest. The doc says you need it as much as he does."

"I will." Linda kissed Fraser's hand. "Come back tomorrow?"

"Sure." He kissed her forehead. "Good night."

"Love you, Benny."

"I love you more."

And they kissed.

Ray grinned. It always amazed him how could these two get through so much and end up even sweeter than before. He took Ben by the shoulders. "Let's go, lover Mountie. Ma has probably started the sauce for the gnocchi, and it will blow your brains out. Linda, Ma will probably send you some of the gnocchi, and you will love it, too."

"Of course I will. See  ya , Ray."

The cop also kissed her on the forehead. "Bye,  _ ragazza _ . Be a good girl."

Linda watched both men turn off the light and go away before sliding down under the covers, sighing in content. Ben was back. Life was perfect again.

She only hoped it could be like that for a bit longer. Little did she know.


	23. Chapter 23

## Chapter 23

There was a quiet joy in Linda over the next few weeks. She was very busy doing her exercises and physiotherapy. It also amused her that sometimes Ben would be with her, but not just to watch and support her – he, too, needed some therapy due to his wound, and they did it together.

When Linda was pronounced fit for pool therapy, she insisted that Ben should be with her. He got permission, and Ray was happy to play towel boy for them and their therapists, mindful of the Armani suit, of course. Both their therapists allowed them a few minutes of relaxing in the pool, and they got together.

Those were magical moments, and Linda almost felt in heaven. They kept on sliding through the water, their bodies weighing almost nothing, Ben's arms around her. Half-playing, half-caressing, their bodies kept in constant contact, and it was almost a reward to those tough exercises Linda was doing. After so much time apart, their bodies needed re-acquaintance and intimacy. Their love needed that, too.

But the exercises were paying off, too. It seemed Linda would be getting those crutches sooner than expected. Things never looked brighter, and all doctors agreed that the perspectives were excellent.

At first, the new medication frightened Ben a little. Linda would grow pale suddenly, and her breath would change, and he would put her in his arms gently. It was not often that she lost her senses, but if an attack happened during therapy, it would be stronger. She would get back to her senses in his arms, and then she would be all shy and apologize for causing him trouble. Ben found that endearing on the one side, yet it disturbed him somewhat. The inquisitive Mountie had searched for medical advice, and was told that it was an unavoidable side effect. He was not satisfied with the answer, but he let it go, because she seemed much better. Also, or maybe because of it, she seemed so happy and full of life that his heart melted.

They spend a lot of time together, yet they craved more intimacy. Later, they would not remember who had the original idea, but they both worked the final plan together. It turned out to be bold and daring. But they never thought about it that way.

There were other forces driving them to it...

Fraser went to the nurses' station and saw Patty on duty. With his winning smile, he said, "Good evening."

"Hello, Ben. How is our girl?"

"She is sound asleep. Isn't it time for her medicine?"

"Yes, almost. About you? Can't sleep?"

"Actually, I thought I could stretch my legs. It would give me the chance to stop by and offer to give her the next round of medication."

"Sorry, Ben. We discussed it before. Hospital rules are strict. Only personnel can administer medication to the in-patients."

"I know. It's just that... Linda is sound asleep now, and then she has to wake up to take the medicine, but after that she may not sleep again. I could let her sleep a little longer."

"I understand." The old nurse smiled in a sympathetic way. "But this is the last dose of the night. She can sleep straight till morning after that."

"All right," Fraser sighed, sounding compliant. "Well, I thought I could give it a try. Thanks anyway."

"Actually, Ben, if you wait up", she said, grabbing a tray. "I'll go with you right now."

Ben escorted the nurse to the darkened room and watched as Linda took her medicine. He smiled as Patty went out the door, nice and polite as always.

Linda sat up when she heard the door close. "Is she gone?"

Ben was still smiling, but there was an evil gleam in his smile as he nodded. "Yes." He also used the key to lock the door without turning his back on Linda.

Grinning nervously, Linda watched as he slowly grew closer to the bed. "Ben, are you sure? I mean, someone could walk in..."

"I've locked the door." He climbed up the bed and took her into his arms. "Linda, if you don't want this..."

She put her finger on his lips, silencing him. "Of course I do, Ben. I miss you."

Their lips met and the embrace deepened. As they hungrily explored their mouths, Linda could feel his heart beating fast next to her, their bodies slowly rising in temperature. Their breathing rate was also increasing.

Linda could hardly believe she had Fraser in her arms again. It seemed an eternity since they had such an intimate moment. This time, though, she could feel her blood travelling to her groin. She still had no motion in her legs, but she could feel a lot of familiar sensations from her waist down.

Ben whispered in her ear, "We have to be very quiet."

Linda gasped, as his hands began pushing up her hospital gown. She could hardly answer, "No promises."

Her fingers swiftly got busy unbuttoning his shirt, too, as he showered kisses on her neck. The shirt slid to the floor and Fraser helped Linda get out of the hospital gown. Finally, they were both bare-chested. The contact of skin against skin seemed electrical, and Linda trembled all over. Fraser pulled her closer to his body, his lips roaming over her full breasts as she gasped, trying to repress a moan of pleasure.

He gently sucked on a nipple, then came to the other as Linda panted, her hands on his dark pelt, her head thrown back in ecstasy. Her hands went to his belt, his zipper, and in minutes, he squirmed out of his tight jeans.

Ben relieved Linda of the last pieces of clothing and lay by her side, both of them naked, kissing hungrily in the large hospital bed. With a minimum of effort, Linda was on top of Fraser, kissing her way around that pale Canadian perfection of his biceps and chest. She could feel his need, hard and hot, pressing her thigh. And she could almost cry, just because she could feel it, after so long.

"Benny... I missed you so..."

Ben pulled her up and kissed her thoroughly. "I was going crazy without you..." He smiled with her lips in his. "Now I am crazy about you..."

Their mouths met again, and breathing through their noses brought a loud noise in the quiet room. Linda did not have that much mobility, but she managed to grab his manhood in her warm hands. Ben gasped, and Linda squeezed it gently through her fingers. She could feel herself getting wetter between her legs.

Linda began pumping gently his cock, generously lubed by pre-cum. It brought her immense relief that she could feel her desire building up inside her loins. The feeling was enhanced by the fact that they hadn't done it for so long. The last time they tried it she was unable to experience all the wonderful thrills that were taking over her body in that moment.

Ben moaned and bucked his hips tentatively when she took a rhythm in her pumping. Linda had to stop. Benny whimpered.

"We have to be very quiet," she warned. "Someone may hear us."

"Don't stop... please."

His voice was strangled and brought shivers to her body. While showering his neck with wet, loving kisses, Linda resumed her motion up and down his silken shaft, and felt it engorging between her fingers.

Suddenly, Ben attached his hips to hers, grabbed her using both hands on her shoulders and used his superior strength to flip them over, coming on the top of her. It was such a swift movement that Linda's yelp of surprise died in his mouth as he kissed her, and it was also so precise that she was not harmed in any way. She had to let his penis go.

Towering over her, sitting back on his haunches, Ben let his lust-filled eyes gaze all over her body. Linda felt so exposed and so open to him, and her heart was aching from both desire and love for this man. He leaned in to let his hands roam over her breasts, feeling her warm skin. She closed her eyes and threw her head back, his touch acting as a discharge in her body.

Gently, he spread her legs, and put them to rest over his. Then he lay upon her, his breath faltering as his throbbing cock felt the proximity of her humid heat. He looked up to huge green eyes expectantly fixed on him.

"Ben... Please..."

Unlike last time they have been together, now there was no doubt in Ben's heart. He guided his swollen manhood to her opening with loving gentleness and slid in. Linda held a sob inside her chest, tight with expectation to feel Ben inside her again. Ben felt her so tight, or could it be that he was too big, but the sensation was indescribable. Sheathed deep inside her, he let go a breath he did not know he was holding. So did Linda, sighing in pleasure, happiness and fulfilment.

Being able to feel all those things again was amazing to Linda. She wished she could move her hips, because somehow she knew Ben would not last long, either would she. They were both too excited, and nervous.

Such excitement was too much to Ben. Once he was inside Linda, his body reacted in full recognition to the woman who had won his heart. He tried hard to keep his control so he would not hurt her with his thrusts. But Linda's soft moans, escaping her lips against her will, spun him to another dimension.

Linda held to Ben tightly, not only because he was riding her like a madman but also in an attempt to prevent her from crying loud enough to wake the whole ward in the middle of the night. She was making a physical effort to contain her wailing.

So much, so soon. Ben felt the pressure building inside his loins and held his breath trying to prolong their pleasure. Linda could not do such things. There was much about her body she still had no control, so she bit her lip hard when she came, arching her body as she could. Her tremors and the muffled cries she managed to swallow sent Fraser fumbling over the edge. With a loud grunt and a final long thrust, he let his seed inside her, and that hurled her to a second orgasm. Ben let his body go limp over hers, and she embraced his hot sweaty body with love and tenderness.

Trying to recover her breath, Linda discovered she was having a hard time doing so because she was quite happy. She felt Ben's cheek near her heart and suppressed a happy sob, running her both hands in his silky hair. Tears escaped her closed eyelids.

Ben raised his head and saw Linda crying. He used his fingertips to gently wipe her tears, startling her. Huge green eyes stared at his, and she smiled, still unable to contain her tears.

"I am so happy..."

He smiled, too, in a tender fashion that melted her heart. "I am very happy, too. I missed you, too, Linda."

Her eyes shone. "Oh, Ben, please, hold me."

Together they stayed for long minutes, lost in each other's arms. Linda wished they were home, so they could spend the whole night like this. She knew, however, that they were pressing their luck. It was just a matter of time until some nurse came inside the room.

It seemed Ben was having the same thoughts. "I wish we could be like this the whole night long. But someone may come in at any moment..."

Linda shrugged. "The nurses have seen us holding each other before."

"Not naked, though." Ben reminded, and Linda suppressed a giggle imagining the scene. "You think that's funny?"

"It would surely be, Ben. I would feel so embarrassed. And so would you. You'd get all red and then you'd stammer a lot."

"You are right. That is why," he sat up kissing her arm, "we must not fall asleep now." He jumped out of bed and Linda whimpered. He went in the bathroom and took a washcloth. Linda shook her head.

"We should change the sheets first."

"Good idea."

He put down the washcloth, moved Linda to his own bed, changed the sheets on her bed and then put Linda back. He half kissed, half-cleaned her body, as she kissed his.

When Linda was clean, Benny took her in his arms and said, "We really should get some rest."

"I guess you are right." She sighed. "But can you stay with me? I mean, in this bed?"

"Of course. I just want to get you dressed first."

Ben helped Linda get dressed, then settled her in his arms as they got ready to sleep. Linda's heart was soaring high. She couldn't wait until they could be once more together in their apartment.

*** * ***

After two weeks of medical leave and many protests from a fiercely protective Ma Vecchio, Benton Fraser took Diefenbaker and they returned to their apartment, making Mrs. Mutchnik practically squeal in delight. The Vecchio clan had already helped, cleaning the abandoned apartment, so all they needed to do was plug the phone back, clean both dog dishes and take the dress uniforms to the cleaners. It was a chance for Dief to get a good walk, too.

Ray had insisted on Benny staying at the house so he could avoid feeling alone, because Linda was still at the hospital. Dr. Lennyard seemed adamant in not letting her go until she could move around in the crutches. Her first try would be next week, when Ben returned to work.

That was the only thing Ben did not look forward. Work. It would steal time away from Linda and that, in Ben's opinion, had been done too much in the last few months for his liking. He knew that, if he requested more medical leave time, inspector Thatcher would not deny it and he could be with Linda, but he would not feel good about it. The first few days away from her would be difficult, he knew it, but he would handle it. Missing Linda caused him more pain than that bullet. But there was something his keen eye was not amiss.

Discreet as always, Ben saw his Italian friend growing silent. Ray was getting gloomy. Of course, he hardly showed it in the visits to Linda, but at the house, he hardly ever spoke, and then he said he did not want to worry Benny with his work, because Benny was on medical leave and needed to recover. The Canadian frowned at that, but decided not to pursue the issue because he knew Ray would get upset. Ben knew one of Ray's cases involved Mr. Carbonelli, and it was not going anywhere. Maybe that was the reason for his friend's irritation.

"Hey, Benny."

"Hello, Ray." Ben's voice had a tone of amusement.

"What? Can't I visit a friend?"

"You sure can, Ray. Come in. I just find it odd that you stopped by, considering we've seen each other at the hospital a few hours ago."

Ray went inside, carrying a small box. "Ma wanted you to have a nice dinner. She knows your kitchen is empty."

"That was very kind of her, Ray." Ben retrieved the container as Ray sat on the kitchen table. "Tell her I am grateful."

"Er... Benny, can we talk for a sec?"

Ben knew it would not take only a second. "Of course, Ray." He put the kettle to boil water and sat by his friend. "What do you want to talk about?"

"I gotta apologize to you, Benny." Ray seemed so sad and he looked at his hands on the table, twisting nervously. "I failed you and Linda, and now I am trying to make it up to you."

"Ray, what are you talking about?"

The cop sighed loudly and just uttered, "Your child. Your baby. Yours and Linda's. I lost it."

The impact was so strong, that for a few minutes Ben did not register it. That was what happened when the Staff Sergeant told him his father had been shot, that was what happened when he was arrested for Linda's murder and did not know for sure if she was alive. Now Ray was telling him about his baby.

Fortunately, Ray saved him the obvious question. "Carbonelli spilled the beans and he did not even ask for a deal for that one. He said he liked Linda and was pissed because that psycho bitch stole Linda's kid, so he'd give the information for free. And he did it."

Ray sighed again as Benny digested his words. There was painful silence for a few minutes, until the kettle whistled and Benny moved mechanically to prepare the tea. Ray watched him carefully. "Benny, I don't know how you feel about it. You never said anything, so I am asking."

The tea was in the pot. Benny looked at the wall and answered in a neutral voice, "OK."

"OK what?"

"Ask what you want, Ray."

"I just... I want to know how you feel about it, Benny."

There was a perfect Mountie mask in Benny's face. But Ray knew better than to get fooled and saw the way Benny's hands were trembling, and that he was looking at the table again. "I... am just surprised, Ray." His voice was different. "A little... confused, I guess."

"I ask because it's up to you how we handle this, Benny. You call the shots on this one."

"Why do you say that, Ray?"

"Because we have to know how to tell Linda about it."

Now it was Benny's turn to sigh. He looked at his lap, and remembered all the times that Linda mentioned the subject. She was beyond control and went hysterical at the mere mention of the baby. The whole episode had left her traumatized, and the scars were not even there yet – the wound would not heal.

"Why didn't you tell me about it before?"

"You were still recovering from a gun wound. At that time, it seemed easy to get the kid. But then – well, things got complex. We may be headed to another complicated lawsuit, Benny. It might take years, and these family disputes are always so painful. I just want to know where you stand on this."

Carefully, Benny sat back down and poured tea. Finally, he looked up at Ray, his blue eyes gleaming in the small kitchen as he asked. "Tell me the situation."

This time Ray felt a little relieved. All this tension in the last weeks was taking its toll on the Chicagoan. He took a sip from his cup, and made a face when he realized it was tea. But it was warm and good, and he needed that.

Ray's tale began with a name and a city. All Carbonelli knew about the baby was that it had been sold to a couple who lived in Green Bay, Wisconsin. Their name was Killshaw: Judith e Alan Killshaw.

Following standard procedures, Ray ran a sheet on them, and realized he had stumbled across good law-abiding citizens. He was a rich man who inherited a very considerable family agribusiness and she had a fancy clothes shop in an elegant mall downtown. Also following standard procedures, Ray asked GB Police to help in a warrant.

Then the whole family had disappeared. It had happened when Ray took a weekend off to go to Wisconsin and told everyone he was on a stakeout near Cicero. When he arrived there, and the PD arranged for the warrant, the house (or manor) was empty. Friends and employees knew only they suddenly had taken a vacation somewhere down south. That was all they knew: the family had gone south.

Further investigation only increased hints that the Killshaws had been tipped about police involvement. The servants confirmed Victoria had been a frequent visitor. She was identified as a social assistant who helped the Killshaw couple to adopt the baby, Robert. They hadn't seen her in months, though.

Fraser cringed when he heard the name of the child. It was his father's.

"Now we are tracking them. Southward they did not go, because their beach house in Coral Gables, Florida, is empty. They did not leave the country, either, because we got that covered. We are trying to get an APB for all three of them."

"Why would they leave? What reasons do they have to get away?"

"Fraser, put yourself in their place. They most certainly know that this kid is not legal, or at least that that social worker was not kosher. Leaving suddenly before the police arrived is almost admission of that. They had the kid to lose, not to mention the scandal. I can even understand."

Fraser sighed, and realized he was tired. Ray drained his cup of tea and shrugged. "So, it's a case. I mean, not quite a case. Look, Fraser, what I want you to see is that this case is complicated, and we still need some serious tracking to do. They're on the run, but they have the kid. It'd take a long time and much suffering to bring this kid back – if you want it."

"That is what you are really asking me, right, Ray?" Fraser gave him a sad smile. "You are asking me if I want to fight for my son."

"Don't get me wrong, Benny. I feel bad enough to know that I had them and they slipped through my fingers, but I'm also thinking about Linda. You know that she flips every time the kid is mentioned. I mean, you should have seen the look in her eyes when she told me Carbonelli knew about the child. Benny, she looked so alive, and she was glowing, and she –"

"Ray. Ray. Ray. Ray". Fraser put his hand over Ray's slender ones. "It is all right, Ray. We can do it. And we will."

"I'm telling you, Benny, it's your call. Or you can also tell that doctor of hers about it. He might give us a light on how to handle it."

Fraser frowned at that. He and Dr. Lennyard had long-term problems, mostly regarding Linda's well-being. The weirdest part is that both were worried about her.

Ray conceded. "I know you don't like him too much, but you gotta agree that talking to him is the best thing to do for Linda."

The Mountie let his head drop, then rubbed his eyes. "I suppose you are right in more ways than one. After all, not only is he her psychiatrist, but also her legal guardian."

"Yes, that he is. Like I said, Benny: it's for her own good. Did she tell you about it? Has she asked you about it?"

"She used to mention it more often when I first arrived from Canada. After you told her that Carbonelli wouldn't disclose the information, then she rarely spoke about it. She knows I was on medical leave and that I was not working in the case."

"I have not told her any of this. I didn't want to raise her expectations, but I hate to make her feel as if I don't even care, you know?"

Fraser nodded. "I understand, Ray. I also appreciate what you are doing. I am sure Linda does, too."

The Italian shrugged. "That's what friends are for, Benny. Besides, do you see the way Linda looks every time she mentions the kid? It means so much to her. I'd hate to see what a long lawsuit would do to her. She's already suffered so much, Benny."

"I know. It is like an open wound." Ben sounded regretful. "One of many."

Ray put a hand on his friend's shoulder. "We will get over all of them, Benny. I'm sure all of us will."

Ben smiled, feeling his chest warming up at such wonderful friend. "Thank you, Ray."

"No problem, pal." Ray rose. "Look, I gotta run now. Do you want to go with me tomorrow check on some of the Killshaw's friends?"

"Sure. I have the morning shift tomorrow."

"Good. We can make interviews at night, so you don't miss visiting hours at the hospital. Take care."

"Good night, Ray."


	24. Chapter 24

## Chapter 24

Linda's first contact with the crutches took longer than expected. The therapists and Dr. Wilson agreed that first she must stand by herself in at least one leg. It implied many more exercises outside the pool. She tired herself easily, but she never hesitated. Anyone could see that Linda was highly motivated.

Dr. Wilson even said she might be overdoing it. Her muscles needed time to shape up, and Linda was speeding up too much. Dr. Lennyard found that suspicious.

"You look very happy, Linda."

"Things look great, doctor," she was smiling. "Dr. Wilson says I might get to the crutches in no time."

"It is good to see you so motivated. How do you feel?"

"I will be able to walk again, doctor. I need to."

"Need to? Why?"

"Everything depends on it. Things will only get going once I start walking. That’s why I gotta do it as soon as I can."

"What kind of things will get going, Linda?"

"The future. Everything."

"Can't you be more specific? I can't see what you mean when say "the future".

"I mean all other things." She counted on her fingers as she enumerated the items. "When I start walking again, then I will be able to get a job, I can have my baby back, I can marry Ben – and this is just to mention the big things. In the little things, I will be able to walk Dief again, or cook, and take care of myself."

"Linda, many things you mentioned does not require the ability to walk. You and Constable Fraser can get married regardless of your paralysis."

"I know. But I want to do it on my own feet."

"You can also have your baby back without having to walk."

"But the child is already walking. How can I run after the little one in a wheelchair or on a pair of crutches?"

"Other mothers do it, Linda. You can learn from them."

"But I want to walk."

"And it is fine that you want it. I am just alerting you to do it for the right reasons".

"I think my baby is a good reason."

"Don’t get me wrong. Surely it is. It is a beautiful reason. But it can't be the only reason."

Linda smiled dreamily. "I can't wait till I have my baby in my arms. I have been dreaming about it."

"Really? Want to tell me about it?"

"No. It's nothing specific about it. I just have these dreams of playing with the baby, changing his diapers, feeding it. I know that it is older than what I picture in my dreams, but I feel so good having it in my arms. Benny looks so proud, too."

"It sure is a beautiful picture, Linda. But having a baby is a great responsibility. Are you sure you are up to it?"

She admitted. "Sometimes I think about it and I get scared. But Ben will be with me, and we can work it out together. Ma will be glad to help, too, I know she will. But it means so much to me to take care of my child."

"I need to ask you this, Linda. What if this beautiful picture of yours never comes true?"

"What do you mean?"

"Linda, what if you cannot retrieve your baby?"

"How come?"

"What happens if for some reason you cannot have your baby back as you plan?"

Linda was surprised. "No, it won't happen". She though he might be joking. "No, Mr. Carbonelli knows where my baby is, and he promised me..."

"Linda, the man is a mobster. People like him have reputation on not keeping promises, he has no special reason to keep the one he made you."

"But he was very upset when he heard what happened to me. Why wouldn't he keep his promise?"

"Detective Vecchio has explained to you that he has not been able to struck a deal that would enable Carbonelli to give the information."

"Ray will do it." Linda seemed near breaking point. "Ray will do the best he can."

"I am sure he will. All I am saying is that maybe you should open yourself to the possibility that retrieving your baby may not be easy or possible."

By the look in Linda's eyes, that was clearly a possibility she had not envisioned. She merely shut up and looked down. The doctor sighed.

"I am not saying anything, Linda. I just don't want you to have an impact in case everything fails. OK?"

She stared at her lap, wordlessly. Tears started to flow in her silence, and Dr. Lennyard sighed. He knew he had struck a deep wound.

*** * ***

It did not take long till the Killshaws were found. Actually, they were not hiding. Their names were picked up in a hotel downtown Pittsburgh. Ray immediately alerted the local police department to set up a surveillance team on them. They were not to approach, just to tag them night and day until the bureaucracy and Welsh could free him to get there.

"Canadian Consulate, Constable Fraser speaking."

"Benny?"

"Hello, Ray."

"How long will it take you to pack?"

A Canadian heart missed a beat. "You found them?"

"All three of them. We gotta take a short trip."

"I will let you know."

**_* * *_ **

"Hi, Ben."

"Hello, Linda. Are you OK?"

"I am fine, Ben. I am waiting for you so we can go to the pool together today."

"I am sorry, Linda, I won't be able to make it today. Ray has asked me to help on a case. We will be out all night. Do you mind?"

"Of course not, Ben. I am glad you will be with Ray for a while. You guys haven't had hardly any time together lately."

Linda thought she heard Fraser gasp. His voice was sure different when he said. "I will be in touch, then."

"OK. Love you forever, Ben."

"I love you, too."

Fraser hung up. Besides the click of the phone, he could almost hear the sound of his heart breaking as he lied to the woman he loved.

**_* * *_ **

More heartbreak was on Benton Fraser's way by the time he arrived in Pittsburgh later that night. The uniforms that had tagged on the Killshaws not only had the warrant issued, but they also reported they had no trouble at all: the couple did not leave the premises of the city's world-famous Children's Hospital.

That sent both Fraser and Ray at top speed to the hospital. When they asked for the Killshaws, they were told they were Dr. Minardi's patients.

"Are you Minardi?", Ray asked an elder gentleman in hospital garbs.

"Yes?"

The badge was flashed and he asked, "We are looking for Judith and Alan Killshaw."

"Sir, if you are not friend or family, I would advise to try to get a hold of them later. It was such a terrible timing."

"What happened?"

"I am afraid their son did not make it. He has just died a short while ago."

It was strange hearing that, thought Fraser. He did not even know the child, never laid his eyes upon the kid, but the doctor's words send a wave of pain, and the Mountie staggered with force of the impact. Ray had to steady him. "Benny?"

The physician saw the man in dark hair blanch and asked, "Are you friends or family?"

Ray answered with difficulty. "He is... family."

"Come this way."

Both men followed the doctor, and Fraser silently dismissed Ray's help. The Italian was aghast. Of course it had occurred to Ray that the stoic Mountie would have feelings for his child, but that his legendary Fraser control would fail like it did was surprising to the cop.

The doctor took them to the hospital ecumenical chapel, a happy and illuminated place where all images were made of children, and infantile angels abound. There he gestured to a couple hunched in one of the seats, obviously in great distress.

Without a word, Dr. Minardi backed away, and Ray and Fraser approached the couple wearily. Ray could think of a dozen places that he'd rather be that moment. But he had to do it.

"Mr. Killshaw?"

The man was in his late fourties, the woman was in her late thirties. They were young, attractive and obviously wealthy, and yet they now looked very old. "Yes?", said the man, wiping his tears, never letting go of his wife.

"Mr. Killshaw, I am Ray Vecchio and this is Benton Fraser."

Alan Killshaw focused his eyes on both, and he seemed to pay particular attention to Fraser. "Do I know you? You look familiar."

Fraser seemed unable to articulate a word, so Ray took the initiative once more. "No, Mr, Killshaw you don't know us. We came a long way to talk to you."

"Please, sir", the man was ready to fall into pieces. "Can't this wait? We are grieving the loss of our child!"

Finally, Fraser moved, tears in his furiously blue eyes, as he hissed, "Excuse me, but I believe you are grieving the loss of _my_ child."

Astonished, Killshaw rose his head to look in his eyes. Then he realized why Fraser's face was so familiar to him. The young man grew paler and gasped. "Oh, dear Lord." He turned to his wife. "Jude, look at him."

The woman obeyed and, much more rapidly than her husband, she whispered, in awe, as her hand went to her mouth. "Oh, God! He looks like Bobby."

Fraser nodded, "I have reasons to believe I am Robert's father."

There was a silence as all those words sunk in. Ray asked, "Is there a place we can talk about it?"

Suddenly, Judith asked in tears and rage, "What do you want from us? The child is gone! Don't you know we have nothing left? We lost everything!"

The woman could not say anything else, deep grief in her, and she burst into tears. The husband consoled her, then asked, still clutching to the crying woman, "Please, gentleman. Could we have a moment of privacy?"

"Of course", Ray took Ben by the arm. "Let's go, Benny."

They got out of the chapel, and stood outside the entrance, by the hall. Fraser felt Ray's hand on his shoulder all the time.

"Are you OK, Benny?"

"Yes, I– " Fraser was pale and shaky. "I guess – I –"

He closed his eyes and leaned against the wall, with a big sigh, unable to speak. Long Italian arms enveloped him suddenly. It was such a comforting embrace that Fraser did not resist. After a few minutes, they parted.

"I am sorry, Benny," said Ray, and he sounded as devastated as he looked. "I never had a child, but I feel the loss of your kid as if it were mine. Believe me."

Fraser fought back the tears. "Thank you, Ray." He cleaned his throat, then said. "I guess we better concentrate on the case. It is... the best venue of action."

Ray patted him on the back. "Yes, buddy. Whatever you say. I am here for you."

They exchanged glances of quiet gratitude and reassurance, a trait they have always shared: a telepathy typical of great friendships. There was no need to speak aloud what they knew inside.

Dr. Minardi approached them in the hall. "I am sorry about your loss."

Fraser took the initiative. "Can you tell us what happened?"

"We did everything we could. The boy had a serious heart condition we knew nothing about. I mean, his little heart simply was not strong enough. Too bad his condition had never shown any symptoms before. There might be ways to treat it. But we found out too late."

"How long was he here?"

"We fought the disease for at least two months. In the end, it was quite hard. We did everything we could. But the cause was a genetic malformation, probably drug induced."

"Drug induced?"

"Yes. Robert was an adopted child. We had information that the biological mother took a lot of drugs during the pregnancy. But it is only a theory."

Ray felt a pang in his chest, and Fraser just stared at the doctor, getting even paler. The doctor never noticed it, and went on, "I really wish we could have done more. They are just devastated. This child meant the world to them."

Quietly, Fraser tried to be polite. "I am sure you did your best, doctor, and I am really grateful for that."

There was an awkward silence. "So you two also came from Wisconsin?"

Ray answered. "Chicago. We drove here."

"Long haul. Well, I have other patients to see now. You can make yourselves at home and don't hesitate to look for me if you have any more questions."

"We might have to do that in an official capacity, sir," Ray made it clear. "Would you be willing to make a statement?"

"Of course. I just don't know why should it become a police matter."

"This kid was stolen from his real mother a while back. She was trafficked and forced to take those drugs."

"Oh, no," The doctor's black eyes widened. "I understand. Well, I don't know what I can do to help, but I can make a statement, yes."

"We appreciate it, sir."

Dr. Minardi was gone when the Killshaws stepped out of the chapel, hanging on to each other. Both looked shattered. Alan Killshaw went straight to them. "Please, can't we do this later?"

"I am sorry, sir, this can't wait. We came a long way to see you."

"A long way?"

"We are from Chicago," Ray put his business card in the man's hand. "I am Detective Ray Vecchio, Chicago PD. This is Constable Fraser, from the Canadian Mounted Police. I believe we have much to discuss, and it would be best if we did it now."

The man was obviously puzzled by the two men, and then he sighed and turned to his wife. "Honey, we better do this."

The woman, with red puffed eyes, just nodded, and Alan guided them. "We better go to the cafeteria."

*** * ***

"Maybe I should apologize for the way I treated you both before. I trust you will understand the circumstances." Alan Killshaw looked at the Styrofoam cup in front of him and sighed, his hand clutched on his wife's arm. "This is so hard."

"I understand", said Fraser. "Believe me, it is hard for us, too."

The young man looked at the Canadian, with a mix of emotions. He almost smiled ruefully. "God, you really look like him."

"Yes", agreed Judith, in a cracked voice. "It's like seeing Bobby becomes a man..." She was struggling not to start crying again, so she avoided looking at Fraser.

Before things turned too emotional and someone ended doing something regretful, Ray said, "I think the best we can do here is to gather facts. We are here on a case, and we have been trying to locate this child for a long time."

"Why? What do you want?"

"A crime has been committed, Mr. Killshaw. This child was produced and kidnapped from her real mother."

That sent the couple in shock. "Produced? K-kidnapped?"

"Oh, Alan."

Ray exchanged glances with Fraser. It was obvious that the Killshaws were not aware of everything that transpired. Alan made a nervous gesture, "Are you sure? I only ask because we adopted this baby legally. The whole process was made through a social worker from Child Services." It was easy to see that he was trying hard not to get into panic.

Fraser stated, "The mother was raped, then she was taken away throughout the pregnancy period, and after that the baby was snatched from her."

Judith was scandalized. "Oh, my God. Is she your wife?"

"Not exactly, but we have a stable relationship."

"We did not know that. Oh, geez", Alan was feeling nauseous.

Ray produced a photograph from his jacket. "Do you recognize this woman?"

Alan took the picture in his hands and showed it to his startled wife. "Yes, that is Mrs. Baylor. She is the woman from Child Services who handled Bobby's process."

It was a picture of Victoria.

"What did she tell you?"

"She said she knew a baby who could fit us well. Said the mother was a drug addict and the father had walked away on her, so she did not want the kid. But to let the kid go, the mother wanted an indemnity, according to her."

Fraser had his hands balled in fists and his knuckles were white at the sheer effort of controlling his emotions. Ray himself was flushed with rage, and tried to explain to the open-eyed Killshaws. "That woman is wanted for murder and robbery in two countries. She was the one responsible for everything: the kidnapping, the drugs... Probably the rape, too."

Judith gasped, and Alan was right at the point of a nervous breakdown. "The doctor said that the drugs his mother took could explain the bad formation of his condition."

"Well, that was this woman's fault, too. She is a bank robber and a murderer, and she also has proven to be capable of doing anything for money. Benny arrested her once. In Canada, that is. She is wanted there, too."

Alan frowned. "Is that true? You are a real Mountie?"

"Yes, I am. So was Robert's grandfather. His name was also Robert."

There was a quiet silence in the table of the hospital cafeteria. Alan lowered his voice. "Please, detective, you have to believe me. We did not know anything of that. We took that woman for real, and we trusted her. This is such a surprise."

Ray asked, "Have you seen her lately?"

"No. She visited us for a while after Bobby arrived. We thought it was nice that she kept on checking on us. Come to think of it, she usually asked if strangers were around the house. She said the Bobby's mother was into drugs, so she might be in trouble with drug dealers. Then she said that she was going to be transferred. We tried to contact her the first time the illness attacked Bobby, but we always reached a wrong number. The last time we saw her was about a year ago, I guess. Bobby was barely walking yet."

"So you really thought everything was legit?"

"I swear to you", said Alan. "I never even suspected.” Fraser believed he was telling the truth.

Ray instructed, "Your best choice to avoid the possible charges is to work with the police to find this woman."

"Of course," Alan agreed eagerly. "Anything."

"Good", said Ray, trying to sound serious, but not menacing. "You have my card with my numbers from Chicago. I will try to make you give your statements without leaving Wisconsin. This is a federal case, and the woman in question is wanted by both the FBI and the RCMP, so there is a chance you will be able to give your depositions to the Feds. I am afraid we need to hear you both."

Alan looked at his wife, and she nodded wearily. Ray said, "I am sorry for these circumstances. But now I think you know who is really to blame for everything."

A few tears escaped Judith's eyes. "Thanks, detective." She looked up Fraser, and it was obviously painful for her. "Please, sir... Mr... I forgot your name."

"Fraser, Ma'am. Constable Benton Fraser."

"You know Bobby's mother?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Tell me sincerely: did she ever want her son?"

Fraser felt his throat tightening, and then took a deep breath before he had a voice to speak. "Mrs. Killshaw, her name is Linda. I can personally attest her distress regarding this subject. She was hoping to obtain custody of the child, and the news of his death will surely devastate her."

The woman studied Fraser carefully. She seemed satisfied with what she saw and said, "I am sorry for her, too."

Fraser schooled his emotions and replied, "Thank you."

Ray said, "Look, I know it is late, and you both are exhausted, but I insist on your going to give your depositions as soon as possible."

Alan reassured, "We will, detective.”

"As distressful as it seems, a post-mortem exam performed by a coroner would also come in handy. This will add up in the charges against that woman. She may be held responsible for the child's death, too."

This time Alan merely had the strength to nod, and silently urged his wife to rise from the table. Fraser stopped them. "Please, Mr. Killshaw, if I may be so bold..."

"Yes, Constable?"

Fraser seemed stricken and embarrassed. "I wanted to ask you a favor. It is personal, and you have every right to refuse it."

"I understand. What is it?"

The Canadian's voice failed and his eyes shone with unshed tears. "Do you have a... photograph of the child? I would like to see it."

It was Judith's eyes that filled with tears before she galvanized into action and searched inside her very elegant and expensive purse. "Of course."

She produced a leather wallet and from there came a small picture. Fraser took it in shaky hands, Ray craned his neck to watch it, too.

No doubt the kid was a Fraser. There was a dark pelt, the winning smile in round, soft childish features. Huge blue eyes staring at the camera held all Linda's expression. Fraser felt his heart almost stopping at the sight. He swallowed dryly and handed it back to Mrs. Killshaw. "Thank you kindly." His voice was subdued.

She shook her head. "No. You keep it, Mr. Fraser."

His hands shook even more, and his voice was reduced. "I... I am very grateful, Ma’am."

Alan Killshaw put his arm on his wife's shoulders and nodded to the two cops, then both walked out of the cafeteria without another word. For a while, Fraser stared at the picture, trying to handle his emotions. Ray put a hand on his shoulder and whispered, "Let's go, Benny."

Mechanically, Fraser nodded and let himself be led out. He found it difficult to focus while Ray made arrangements with the Pittsburgh local police and called the FBI for an update on the case. It was hard for him to identify his feelings.

Ray watched his Canadian friend with both weariness and grief. The cop had seen him go through some very difficult situation. He knew Fraser was not the hero some people imagined. He knew Fraser had flaws and weaknesses like any human being. Few times, though, had Ray seen the Mountie so open and vulnerable.

However, Fraser was not a man who was easily helped, either. Ray figured the best way he could help his friend was to provide him with information and facts, as many as he could, so they could find Victoria and make her pay for every hell she created. Ray was sick and tired of finding bad things happening to Linda and seeing that each and every one of them had Victoria's signature.

The cop had never thought it possible, but for the first time in life he was totally scared. Scared that he might actually be capable of murdering someone and feel good about it.


	25. Chapter 25

## Chapter 25

Linda woke up in excruciating pain. As the new medicine cleared her brain from all flooded areas and she was able to control her movements, her muscles complained the activity. Her legs could send her hissing for hours. A nurse stopped by and noticed the girl's discomfort. She never complained, so it was up to the medical staff to realize if she was in pain and give her painkillers.

After a whole morning of exercise, Linda was ravenous by lunchtime. Dr. Wilson checked her signs and her mood. She was very motivated, and very optimistic about the treatment. The doctor informed her that in a few days, she would be getting crutches, and she was very anxious about it. Linda knew that this was one of the last steps before she could be back to her apartment again. Dr. Wilson recommended rest in the afternoon, after such strain on her legs. Once more the doctor alerted Linda she could be overdoing it, and it was not good for her recovery.

Ma Vecchio came in at the first of the visiting hours. Linda's smile lit the whole room. "Hi, Ma."

" _Bambina_." She kissed Linda soundly in the cheeks and smiled. "You look very good today."

"I had a good day at therapy room. I made my best walk on parallel bars".

"Parallel bars? Isn't that for Olympics athletes?"

Linda laughed softly. "And for crippled people, too." She used her arms to drag her useless legs out of the bed. "I know you don't like it when I use the word."

"Because it is a wrong word", scolded the matriarch. "You will walk again, the doctor said so."

"I know I will. I just wished I could have my crutches. Then I could go home, walk Dief a while."

"You miss the dog, don't you, _bambina?"_

"Of course I miss him. He is family, too."

"And a fine family he makes. You know, he sniffs all over me every time I get back in the house. He recognizes your scent, and he knows every time I come to visit."

"Isn't he lovely? Oh, I miss him very much."

"Don't worry. You will be home soon."

"Yes, I will." Linda asked, "Ma, did you hear from Ben?"

"No, I guess he is still working. Raymondo has called, and said the work took longer than they expected."

Linda pouted a little. "But it is Saturday. I was hoping Ben could spend the day with me."

"I am sure he would have come if he could, _bambina."_

"No, Ma, I don't mind. If he is with Ray, I am glad. They need some time together, too."

"They are such good friends", said Mrs. Vecchio. "I am glad they are so close. Lately, they have been working together again. It's been some time since they last did it. Raymondo is very focused on his work, and Benton is always there to help him."

Linda smiled. "It is so good, Ma. It seems our life will get on its tracks at last, and all the nightmares will be over."

Mrs. Vecchio took Linda's hand and patted it. "See, _cara?_ There is always sunshine after the storm, they say. You deserve to be happy."

The girl was beaming. Then she frowned. "Ma, could you please call a nurse? I think I have to go to the bathroom."

Ma Vecchio called the nurse and left the room, so the two women could have more space to their activities. The old Italian woman could not help to feel satisfied. Not often did Linda feel this good.

She spotted her son and his best friend coming up the hall and smiled. Linda would be very happy to see both of them there. Then Mrs.Vecchio picked up their faces and the way they were walking. Even before she realized they looked tired and sad, she knew something was wrong. A mother's heart just senses things like that. She rushed to their side.

"Benito, Raymondo, what is wrong?"

Ray hugged her hard, and she sensed all the tension in her son. He did not utter a word, and swallowed a sob instead.

"Santa Maria, _figlio_. Don't frighten your mother like that."

"Ma, is Linda in there?"

"Yes, the nurse is helping her right now. What happened, Raymond? Don't try to change the subject."

Ray looked at Benny, who looked awful, but said. "I better talk to her alone."

"OK, Benny." Ray gently led his mother. "Come with me, Ma. Let's sit down somewhere."

Mrs. Vecchio looked at Fraser and asked, "And you, _caro_? Will you be OK?"

"Yes, Mrs. Vecchio, thank you. I have to see Linda."

Ray said, "I better warn the doctor."

"Yes, please, you do that."

The Canadian watched Ray take his mother down the hallway. The nurse left the room in that moment and smiled in pleasure to see her. "Good afternoon, Constable. Linda will be glad to see you."

He did not return her smile. "Thank you, Patty. Could you fetch me Dr. Lennyard, please? I think we will need him pretty soon."

The nurse seemed puzzled, but agreed. Fraser sighed and opened the door. Linda was sitting at the edge of the bed and split her face in a very big grin when saw Fraser.

"Ben, it is a surprise. I thought you were with Ray."

"Yes, I was. But I came as soon as I could. Linda, I have news." He closed the door. "We need to talk."

Linda could feel the sunny day turning into a heavy cast sky inside her room. Her heart clenched with dread. "Ben, what is it?"

He sat by her side and took her hand. "It is about the investigation Ray and I were conducting."

"Where is he? Is Ray all right?"

"Yes, Linda, Ray is fine. We were trying to find the couple who had our baby. Ray and I have been out of town the last few days trying to find them."

Fraser felt her hand tighten between his. She stared at her lap, in silence. "Ben... did you find them?"

He nodded, the saddest way possible, then lowered his voice respectfully. "We found them in a children’s hospital, Linda. The child was ill. I am sorry, my love, but our son is dead."

Linda did not move.

"I am sorry, Linda." Fraser tried to look at her face, but she kept her head down, and did not move. "Linda, please. Did you hear what I have just said?"

There was the slightest nod. Fraser gathered her in his arms, feeling her body shaking lightly. Neither of them uttered a word. The silence was so oppressive that for a moment Fraser imagined he could hear her heart breaking apart, and all her dreams shattering. He thought his chest had never been tighter, and the pain would swallow him whole. Tears fell freely from his cheeks, and a sob or two wrecked his whole body.

Linda was still shaking, and her breath was irregular. And then Fraser realized she was not crying. Her skin also seemed cold. Suddenly she sagged against him, unconscious.

Alarmed, Fraser recognized the symptoms. She was in shock.

The Mountie hit the emergency button and gathered the covers from the bed, wrapping her around and putting her into bed, as the door opened and a nurse went in. "What is it?"

"She is in shock!"

Dr. Lennyard came inside running. He opened her eyes, used a lantern and saw the pupils dilated. "Please step aside, Constable. But tell me what happened."

As the medics worked on her, Fraser could gather a few words to explain the doctor her state to the physician. The doctor swore under his breath and turned his attention from her. "You should have waited for me."

Before Fraser could retort, one of the nurses said, "I think she is coming to."

Linda moaned, then whispered. "Ben..."

He tried to get closer, but there were about three people over her, and he was blind, deaf and focused. He never heard a word they said, all he could hear was her voice. Weak. Calling him.

"Ben... please..."

Without ever knowing exactly how he moved, Fraser found himself in bed with her, taking her into his arms, comforting her gently. She was not really crying, merely whimpering and clutching to him as if he was her last line of life.

"She is stable. The sedatives will kick in," informed the nurse.

Fraser felt her struggling to sustain her grip on him, but the muscles were giving away. It pained him to see such grief in Linda. In a few minutes, her hands fell from his chest. Dr Lennyard patted Ben's shoulder and gestured him to go outside. Ben gently separated from Linda and noticed her weak protests at his departure.

Outside her room, Ben expected to be greeted by a fuming psychiatrist. That was not the case. Still, he thought he owed the doctor an apology. "Doctor, I am sorry and –"

"No, Constable, it is all right. It is not your fault. Linda would have to be told sooner or later of what happened. We can't be so protective of her all the time."

"Still, I should have foreseen her reaction a little better."

The doctor touched his shoulder and managed a smile. "Maybe you were in no shape to foresee anything, Constable. I should be the one apologizing. It was your loss, too. My condolences."

Fraser was startled for a minute, then he controlled the tears raising in his eyes. "Thank you."

Another pat on his shoulder. "I suppose you will be staying the night." Ben nodded. "Call me if you need me."

"Thank you, doctor."

Dr. Lennyard smiled, then walked down the hall. Fraser watched him go, pensively. Then went back inside the room, to take care of the woman he loved.


	26. Chapter 26

## Chapter 26

Sunday was a weary day. Linda was still heavily drugged and responded only to Ben, and yet barely, sleeping a lot, in and out the whole day long. She did not eat, she hardly pronounced a word, and she did not recognize anyone except for the Mountie. Dr. Lennyard stayed there the whole day long, too, even though he was off duty. He just observed, and asked Fraser not to pay attention to him. The doctor’s eyes were fixed on Linda; her every reaction being carefully studied.

Actually, Linda would look at Ben, and her eyes would flicker with some recognition. She would stare at him, as if silently pleading something. It tore Ben apart that he could not read her eyes as he wanted. Sometimes he kissed her hand, praying that she could snap out of it. His despair was not alone.

Ma Vecchio prayed endlessly by Ben's side, and took gentle care that the girl was never alone. Even though Linda ignored everyone but the Mountie, her room was constantly flowing with Vecchios. Ray was on duty at the station, handling the reports Welsh demanded about the trip to Pittsburgh. He stopped by the hospital at the end of his shift, but did not stay long. After all, the Italian was wake 48 hours straight, and was no help to take care of Linda.

Night was falling on Chicago when Linda was coaxed into drinking a few sips of water. Such a simple gesture, and yet it brought so much relief to Fraser. The Mountie was much too afraid that Dr. Lennyard might decide to remove Linda to a psychiatric ward if she became truly catatonic. It would be such a downslide in her process.

Linda closed her eyes and seemed to be asleep early in the evening, after she was medicated. A bed was brought to Fraser and the Vecchios said their goodbyes. Dr. Lennyard also bid them farewell, then called Fraser to the hall outside. The Mountie blanched, afraid that the psychiatrist might want to transfer Linda right away.

"Constable, I would like to ask you something. Can you stay tomorrow with Linda the way you did today?"

Fraser shook his head, and he felt guilty. "I am sorry, but no. I do have the early shift tomorrow, though, and I can be back in the evening."

The doctor nodded. "Yes, it would be good. I am very optimistic about her."

That caught the Mountie completely by surprise. "Really?"

"Yes. This is the first time Linda reacted this way. She did not cut her bonds with reality. And you, Constable, act as a sort of link. You are the link she seeks to keep herself in the real world."

"I am?"

Dr. Lennyard really seemed excited to explain. "Did you notice the way she looks at you, as if asking for something?"

"Yes," agreed Ben, his heart wrenching as he remembered her pained look cast at him. "She seems to be pleading for something I don't understand."

"She is just asking for help. And you are helping just by being by her side. Normally, she would have gone in her own world, cut off from real life. But not this time. She may seem distant, but she is still here, Constable. This is so very promising in her case."

"I am glad you think so," admitted Fraser. "I was afraid she might be relapsing back into a catatonic state."

"No, she is still here. Don’t mistake my words: she is obviously very hurt, and she is in a lot of pain. But she has _not_ slipped into oblivion, as she did so many times before. Don't you see? She has _changed_ the pattern. This is tremendous progress, Constable. Er... May I call you Fraser?"

"Certainly, sir."

"I wished I could stay with her and observe more, but my fiancée is waiting for me. I think Linda is on the verge of getting back to real life fully. If she cried, we would know for sure that her grief would start. But that is all she can do for now, and it is a good sign, Fraser. This change in pattern is really promising."

"I have to confess, doctor: I am very surprised at your words."

The doctor patted the big Mountie's shoulder. "Never give up hope, Fraser. She needs you. You are her anchor to reality."

"What can I do to help?"

"Now, that is tricky. You see, Linda has to make up her own mind. It really is up to her. If you push her, she might feel threatened and retreat into her world as before. If you just don't pay attention to her, she might feel abandoned and want to withdraw from reality just the same. Just keep doing what you are, I guess."

"But I can't be here tomorrow."

"We will have to deal with that, then. Don't worry. I will be here, though. Would you like me to give you a call if anything changes?"

"I would appreciate it, yes."

"Ok, then. I take it that you will stay the night with her?"

"That is correct. I don't have to leave until early morning."

"Keep me posted, then."

"Sure. Thank you, doctor."

"Don't mention it. Good night."

"Good night."

The doctor left, and Ben went back inside the room feeling his heart so much lighter than before. Dr. Lennyard's attitude also surprised Fraser. After all that time, it seemed the psychiatrist wanted to befriend the Mountie. Maybe the good doctor was getting a little soft, thought Ben.

He returned to Linda's bedroom and sat beside her bed, so he could watch her sleeping. Very carefully, he took her hand between his, hoping she would react soon with more than those pained stares she was giving him.

It did not take long till he grew tired. He had slept more or less the same time Ray had and was exhausted, mainly emotionally. Even Mountie stamina could dry up eventually, so he stretched his abused backside and brought the extra bed closer to Linda. Then he lay gently by her side, still holding her hand.

His even steady breathing when he surrendered to sleep was the clue to a pair of green eyes that became alert and were fixed on him all night long. Linda watched Fraser asleep, and the thoughts in her head were a mystery.


	27. Chapter 27

## Chapter 27

Fraser's internal clock did not fail him. Early in the morning, pained as he was, he had to leave Linda to go home and get ready for work. When he approached her still form in bed to kiss her, he saw the green eyes watching him in total alertness. He whispered, "Good morning."

She just looked back at him. Then, she whispered back, "Ben.”

That startled him, but he quickly hid it. "I have to go to work. But I will be back as soon as I can. I can call a nurse so you won't be alone."

She kept on staring at him, expressionless, then she just said. "No."

He did not know if she was asking him not to go or not to call the nurse, but he settled for a kiss on her forehead. "I love you, Linda."

Her green eyes went moist. Then the door opened. Fraser was surprised to see the new comer.

"Ray?"

"Heya, Benny. Good morning, Linda." He closed the door behind him, arms full. "Thought you might be needing these, so I brought’em to ya." He raised his hand where there was a hanger with the red serge uniform wrapped in plastic. "Took it to the cleaners, too. And I also got your hat, and everything you need if you wanted to shower here." The cop deposited his parcels in the table nearby, minding the uniform. Then he turned to the couple. "Come on, Benny, or you're gonna be late. And you don't want to get the Dragon Lady mad at you, now, do you? Go shower while I pick up breakfast. Coffee or tea?"

Fraser was so touched by Ray's gesture that he had trouble to speak, "Tea, please, Ray."

"And you, Linda? What would you like?"

There was tension for a while in the bedroom, that went silent with expectation. After a minute, though, Linda answered, "Cocoa".

Ray smiled, "Hey, nice answer. Maybe I'll get some cocoa myself. Come on, Benny, hurry up!" The Italian seemed electric in the morning. "Ah, Linda: will you be all right by yourself while I pick up breakfast, sweetie? I won't be long, but if you need me, I can wait till Benny is back."

Ben deliberately took his time to pick up the uniform Ray brought as he waited for Linda to answer. Ray tried to look casual but he was nervous, too.

"Please go, Ray."

He couldn't help a smile. "Ok, then, sweetie. I will be right back." He turned to the Mountie. "You hurry up, Benny. I won't be driving you today, because I will be here with Linda."

"That is fine, Ray."

"You two – behave."

The two men ate breakfast and Linda even took a few sips of the cocoa Ray brought her. Then Benny kissed her goodbye and left, after making sure Ray called him the minute he needed. Linda closed her eyes and tried to sleep a while, since she had not done it at night.

Ray had the day off, and he was so distressed by the news his mother brought from the hospital that decided to make everything he could so that Linda would feel better. But he found the girl was better than what his mother described.

Dr. Lennyard arrived early and was surprised to see Ray with Linda. He basically kept on the observation routine he had done Sunday. Linda slept and ignored the doctor totally, as she did Sunday.

The nurse woke her up to take her vitals. Ray noticed she hardly moved. She almost ignored the nurse. That sank his heart.

When the nurse left, Ray tucked her. "I think you want to rest some more, right. Linda? Unless you are you hungry, then I can fetch you something."

Linda closed her eyes and sighed. Then she shook her head and grimaced. Ray kissed her forehead, his heart quite tight. "I take that as a no to lunch. OK, sweetie, you can rest if you want, now."

He stroked her hair tenderly, and Linda felt so loved it almost ached. She kept her eyes shut for most of the day, thinking. Things were so difficult to sort out.

Ray tried to keep himself busy, always alert about Linda. He reviewed some reports he was due in the station, and kept an eye on her. Nurses came and went, trying to check her vitals. Linda did not open her eyes, but she was plenty aware of the nurses handling her, even Ray's occasional caresses.

It was close to sundown when Ray noticed Linda's eyes open, staring at him. His face lit up on a smile, that one he reserved for the few privileged person who saw it.

"Hey, beautiful. Hope you slept well," he caressed her hair gently. "You must be hungry."

"Ray." She said softly. "My baby".

Ray's hairs on the back of his neck stood up. He tried to keep his voice even and casual. "Yes, Linda, what about the baby?"

"Tell me about it." Her face was expressionless, her voice was flat and low.

"Well, Linda, I don't know what you want me to say. We were looking for the kid, and we found him. But we did not know the child was sick."

"Sick?"

Ray took her hands in his and nodded. "Yes, the kid was sick. I spoke to the doctor, and he said it had a heart disease no one knew about."

Linda blinked at Ray. "Was it a boy or a girl?"

Ray felt his throat tightening. "It was a boy, Linda. His name was Robert."

"Robert," she whispered quietly. "What a nice name."

Ray stole a glance at Dr. Lennyard, who was at a corner of the room, taking notes. He gestured the cop not to pressure Linda.

"Ray?"

"Yes, Linda?" He saw her wincing, a hand to her stomach.

"I think I am going to get sick".

Out of impulse, Ray brought the trash can from the bathroom and she promptly retched violently there. She could not throw anything up, for she had not eaten in two days. Dr. Lennyard called a nurse, who helped Ray clean Linda when her stomach finally settled down.

"Are you all right now, honey?" Ray kept caressing her. "Would you like some water?"

Linda looked up at Ray, shaking her head. Then Ray noticed her eyes glassy and huge, filled with tears. Her face crumpled and she sobbed once. "Oh, Ray..."

That was all it took. The Italian gathered her in his arms, and she held on to him, weeping silently. For long minutes, they held on to each other, both crying now. Ray cried in relief that Linda started to grieve the loss of her son. It was a sign to health. Dr. Lennyard patted Ray on his shoulders, smiled and left the room, satisfied.

On his way to his office, the psychiatrist bumped into Fraser, whose shift was finished. The physician was glad to tell him what happened, and the Canadian rushed to Linda's room.

"Benny!" Linda threw herself in his arms, mindless of his pea coat, eager to be with him, to have him console her, holding on to him as if her life depended on it.

Ray rose up, wiped his own tears and said, "I am gonna get us dinner."

Fraser looked at him, a little amazed at such a prosaic worry. Linda looked up, too, and nodded. That made for a brilliant Italian smile, and Ray left off.

Fraser looked down at Linda. She whimpered, "We lost our baby, Ben. I am so sorry."

"So am I." He kissed her cheek and licked a tear off her face. "But I was so scared about you, my love. I am relieved now."

Linda swallowed. "Sorry I scared you. Ben, I need to know. Tell me about it."

He nodded and handed her a paper tissue. "All right. I thought you would want to know."

She wiped her tears and blew her nose, and he took her hands. "Did you see him, Ben?"

The Canadian shook his head. "No. We... arrived too late. But I have a picture." He retrieved the Stetson and produced the photograph from there.

Linda had shaky hands when she took it. She looked at the smiling face, the pinkish cheeks, and the big blue eyes. She seemed awed. "He is so beautiful. Ben, he looks like you." Linda raised her head and looked at Fraser, tears once more forming in her green eyes. "Why did he die, Ben?"

"The doctor said it was a heart disease. There was nothing he could do. The baby was in the best hospital in the whole country, and had the best care. The couple who adopted him had resources and spared no money trying to save him."

"Benny... Did they love him?"

"Very much. They were devastated at their loss."

"Do you believe they were good people?"

"Yes. They were very upset with the things we told them. What they told us was also very upsetting, but we were expecting that."

Linda shook her head. "That woman... That woman... must have said horrible things about us. About me."

Fraser kissed her front. "Now they know that none of that is true. They were very surprised with all of this, and they loved the boy very much. We did not spend much time with them, but we could tell that they took good care of the baby, and that they really loved him."

Linda smiled, as the tears fell from her face. "That is good. He was loved, and it is very good." Then she was serious again. "Did they know he was a stolen baby?"

"No, they were very surprised about it. They were under the impression that the whole adoption was a legal procedure, and that the money they paid was a fee to the baby's mother. They are scared that they might be prosecuted and face trial."

Linda's eyes widened. "Benny, they could be? They did not do anything wrong."

"Yes, Linda, they could. After all, they bought a baby and that is illegal."

"It is?" Linda seemed surprised. "I did not know that."

"It is, Linda."

She thought for a few minutes, then said. "I would not like them to be prosecuted."

"And why is that?" Ben wrapped his arms around Linda.

"They loved our baby, Ben. They seem like good people; from what you say. They don't need more suffering. We had enough pain in our lives brought by that woman. At least, she was not responsible for this tragedy."

Ben had to say. "As a matter of fact, Linda, she was."

Linda turned to look at him, and saw the pain. "What do you mean, Ben?"

"Victoria was indeed responsible for the baby's death."

"But you just said, the baby died from a disease."

"It was a malformation in his heart. The doctor is still going to make an exam, but he was pretty sure that the malformation was caused by wrong kind of drugs taken during the gestation."

Linda was not sure she understood what he was saying. "Drugs?"

"Yes, probably the ones you took when you were pregnant. Remember? Those were strong chemicals. It took almost a year for you to clear your body from them and get back to normal. Imagine what they could have done to a small baby growing inside of you. He was born with a weak heart, and his heart just did not have strength to keep on beating. That was how he died."

Linda's face slowly crumpled as her heart shattered in a thousand pieces. "Oh, no, Ben." Her voice was small and she hardly could breathe, as she looked up, tears back in her cheek. "So... it was _my_ fault?"

Ben rushed to assure her. "No! Of course not, Linda. Not your fault. The drugs were given to you." He held her to his arms, shooing her. "It was never your fault. The couple who adopted Robert knows that. And Mrs. Killshaw asked me about you."

That brought Linda's attention. "She did? What did she ask you?"

"She wanted to know if you ever wanted the baby. Then she gave me the picture. Took it from her own purse and said I could keep it."

Linda nodded, with a sad smile, a tear in her cheek. "A good woman, Ben. See? She doesn't need any more suffering."

Ben held her closer. "Neither do you, my love. I wish I could take this pain away from you."

"Oh, Ben." Linda snuggled up against him. "I love you so much."

"I love you, too. And I will love you even more if you eat and sleep as I am sure Dr. Lennyard wants you to."

"Will you stay here? Please?"

"Of course. Ray needs to go home."

"He is such a good friend. He has been here all day."

As if in cue, Ray opened up the door, all agitated. "All right, Benny, Linda, we gotta eat this real fast. Head nurse is bound to come here, and she ain't happy that I smuggled dinner. She hinted that food coming from other places than the hospital kitchen would be confiscated, and I just almost killed an old woman who wanted to get her hands on this pastrami sandwich."

Linda had to laugh at the long tirade, and all three of them settled in Linda's bed for a genuine picnic. So, when Nurse Patty came in offering dinner, Linda said she was not hungry. The nurse immediately glared at Ray. "What?", asked the innocent little Italian angel.

However, Linda could not escape the sedative and night medication. This time she slept all night long. So did Fraser and Ray.

*** * ***

The aftermath of little Robert's death was not at all as Ben had expected. It seemed Dr. Lennyard was really good at predicting Linda's reaction. She was quite sad and depressed for the rest of the week, and her improvement in physical therapy halted for a few days. But sooner than the Mountie thought, she was alive and kicking back again.

During the bad days, Linda got a lot of visitors. Meg Thatcher came, and they talked about Canada, much to Fraser’s delight. Mrs. Mutchnik stopped by and they had a chat about quilt and knitting. Then Turnbull stopped by on his day off, and it made Linda very happy. Diefenbaker was also "smuggled" in, and the patient was thrilled. So was the wolf, who missed the girl a lot.

Finally, the day came when Linda received her crutches. It sure was a nice sight, and Dr, Lennyard began to mention a release. That was a boost for Linda to work even harder in her recovery. The end of the year was approaching, and she might be home before Christmas.

"I was hoping to be home for Thanksgiving, but Dr. Lennyard says it is not likely."

Ma Vecchio smiled. "We are all hoping that you can be soon at home, _bambina_."

"I have been here for so long," said Linda. "I miss my home."

"The doctor said you will be out of medication in a few days."

"Yes, isn't it great? I won't be fainting as much. Poor Ben, he gets so scared."

"He worries about you. He is a very good man."

"Yes, that he is. Ma, are you sure you can afford to be here all afternoon? I don't mind the company, of course, but I know Thanksgiving is next week, and you sure have a lot of things on your mind, because of the family dinner."

"Don't worry about it, _bambina_. This year we are doing things differently."

"What do you mean? There will be a family dinner, won't it?"

"Of course. But this year, everyone will bring something. So, Aunt Lucia will bring the yams, Uncle Lorenzo will get the wine, my sister Cecilia will bake pies, and so on. I won't have as much work. Cesca is helping me, too."

Linda said, "I wish I could help, too. Maybe I will be able to do that on Christmas."

"Sure you will", Ma Vecchio patted her thigh. "I heard you are learning handcrafts from your nice neighbor, Mrs. Mutchnik. Would you like me to bring something for you to do, like Christmas angels or the hanging from the tree? You could do that here in the hospital."

Linda beamed. "Oh, I would love that. Can you do that?"

"Of course. There are decorations for the outdoors, and I could use a little help, if you are willing."

"I sure am, Ma."

There was a polite knock on the door and Dr. Wilson came in, smiling. "Oh, hello, Linda. I see you have visitors."

Mrs. Vecchio said, "I can wait outside if you want, doctor."

"No, there is no need, Ma'am. I just need to talk to Linda about her condition. You are welcome to stay, if you like."

Linda was curious. "What is it, doctor?"

The doctor sat on her bed. "Well, Linda, I am very pleased you the results you are showing. You have been evolving very nicely, and as you know, we will soon start to get you off the medication."

"Yes, sir, I know that."

The neurologist spoke with a solemn voice. "I know you are anxious to get back home, but now comes a very important part of your treatment. We must avoid, at any cost, that you fall when using your crutches. A broken leg or even a broken arm may set you back in months of treatment. So, we don't want you taking any unnecessary risks."

Linda fully understood the seriousness of his words. "I won't, sir."

"Good, Linda, good." He smiled and patted the chart. "Now, I keep having good news about you. These charts tell me that the blood remaining in your brain is minimum, and the damage made by those massive strokes you had almost a year ago is almost completely fixed. So, I might be able to release you in a very short period from my care. After that, it will be up to the physical therapist and Dr. Lennyard to grant your full release – so to speak."

Linda felt the anxiety rising in her heart. "I can hardly wait."

Dr. Wilson was smiling. "I have told you that you had a very good chance of being able to walk again, and now it seems a matter of a few weeks. I am very proud of you, Linda. Congratulations."

"I thank you for everything, doctor."

"I was only doing my job, really. And believe me: I wish more of my patients could be as motivated as you have always been. Well, now I have some more of them to see. Do you have therapy today?"

"Yes. But it is only before dinner."

"Oh, you enjoy your rest, then." He smiled at Mrs. Vecchio. "And thanks again for those cookies, Ma'am. My wife is still impressed with them."

The old Italian woman blushed. "I am pleased you liked them. It is the least I could do after what you have done for my _bambina_."

Linda was very grateful to know that Ma had baked her famous cookies to Dr. Wilson. He had been really very nice to her, and the gesture was a simple, yet very sincere one. When the doctor left, Linda realized that even though she would still be in a hospital, her Thanksgiving would be very busy, for she had indeed plenty of things to be grateful this year.


	28. Chapter 28

## Chapter 28

Benton Fraser had a pained expression in his face. "Are you going to be OK?"

"Ben, I am more than fine."

"You know I wished I didn't have to go."

"Ben, I insist that you go. If you don't, Ma will be very upset. So will be Ray, I am sure. They might never forgive you."

"I will be back as soon as I can."

"There is no need to rush. I know the house will be full, and you enjoy being with the kids. You haven't done that lately, and they miss you, too. Besides, it is a holiday."

"But you will be so alone, Linda."

"You know I will not be alone. Besides, Nurse Patty has already assured me that the children's ward is having a special Thanksgiving presentation, and I want to be there. There is also a special menu today, with turkey and dressing. It is going to be fine, and I won't be ever alone. I will be celebrating Thanksgiving a different way, that's all. Just make sure to tell everyone I wished I could be there, too."

"They know that." His heart was broken. "I will be back later, when the football game begins, and we can spend the rest of the evening together."

"I know that. Now go, or you are going to be late."

He leaned in so they could kiss. Linda smiled. "You are so handsome in this outfit. How am I to know some Vecchio girl won't try to snatch you?"

"I won't let any of them do that. And Ray can protect me, too."

"OK, then." She kissed him. "Happy Thanksgiving, Ben."

"Happy Thanksgiving, Linda."

Their kiss deepened, and then he took his Stetson, hard as it was to go. Linda teased, "Don't eat too much, OK?"

"I won't."

"Have fun."

"I will be back."

Benton Fraser positively fled the room, otherwise he would not be able to go at all. And he had already promised Ray he would go. The cop made sure he promised, so he wouldn't back out. It broke his heart to leave Linda alone, much more because that would be the first Thanksgiving of her life. If she were out of the hospital, she would have her first Thanksgiving dinner with the Vecchio family. At least once she had voiced her strong desire to be with them at Thanksgiving. Ben hoped they could make up to her at Christmas. Dr. Lennyard had promised she most certainly would be home by then.

When Ben reached the front door of the hospital, he heard the loudspeaker system calling for the scheduled Thanksgiving Presentation at the children's ward, right before the Special Thanksgiving Lunch. It seemed Linda would have some fun even in the hospital.

He took a deep breath when he reached the street and inhaled the brisk coolness of the Chicago autumn. The wind was harsh and cold. It was nothing like the Territories, of course, yet he was glad he brought his warmest flannel. He might run into a surprise snowfall later in the day.

Of course, Benton Fraser could not imagine the other surprise he was running into.

*** * ***

Linda held on to the crutches and thought Dr. Wilson might be angry if he saw her at that moment. She was going all by herself to her room, risking a fall through the slippery hospital hallways, and the medication was still making her faint. She was taking extra care with the crutches, even though she was getting pretty good at them.

She had been out of her room to watch the children's presentation, and she enjoyed it immensely. All children who were healthy enough had been part of the festivities, even though they had horrible diseases, and might not even see next Thanksgiving. Linda felt sad for them. Now that she had more mobility, maybe there was a chance she might go to their ward and spend some time with them. She loved children and the kids surely would like someone new to play.

It was almost time for the special Thanksgiving lunch that Nurse Patty had mentioned, and Linda wanted to be in her room soon. At that pace, she thought, time would pass so quickly that she would hardly have time to miss the Thanksgiving dinner that the Vecchios surely were having.

Linda wanted so much to go, but the doctors said no. Ray had promised some of his mother's delicious cooking for sure, but Linda was more interested in being with the family together, feeling loved, sensing she belonged somewhere. It would have been the first Thanksgiving of her life with a family. She had been looking forward to that, but it seemed that was not going to happen.

Oh, well. It was not the first time she spent Thanksgiving by herself. She had a lot of experience in that, so there was no reason to feel sad and lonely. Besides, she had a place to go if she could. She was not alone, nor unwanted. Not anymore.

The sooner she could be by her room, then more quickly Ben would be back. So, she tried to move the crutches a little faster. There was a lot of noise at the corridor, she noticed. It was a holiday, so visiting hours were different. Maybe there were relatives from some other patients, Linda thought. It sure was a lively crowd.

And she thought the noises were coming from her room.

When Linda opened up the door to her room, she saw that she had not imagined things. She gaped at the scene in front of her.

Inside the small hospital room, Ray, Ben and Tony maneuvered a large table at the center of the room as Maria and Francesca juggled with containers filled with hot food, from where mouth-watering smells were emanating. Meg Thatcher and Turnbull carried table towels, plates, spoons, forks and knives. There were other assorted Vecchios, older relatives. Ma had a steaming tray with a roasted turkey in her hands and smiled as she saw Linda at the door.

" _Bambina!_ "

Ray turned around and his eyes widened. "Linda, you should not be walking by yourself!" He dropped the table (almost at Tony's foot) and rushed to her side. "Here, let me get you to the bed."

Linda was still unable to articulate a word, and she was gently put to bed as Ben and Tony finished finding a suitable spot for the table. Ma turned her attention back to the show at her command, and instructed Turnbull and Meg Thatcher. "Now, Mr. Mountie, you may please put the towel back on the table. Inspector, if you don’t mind, get the plates, too."

"Ray," Linda whispered, her heart beating at unbelievable speed. "What is going on?"

He took her hands in her, and kissed them. "Oh, sweetie, it was Ma's idea. Since you could not go to Thanksgiving, she thought we could bring Thanksgiving to you."

After helping set the table and putting the delicious looking turkey on it, Ma then turned to Linda. "It was all approved by your doctor. And they also said the children could come, at least for a short while. Too bad they missed the presentation, wasn't it? Anyway, they are coming with Uncle Lorenzo. Sorry, there was nothing I could do about Diefenbaker. He is still forbidden. I am sorry."

Linda was still looking at all the feverish activity around her, and seemed stupefied. "But... why, Ma?"

"Oh, _bambina_. You are family. And this is what families do. Thanksgiving is to be spent with family."

Tears were streaming down Linda's cheeks before she even noticed, and her heart seemed to be bursting with joy. Ma held her tenderly. "No, no, _bambina_ , don't cry. It is a time to be happy. Look at all the people who wanted to be with you. Now, stop those tears, eh?"

Ma herself wiped Linda's tears and then patted her cheek. Ben kissed the girl's head. Linda smiled at him. "I said I would not be alone. But I never imagined this." Then Linda narrowed her eyes. "Ben... have you by any chance...?"

He didn't even let her pose the question. "I swear I got nothing to do with it. I just went along, because I thought it was a good idea. Don't you think?"

Linda looked into his eyes and found her happiness mirrored inside them. "Great idea."

They kissed.

They were interrupted by the noise at the door when a bunch of Vecchio kids stormed inside the room. The little gang missed Aunt Linda so much that all three wanted to kiss her and hug her at the same time, so that Uncle Benton was solemnly trampled by the Vecchio stampede. There was squeaking, giggling and laughter.

Ma Vecchio interrupted the little bundles of joy. "Plenty of time for that later! Now, please, everybody, sit. Raymondo, help me settle everyone. Inspector, Meg, here. Mr. Mountie Constable, please. Oh, you are so polite!"

Linda observed that Turnbull really seemed in his element, helping serve food at one time and at the other controlling the squealing kids. She smiled at the sweet big Mountie, who smiled back at her.

At the table, Linda was reintroduced to elder and long-forgotten Vecchio relatives, such as Aunt Lucia and Uncle Lorenzo, among others whose names she could not remember amidst that sweet noisy mess. Then Ray raised his glass and tapped it with a fork.

"Attention, people, just one minute, please. Thank you. As always, before we have dinner, each of us gives thanks for at least one good thing that happened in the last year. I want to say I am grateful that a dear friend of mine is alive now, although the doctors did not believe so."

One by one, everybody at the table gave thanks, even the children. Linda was overwhelmed by the tradition. When it came to her turn, she did not know what to say. By her side, Ma Vecchio squeezed her arm. "Just tell us what is in your heart, _bambina_."

Linda sighed, and let her heart speak for her. "Well, although I am grateful for this wonderful family having moved the Thanksgiving dinner to share it with me, I have to say I am thankful I found my child who I thought was lost. Now I can move on with my life, with my own legs, and, thanks to this lovely family and Ben, my life is no longer a lonely one. I have so many things to be thankful I don't even know how to say all of them. So I won't. I am thankful for so many blessings, that's all."

A tear rolled down her cheek and Ma Vecchio squeezed her arm once more, choked with emotion for a moment. Benton also gave thanks for having Linda back with him, and their lips brushed in front of everyone in the table. They blushed at the happy smiles cast at them, and the meal went on, with love and warmth around them.

It did not cause any surprise that some of the doctor and nurses who were on duty stopped by at the festive room. They were all welcomed to help themselves to the fabulous Vecchio pumpkin pie or roasted turkey with stuffing.

Linda looked around at the various scenes and conversations around her. She felt Ben's arms wrapping her and smiled. What she said about the baby was true. She was grateful that the baby would not be an issue with them anymore and that she might pursue her happiness for life, multiplying scenes like the one she was witnessing at that precise moment. After all, she and Ben would have plenty of time to have another one. Neither of them would miss the opportunity.

**_* * *_ **

"Ray? I wasn't expecting you."

"I know, sweetie, but this is an official visit." He kissed her forehead. "It is about the case I am working on."

"Case? How can I help?"

"I just want to check out something with you, Linda." Ray sighed and took her hand between his. He said it carefully. "It is still about the baby. I need to know if you will want to sue the Killshaws."

Linda felt her heart faltering for a few seconds, then focused on Ray's words. "The Killshaws are the couple who took care of my baby, right?"

"Yes. But the baby is dead, and as a natural mother you might want to sue them."

"Sue them?" Linda did not understand. "For what? They did not do anything wrong."

"You might think so, but some people think that it would be better to let a judge decide it. You could ask them for a sort of compensation or something."

Linda looked away. "No. Ray, if what Ben told me is true, then this whole thing has been as heart-breaking for them as it has been for us. Everybody involved suffered a lot. There is no need to prolong the suffering. I heard these law suits can be very painful."

Ray smiled. "You really think so?"

Linda looked at him, tears in her eyes. "Ray, you told me yourself that they seemed devastated with the baby's death. In many ways, I can guess they suffered more than I did at that particular time. I was also in pain, but for different reasons. They loved my baby, Ray. I can only thank them for that. My child was not unloved." She looked at him. "Why would be police business anyhow?"

"If you were willing to sue, then there might be evidence of foul play. You know, there is still a chance they knew the baby was stolen, or that they even had a sort of understanding with Victoria to... er... produce the baby."

That hit Linda, but she shook her head. "No, Ray, I don't think so. Everything I know about them tells me otherwise. If you can avoid the lawsuit, please make it so. I ask you, please, Ray. Let this end. Let us move on."

Ray nodded, thinking hard. Linda noticed he was struggling inside. "Ray? Something wrong?"

He sighed. "I wasn't going to tell you at all. I did not think it would help you, but now, maybe you'd like it."

"Ray, what are you trying to tell me?"

"The Killshaws want to meet you. They asked me to arrange a meeting, while they are still in town. I said I would ask you, but then I was lying. I did not think you needed that grief. But now I think you might want to thank them in person."

Linda stared at Ray, confused. "They want to meet _me?_ "

"Yes. You are the mother of the child they loved. You have this bond in common, Linda, don't deny it. But you don't have to do that if you don't want. Matter of fact, I told them that you were still in too much grief, and you probably did not want to do that."

Linda was quiet. Too quiet to be normal, noticed Ray. Well, maybe it was all for the best. He tried to cheer her up, and put his arm around her shoulders protectively. "It is all right, sweetie. You don't have to do this."

"Ray." She raised her head and looked at him. "I want to meet them."

"Really? Because I told you, there is no need."

"I know, Ray. But I think it will be good for me. And for them. But I want Ben to be with me at the time."

Ray nodded. "I will tell him, too. Are you sure?"

"Yes, Ray, I am sure. Can you understand it?"

He gave her a soft smile. "Of course I can. I will let them know, then. When can it be?"

"Whenever they want. But I am about to be released in a few days, Ray."

"Don't worry. They are due back to Wisconsin tomorrow or the day after. Is that all right with you?"

"Yes. Just give me a call first."

He hugged her. "You are a brave and surprising young one, Linda."

"Aw, Ray, stop that." She blushed in her particular fashion, and watched him get up. "Do you have to go now?"

"Yeah, I told you I was on duty. Gotta get back to the precinct."

"Tell everyone there I miss them. But I will be there as soon as I can."

"They will be glad to know. Take care."


	29. Chapter 29

## Chapter 29

Linda clutched on her crutches to make the way from the bathroom back to her bed. Ben observed her intensely. More than once he was advised not to help her, unless she was slipping. It was hard for him to watch her go through such heavy work unaided. But now Ben marveled at the way her legs could move. It was not much, he knew, but he was still amazed at how fast she was improving.

Linda landed on her bed with a sigh and tried to catch her breath. "It looks easier than it really is, you know?"

Ben replied, "It really doesn't look easy at all. You are doing fine."

Linda propped herself up sitting in the bed, then swung her right leg lightly. "See? It is the best I can do. But the left one does not move at all, Ben." She was clearly disappointed. "I am worried."

Ben sat beside her and kissed her cheek. "But it will be moving soon, I am sure. I am very proud of you."

She smiled tenderly and took his hand into hers. "I love you more than forever."

"I love you, too." He took a deep breath, then looked at the clock in the wall. "They will be here at any minute, now. Linda, are you sure? You can still say no."

"No, Ben, it's fine. From what you said, they are nice people. I am calm." She cocked her head to him. "At least, calmer than you. Don't worry, Ben. Everything is going to be all right."

Ben looked at her, surprised that he had not notice his own nervousness. He was unsure about this meeting between Linda and the Killshaws. But then all his worries were totally germane. A soft knock made his heart race.

"Come in", asked Linda.

Ray came inside, smiling. "Hi, sweetie."

"Hello, Ray."

"I brought the Killshaws. Would you like them to come in now?"

"Please, Ray. Don't keep them waiting outside."

Ray went to the door and made a gesture to someone outside the door. He stepped aside to let a couple get in Linda's room. They were not quite what Linda expected.

Even though the woman was older than Linda, she could not have been older than Francesca, and definitely younger than Maria. Her clothes were very nice, and the minute she walked in Linda could smell she was wearing an expensive perfume, probably European. She was very good-looking, with blonde hair nicely done and looked at Linda with deep, huge blue eyes. The man was as old as Ben (give or take a few years), dressed in stylish trousers and a silk shirt in dark colors. He also had blue eyes, but his hair was darker than hers, although he had also blond hair.

After a few seconds of shock and awkwardness, Linda seemed to snap out and invite, "Welcome, Mr. and Mrs Killshaw. Please come in. Have a seat. Ben, could you please...?

"I will get some chairs", interrupted Ray. "Be right back."

Then Linda began to feel fully awkward, not really knowing what to say. She smiled nervously. "Oh, this feels so strange."

The man was the first to say. "Thank you for seeing us. I am not quite sure why we had to come, but my wife and I felt we had to know you, too. After the shock it was meeting your husband..."

Judith Killshaw reminded, "Of course, the circumstances were not the best. I hope we did not convey you the wrong impression, Mr. Fraser."

He smiled politely. "Of course not. I understand completely."

Ray came back with two chairs, that were promptly given to the Killshaws and then the cop made his discreet exit. Ben knew Ray would not go farther than the nurses' station. They also put Dr. Lennyard on alert, in case Linda miscalculated her own feelings about this.

Judith reminded, "Detective Vecchio says you are almost recovered, and you will soon be out of here."

Linda nodded and smiled at her. "Yes, I am looking forward to that."

The older woman paled. "Oh, God. You are so young." There was a minute of embarrassment, and she quickly added, "I don't know why I was expecting someone... older."

Linda volunteered. "I was not expecting someone so... nice, either." The two women exchanged uncomfortable smiles. Linda laughed out loud and could not resist being sincere. "This is really awkward, isn't it, Mrs. Killshaw?"

The well-dressed woman looked at her softly. "Please, Linda. Call me Judith. It makes me feel so much older." She looked down. "And I believe the loss we had is already enough to make us feel really old."

Linda tried to contain the tears. "I am sorry I could not go to the funeral." She shrugged. "But then again, I am not sure I would have gone even if I could. It would be so strange to see a burial of someone I haven't actually ever met."

Judith had a tear running down her cheek. "Oh, Linda, I am sorry. You have to know we did everything we could for him. We put all the resources we had at his disposal."

"Don't worry, I know that. Ben told me, and so did Ray. All I know about you makes me sure you loved my child very much, as if it was your own. That is why I cannot believe that you had anything to do with what that woman did. This is the reason I let Ray know there will be no lawsuit against you."

Alan Killshaw spoke for the very first time. "We told Mr. Fraser that we really believed that woman was a legitimate authority. It never occurred to us she might not be it. When we saw her criminal record, we were shocked."

Judith asked, "Is that true that she did this to you? I mean, that she was instrumental to this paralysis you are currently treating?"

"No," Linda shook her head. "Victoria _caused_ this paralysis. She injected me with drugs that caused this."

Ben helped, "Actually, she meant to kill Linda. It is quite a long story, in fact."

Linda took Ben's hand, "And now we are getting over all the harm she has done." She smiled at him. "That was why it was so important to me to see you. I needed to thank you for all the love you gave my child. He was also a victim of that woman. I am very thankful of what you did. I cannot thank you enough for that. He was loved."

Ben held her, and Linda continued, "You know, Ben and I used to think what might have happened to him, where he might be at that time. Well, at least, I did that a lot. I was so worried if he was okay, if he felt hungry, or if he would ever know that I did not abandon him. I... I was very worried that he might think he was not loved. You see, I grew up in an orphanage and Ben's family never believed in expressing their feelings. In a way, it was important for us that our child knew he was loved, because we have never had much of it." Linda's tears fell freely as she spoke. "I am glad our child was loved."

Judith seemed touched by Linda's sincere words. "You shouldn't have worried about it. Remember Alan and I _chose_ him to be our child, Linda. He was wanted and chosen, so he was twice loved. Bobby was such a lovely child, easy to love. He was gentle, smart and very active. It was such a pity." She got a handkerchief from her pretty expensive-looking purse, her crying returning. "I am sorry, but it is so hard..."

Linda wished she could hold that woman in her arms and help soothe the pain. Alan Killshaw held his wife as she wept for a few seconds. Linda also felt her chest hurting. It was really hard, hard to say goodbye to someone she had never even said hello. Yet, it seemed to Linda that the mutual grief might do them some good.

It took a while until Mrs. Killshaw ceased crying. She apologized, and Linda dismissed her apologies, saying, "Judith, I would also like to thank you for the picture you gave Ben. I know it must be very precious to you."

"Actually," she turned to her husband, who took his business suitcase, "I brought something you might like to see." She produced a heavy book, with a leather hardcover. "It is Bobby's photo album."

Linda's eyes widened, and there was a green light sparkling all over the room. "Could I... Can I see it?"

Judith stood up and took the book to her. "I brought it for you to see." She looked at Fraser. "Both of you."

Ben let go of Linda's hand and invited, "Don't you want to sit here on the bed, Mrs. Killshaw?"

"Yes, please."

Both women sat side by side, and the album was brought to Linda's lap. Her eyes travelled all over the pages, her expressions priceless as Judith talked over and over about each and every picture. There were baby pictures, every little different expression trapped in celluloid. Linda began to form a complete image of her son as Judith described him.

Robert was a very chubby baby in his first months. Judith told Linda he arrived at the tender age of 5 weeks. He was very interested in food, but he tired easily. The baby was a little restless at night, especially in the first weeks after he arrived, and Alan would overstuff him with clothes. When he got older, he began to take off most of his clothes. It seemed the baby enjoyed the cold weather, much like his real dad.

Curiosity was Robert's most prominent feature. As he crawled away in their big house, many were the times that the couple had to take him out of tiny spaces and little dangers every small child would be. Bob loved to get inside the fireplace in the living room. Once, Judith said, he almost got stuck behind the refrigerator. He was always excited about animals, and they were waiting for him to grow older to get him a puppy.

Many of the last pictures of Robert involved social interaction. The Killshaws had friends, and these friends had also their own kids, many older than Robert. Judith said he was considered a mascot around their social circle. He was still a small baby at winter time, but in the summer he played a lot at their beach house in Florida. He met a lot of new friends, too.

Robert was a sweet kid, very gentle to everyone around him. He hardly got upset, taking the "noes" as easily as the "yeses". If he did get upset, though, he would cry quietly. He did not smile much, but when he did, it was the most beautiful thing in the world. That was plain from the pictures.

To Judith it was very hard to accept that he died from an illness because he was a very healthy kid. He hardly ever run a temperature, even at times when his diet changed or when he got his teeth.

As Judith spoke, Ben looked attentively at Linda. His heart was half-torn because she seemed to follow every word the older woman said, absorbing it as if she could live it a little. That moment he knew, somehow, that Linda would be an excellent mother. He also knew that she was over this trauma. Ben realized Linda had totally accepted their son's death and had already begun to deal with it.

The Canadian smiled. Another wound was beginning to heal. Another nightmare was kept at bay.


	30. Chapter 30

## Chapter 30

It was a genuine confusion. A mix of voices, smells, noises, shouts and yelling as only true Italian families could do. Linda was getting dizzy trying to juggle two or three conversations at the same time. Yet she could hardly remember ever being happier.

She had been released from the hospital only a few weeks before, and there was a whole new life waiting for her. The holiday season had been totally different from any Linda had ever witnessed. First she had had her first Thanksgiving dinner, even in the hospital. Then last night, she found out what Christmas Eve meant for a full, loving family.

During the day they helped the community center near their apartment to serve homeless people a nice Christmas menu. Ben invited her, and she also helped in the kitchen. Once the chef heard she had done it before in a hospital, she was immediately summoned to approve ingredients and to time the huge boiling pots.

At the end of the day, Ray had given them a ride to the 27 Precinct, where a small party was being held. Ben had explained them that since the whole staff on the Consulate had taken the week off, there would be no social function at the place, and he would be free to celebrate Christmas with their cop friends. A small secret Santa was held, and Linda offered Elaine a small bottle of perfume, and was given a picture frame.

After that, it was all a family matter. Ben and Linda had left early the party at the Precinct with Ray to attend a special Mass with the rest of the Vecchios. Linda had never been to a Mass before, and she was amazed at the ritual. Father Biehan had greeted her specially, and she was so embarrassed she could hardly wish him a Merry Christmas.

On the way back to the Vecchio house, she walked side by side with Benny. It was her first real experience with her new walking cane in the snow. Linda was walking by her own legs now, but the left one was still a little lazy, so she limped and used a cane. Dr. Wilson, whom she visited weekly, was confident that she might be able to walk without it before spring. She was to be also out of medication come New Year.

In their walk, a few carolers greeted the couple. Linda had seen people singing at Christmas before, but not the real tradition of caroling. If her leg did not ache so much, she sure would drag Benny and Ray around all carol choirs in the neighborhood.

Ben marveled at Linda's excitement, and patiently explained to her the tradition of singing in front of houses, and many other traditions associated at Christmas. He also told her again of some Christmases he spent with his grandparents, and one in particular with his friend Innusiq. That one was etched in his memory, he explained, because the Inuit had adapted the Christian holiday, and it made much more sense to him as a child after what he experienced.

He heard Linda talk a little about her Christmases. It wasn't until she was almost a teenager that she had found out that the holiday existed. She had already been transferred to Dr. Lennyard's care when she got her first Christmas gift – from the psychiatrist. For many years, it was the only one she got. Once there was Mrs. Sorelli's gift, too – she still had the beige dress.

Her Christmases had been lonely and sad, but Linda did not know it was not supposed to be that way until she met Ray and Benny. Their description was so different from everything Linda always lived that for some time she believed they were exaggerating to her. Now she was seeing for herself that it was not so.

Linda was still awed at that wonderful image of people singing around the snowed street corners when they arrived at the Vecchios for the big family gathering after Christmas Mass. To Linda, there seemed to be an even bigger multitude of Vecchios than she had already anticipated. She helped Ma in the kitchen, but she and Francesca also took care of the kids. There were also cousins Linda had never seen before, and plenty of new games to play. Maria's kids expressed their happiness to see Aunt Linda back. The cane was a big success amongst the curious little Vecchios.

Then there was dinner, and some more special prayers. After midnight, it was officially Christmas Day, and there came the gift distribution. Linda was expecting that anxiously. She had a very special reason.

Following Benny's lead, she also made most of her gifts. Of course, Mrs. Mutchnik helped a lot. She knitted a new scarf for Ray and pan holders to Ma. Also knitting, she made little toys for the kids: tiny horses and fishes. Ben had called it "wool origami", then explained a little about the Japanese art of folding papers into figures. Linda became very interested in that, too.

Linda was filled with emotion when she received her first gift. It was a nice pair of leather gloves from Ray. Other gifts followed, but that one was special to Linda. She looked at Benny, and he saw the way she glowed in sheer joy and love.

The kids were all over the room, the noises they were making made it seemed like they had been multiplied. There were new dolls and new cars, and some cool CDs for the older ones. Linda looked around, and knew everyone was happy, even though there was a lot of yelling, in that special Vecchio way to show love.

When the gift frenzy settled down a bit, Francesca sat with Linda to explain the wonders of the perfume she had given Linda. It was then that her eyes caught a wrapped gift under the tree. She shouted, "Ray, you stupid, you forgot a gift."

He half turned and saw the object under the tree. "That is not mine." He picked up the gift, and saw that it was flat and rectangular. "It is not for me, either. It's for Linda."

"Me? What is it?"

Ray smiled and gave her the gift. "Sorry, dear, I am still no psychic. You have to open to find that out."

So Linda did. Under the gift paper, there was an envelope. That intrigued Linda. "It is an envelope. There seems to be a paper inside it." She opened it, curious. Yes, there was a paper inside it. It was some sort of official paper, with a note attached. She recognized the signature. "It is from Dr. Lennyard." She seemed confused, reading it over and over. "I don't know what it means. I don't understand it."

Ben stepped closer and took the official paper from Linda's hand. "May I?"

She relinquished the sheet and Ben started to read it, while Linda opened the note from the psychiatrist. She read it aloud, things still not making much sense to her. "Dr. Lennyard says that this is a first step... so that I may be...tracing footsteps on my own... from now on. And it seems to be a suitable Christmas gift..." She sighed, frustrated. "I still don't understand."

Ray was beside Benny, reading the document over his shoulder. "It looks like..."

Benton interrupted him. "I think it is, Ray."

"Wow." The Italian nodded. "It is a surprise."

Linda was trying to follow their meaning. "What is it all about? Ben, what is this?"

Ben sat by her side and explained, "Linda, this is a protocol. It means this is an official request for a document that will, if approved, certify that you are a suitable citizen at the eyes of the State of Illinois and you don't require anymore the services of a legal guardian."

Linda stared at him. "A citizen?"

Ray explained, "If you become a full-fledged American citizen, you don't need that legal tutoring thing from Dr. Lennyard anymore. You will be able to make your own decisions, without asking for anyone's approval."

Linda looked at Ben, hoping for confirmation. He just nodded, and looked extremely touched. She was not sure she understood what they said. "But... I am under his treatment."

Ben said quietly, "This is also an indication that you may be officially declared a sane person, Linda. You would no longer require intensive medical treatment."

Linda thought hard and hard on what they were saying. She looked from one to the other, still unsure. "I... am not sure what is means, Ben. Could you explain it, please?"

"From what I know, it means, whenever this document is made legal by the proper authorities, you don't need Dr. Lennyard to take decisions regarding you. Like Ray said, you will be able to decide what you want. Isn't that wonderful?"

Ray added, "And you will be able to do everything you want to do. If you want to travel with Benny, then you can have a passport. You can have your own bank account to keep your money. You can learn how to drive, you can vote, too. You won't need Dr. Lennyard anymore to sign for the lease on your apartment, or your application to night school. Do you understand?"

It finally sunk in. Linda's green eyes grew wide and she looked at the paper again, a little shaky. "Oh, dear..."

Ray laughed softly, and Ben held her hands. "We will be able to get married, too."

Linda turned to him swiftly, startled. She did not realize what that small piece of paper might do to her life. It might _give_ her a life, actually.

Without knowing how to release her deep and mixed feelings, Linda flung herself in Fraser's arms and held him tightly. She whispered. "I think I am scared."

He stroked her hair softly. "You are not alone. We will help you."

Then she stared into his blue eyes and grinned. "I think I am happy, too."

Ben's smile to her was priceless. "I am sure you are. I am very, very happy for you."

"Dr. Lennyard gave me such a very important gift. I hope he explains me more about this."

"I am sure he will. I have to tell him I am grateful for what he has done, too."

Ray touched Linda's shoulder and the couple looked at him. "I am very happy for you, Linda. Congratulations."

"Thank you, Ray. I will still be asking you a lot about it in the next days, so be prepared."

"I will help you in everything you need. I got a friend at city hall that owes me a few favors, and he can speed up any paperwork you need: certificates, any kind of ID until you get your driver's license. Oh! And I got another friend at the DMV when you get that."

Linda laughed. "Ray, I will appreciate your help a lot."

Francesca said, "Well, big brother, if you are so intense in congratulating, why not celebrate a little? Use that bottle of champagne before New Year's. The occasion certainly calls for it."

Ray smiled. "Great idea! What do you say? Want some champagne?"

"Sorry, Ray, I can’t." Linda shrugged. "Medication."

"But not for long," he reminded. "You are already off the neuro drugs for over three months. It is a matter of time until you get rid of all meds. For good."

Linda smiled. "Another nice thing." She looked at them, a smile that lit the whole house. "Not bad for a first Christmas, eh?"

Ben wrapped his arms around her. "And think there will be many to come..."

Linda smiled, then joined his lips to his, and the touch lingered for a few minutes. When they opened their eyes, Ray and Francesca were back with the other Vecchios, breaking the good news. Linda rested her head on Ben's shoulder.

In a week, a new year would begin.

But on Christmas night, her old life ended.

### THE END


End file.
